I Wish I Had a Tail...

I always used to watch Meet the Barkers. I loved that show. I loved the way Travis would run his hand through the top of Shana's hair & push it back.

I would be totally pissed if my husband did that to me all the time. It would totally messed up my hair & since mine is usually in a pony tail or some up-do anyway it would never work.

But on them, it looked hot.

They were also in Maui one time & he asked her what he was thinking & she said "that you want to tap that ass." I loved that, too.

Mostly because I say that to my hubby a lot. And that's what he's always thinking. I'm lucky but sometimes it's annoying. Mostly I'm lucky that he still wants & desires me after a million years together & that he's still such a horn dog in his mid-forties. But when I'm crabby or just want to watch tv it's annoying. Almost every wife knows what I'm talking about.

But I digress. Shana & her friend had a conversation about wishing they had tails. Shana was lying on the bed & pretending her arm was a tail. She said it would be so sexy & that if Travis had one he'd have it all pierced & tattooed.

My hubby & I have always had the tail conversation. Ever since we got married & got our first cat. I love how a cat can be perfectly still & you still know that he's pissed because his tail is twitching.

My hubby looks at me sometimes & even if I'm trying to hide it he knows that I'm pissed & tells me that my tail is twitching.

I'm a dog person, too, but I don't think I'd want a wagging tail. Too obvious. I don't want people to know when I'm all happy & excited to see them.

A cat tail, for sure.

Ho, Ho, Ho...

No, I'm not still talking about Tiger.

I'm talking about Christmas. It's almost here, finally. I'm very excited.

I love all the lights & the decorations & the good cheer. I love all the drinking & the socializing & the spending time with my family & friends.

Oh, & I like all the eating, too. Must get back on diet in the New Year.

But no resolutions for me. Except maybe to keep writing this blog. It's great therapy for me. I'm so glad people read it & sometimes are amused by it but it is also really helpful to me. Especially the feedback. The comments make me think more.

I made lovely Christmas cards through Costco. I printed little notes to put in the cards of people I don't see often or who live far away. And I printed our cute return address labels. I even hand addressed them for the personal touch but I think next year I'll print them cuz dang, my handwriting is bad!

All in all, I spent 6 or 7 hours on Christmas cards. Used all sorts of paper resources. Spent lots of money on buying & sending them.

And so far I've only gotten 5 in the mail. I hope everyone else is lagging, too, because I love getting Christmas cards. Or Holiday Cards, depending on what you celebrate. I love seeing the family photos. Seeing the little notes so long as they're not brag-o-grams.

I get one letter every year from a family that is rich. Beyond wealthy & so out of touch with how they appear that it's incredibly amusing instead of appalling. They write about all the trips they've taken to Africa, Peru, Brazil & Europe that year & include photos throughout the four page letter. They actually put the website links to all the things they've seen in their letter.

It's obscene & I love it. I look forward to it every year.

My letter is quite simple. My hubby & I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary this year. Our son will be starting Kindergarten next year & spends lots of time with his Grandparents & cousin. We traveled to Kansas to celebrate my Grandma's 86th birthday & my cousin's wedding. He's an expert traveler.

Not a brag-o-gram but some things I'm happy to share.

I hope you all are having a wonderful evening. It will be a busy, busy week & I'll be hung over a lot this weekend so if I don't write enough, I'm sorry.

Have fun, be safe & ho ho ho...

LMAO Funny!

This was posted on Perez Hilton & I wanted to share it.

Have a great day!

I Hear Crazy People...

I do.

Not all the time. Actually, it only happens occasionally. But it's been quite jarring on three occasions.

Today I drove by two old guys sitting on boxes on the side of the road & it reminded me. So I thought I'd write about it. Believe or don't believe. My hubby doesn't believe me. But he doesn't think I'm lying either. It's the same thing he thinks about ghosts. He doesn't believe in them but he knows that I do. That I've had experiences that I am 100% certain about. He doesn't not believe me. He just doesn't believe. He's rooted in science. I am not.

Anyway, I'll do posts about the ghosts another time.

The first time was when I was working at the City of Sacramento & was driving out of the parking garage through the underground monthly parking exit. Automatic gates with access cards. There was this homeless lady that dressed like Bat Man. She was very thin & we often saw her walking around Cesar Chavez Plaza. She wore a spandex black body suit, like a biking suit. And a black eye mask. It was always very odd to see her. Lots of homeless crazies everyday, but she was unique.

It was like 7pm on a Friday night in winter when I was leaving the garage. It was dark & it was cold & she had curled up like a cat on the ledge right above & beyond the parking gates. When she saw me she sort of changed her posture from a lounging cat to a cat that was ready to strike. And her lips did not move but I heard, & felt, a low guttural growl & hiss just like a cat. It came from her. 100%. It was so weird. It kind of struck me like a blow. And all night long I heard & felt it.

The next year, still at the City, I walked across the street to J's Market. There was a crazy lady, a typical looking Anderson or Redding looking lady. Long, straggly reddish hair. Kind of hippie looking sunglasses low on her nose so you could see her eyes. I didn't pay too much attention to her on the way in but I did hear her remarking about each person that walked by or was stopped at the stop light of 10th & J.

"White guy driving his car. Old man carrying a briefcase. Young girl walking a dog." It was strange but not the strangest thing I'd probably even seen that day for that area & that time of year.

I went inside, bought my drink & came back out. I was looking right at her when I walked by, I always make eye contact with everyone, & I heard her say, without a word coming from her mouth, "Fat chick getting a coke."

I was pissed. I was not even fat for me at the time. So not the point but I have to get that in there.

My mouth just dropped open & I looked right at her. She was two feet from me & she just smiled. Then she went on thinking about other people. It was less clear, however, because the shock & ringing in my ears was so loud.

I stumbled back to the office & fumed for hours. I couldn't tell anyone about it because of the fat thing. Oh, & that she hadn't actually said it.

Then finally, last year, I was in San Francisco on Union Square with my hubby & the kid to look at Christmas lights & the Ice Skating Rink.

It was beautiful but there was so much pan-handling it was unbelievable. The hubby & I always had to keep such a sharp eye & at least one hand on our four year old to keep him from wandering into the streets or bumping into a homeless pan-handler.

I had a hand on my son's shoulder & was steering him past a thin man with a long black beard & long black hair, a stocking cap & camo fatigues on. He was kneeling & as my son went past him to catch up with my hubby a few feet in front of him, I looked at the man & shook my head.

We were seriously hit up for money every 10 feet that night. Regardless of my stance on pan-handling usually, my hands were full with my son & the incredible enormity of all the people asking us, asking everyone there, for money.

I looked him right in the eyes when I shook my head & he started screaming at me. So much so that I stopped in my tracks & looked down at him with shocked, wide eyes & my mouth hanging open. He was still kneeling with his hands together like he was praying but his eyes narrowed & his mind was screaming "You stupid fucking bitch! Did you know that I fought for this country? Did you know what I did for you? I could have died for you you stupid fucking bitch!"

Again, I felt like I'd been dealt a physical blow & stepped back & stumbled the few feet to catch up with my family. I could still hear him yelling until I was many yards away. It just faded. When I looked back he was still quietly kneeling in the same position.

I asked my hubby later if he heard that man yelling at me & he said absolutely not. And he was right there & he didn't care what kind of situation it was he would have had an incident with him because no one was going to speak to his wife like that.

He didn't hear because the guy didn't yell out loud. He would have heard if he had. Absolutely.

Anyway, I'm just haunted by these memories this evening so I had to get them out.

I feel better now. Still haunted but better.

Have a great night. Thank you.

The More I Learn, The Less I Know...

Let me begin this by saying I like Tiger. I always have.

I played on the boy's golf team in high school, pretty friggin cool - go me, & I was getting ready to tee off for the girls state championship in Modesto when everyone started murmuring there's Tiger, there's Tiger, oh my gosh, it's Tiger.

I didn't know who they were talking about heading up to the 18th green, 20 yards or so from my 1st Tee, but I knew it was a big deal. I remember it still.

I also remember a friend of mine. A few years older, a world wiser & a somewhat mentor to me ~ no wonder I'm so fucked up. She was having an affair with an older man ~ an older, married man ~ & I was astonished that he could be cheating on her, too. Not just on cheating his wife, but cheating on his mistress.

She said, rather matter-of-factly, that all men want to do is get their dicks wet.

That sentiment rings in my head. No wonder my hubby takes the abuse that he does. And he is a good guy. I have no reason to worry. Whatsoever. But still...I remember what she said.

And then I remember the few years I spent working for the City of Sacramento & I saw every single form of adultery that exists. It was disgusting. I can't even imagine what Washington D.C. must be like. I could write a book on the marital debauchery in government. Oh wait, I am. I have. I just need a publisher...

Anyway, I don't blame Elin for leaving. You know Tiger was swearing on his Mother & his Father's grave that it was just those two. And now there's 10. Or more. I haven't looked since this afternoon.

I can say that at least it's just women. It could be men, too. Or 12 year olds in Thailand. So far it's just women...

I don't excuse him, but can you imagine how much ass Tiger has thrown at him each day?!

We women, some of us, are susceptible to rich, powerful men.

And they're susceptible to themselves.

They can do anything.

And they can.

Until they can't.

I would have beat his ass with a Driver. No doubt.

The "No condoms" would have been the deal breaker for me.

And the waitress from Perko's. Puleezzzz.

I'm a snob ~ or a classist, actually, as my flip side would say.

Have some standards. And keep her safe.

Team Elin.

Hope she has good lawyers cuz you know that he does.

Have a good night!

Philadelphia...

Tonight I'm watching Philadelphia. Such a touching & troubling movie.

"The Bug" as it was referred to on The Wire. My hubby & I still use the reference. Affectionately, we use it. About people we care about.

When I was 20, just barely 20, I was super cute. I still have an appeal but there was some time from my late teens to early twenties that I looked good.


I was sitting in LAX reading an Anne Rice Vampire Chronicle, in white 501's with black cowboy boots & my legs slung over the arm of the airport chair. I felt a murmur from all the people around me, not really knowing what it was about.

I looked up & about 5 feet from me was Tom Hanks, staring down at me, smiling. I said "hey" & he said "hi.". Then his security came over to him & elbowed him into the red carpet room with his wife. She kind of smirked at me, too.

It was him but different. He had on a red bandana & did not look well. It occurred to me later that he was filming Philadephia. I love his acting. Love to see him on SNL.

Just random memory for this evening.

Have a great night!

Been Lagging...

Obviously, by my lack of posts.

It's not just this. It's all my extra curriculars.

I just had to review about 19 pages of People of Walmart to catch up. It's much better in small doses but I can't miss stuff.

I must say, I saw something disturbing on POW. There was lots that was disturbing, true, but there was a hefty, semi-unattractive white woman with a shirt that said "Fart Now Loading...90% Complete." That would be a gross shirt on anyone: male, female, kid, whatever. But as a woman, I can't really even fathom owning a shirt like that, let alone wearing it in public.

I did have to double check & make sure it wasn't a picture of me bending over & picking up a coin from under my cart. It wasn't. I rarely wear slippers & pajama bottoms out in public, except to grab the newspaper from my driveway, but otherwise, it could have been me. And I don't currently have a preggo belly, of course :)

And I am afraid to even try to catch up on Perez Hilton. That MoFo is so prolific that if you skip a day it takes at least an hour to read all his new posts.

I've been working on some Christmas projects for my parents from my son & my niece. It has taken way more time & effort then I had intended. And I still have two more to finish. And I've been working at my J-O-B quite a lot for this time of year. Which is good, I suppose, but cutting into my just for fun stuff.

Thanksgiving was fabulous this year. Last year the hubby's sister brought a homeless cracked out lady to our house & she flipped out so anything was going to be a significant improvement. Don't even get me started on that story. Sometime I'll share, cuz it becomes more amusing with time, but it was bad. And I'm pretty tolerant & accepting of everyone, but let me tell you, it was not fucking cool.

Anyway, this Thanksgiving was lovely. It was just family. About twenty in all. My family & the hubby's family. I did almost all of the cooking & my Mom & my Aunt did almost all of the cleaning up so the day was perfection. Except I could never quite catch a buzz, no matter how much champagne I drank. Otherwise, just perfect.

Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving, too, & are enjoying this long weekend.

Have a great night!

Two Things...

My boss told me today that he was proud of me. That's a pretty rare & unusual thing for him to say & I didn't quite know how to react.

I continued enthusiasticly describing my sales plan & that I really think that the success I'm having will generate more sales, etc.

It was shocking & I'm still kind of all warm & fuzzy about it but I would never let him know that. Can't act like a girl...must be an equal. But really, a squeal of delight would not have been inappropriate for how happy he made me.

Moving on.

Not only does the hubby benefit from my success financially, he also benefits in other ways, too:

The His & Her KY Jelly sux. It's totally mentholated, which is quite surprising & somewhat disturbing. It didn't do anything additionally like the advertising suggested & it didn't seem to work as well as the traditional KY for its practical purpose. And it cost almost $17 at Walmart.

But sex is like pizza. Even just ok pizza is still pizza :)

That being said, it's been a pretty good few days.

Hope you're having a great night!

Today Rocks!

Actually, it was yesterday that kicked some major ass but today is the residual effect.

I work on commission. I think I'm switching to salary plus commission next year but right now, it's 100% commission. I made two enormous sales yesterday & I am done working for the rest of this month. And next.

Just kidding. The hubby says if I could just do this every week then he would retire & blah blah blah. That's what he always says. It's never enough for that one. Actually, he just pushes me & always thinks I can do more, do better, work harder. And me, well I always think an "A" is enough. There's no need to get an "A+".

I took a class with the hubby one time. It was a Cultural Anthropology class that I needed to graduate. I had taken it once before & got an incomplete or something similar so I needed to fix it for my transcripts. He's weird & he took it with me for fun.

He got like 116% in the class. I got 103%. We both got an "A". It looked no different when the grades were published. But he's an over-achiever. Heaven help our child if he's an under-achiever because it will be a long life for him :)

And me, I'm lazy. But I still manage to do well. Which is why I'm ecstatic today & just spent $400 at Walmart & Costco. And I will not have to take the shit from the hubby that would usually accompany the indulgence of my shopping habit.

I try not to take anything for granted. I'll keep plugging along knowing I'm fortunate to be employed. Same for the hubby. Counting my blessings. But it did feel good today to shop.

Have a wonderful day!

How To Be, Insensitive...

I am very sensitive. I hate it. It's one of the most detestable things I find in myself. I wish my feelings were not hurt so easily. But they are. And when I'm angry or sad, you can pretty much count on how I'm going to react. But hurt me, & I'm a maniac. It's not an attractive quality in me & I wish I could change it.

I'm trying to hold things inside more. For some time I told people when they had hurt me & why but I'm getting past that. I'm also trying not to hold grudges as much. Yeah right. Like that'll work. But I'm trying.

Everything's not always about me & I shouldn't take things so personally. Although sometimes it's so hard not to.

Do you get your feelings hurt easily? Do you hate feeling left out or excluded? Do you wonder why people you care about lie to you just to save your feelings which only ends up hurting worse when you find out what they lied about?

Oh well. Being mad takes a lot of energy so I won't be. Being hurt takes no energy at all because you just are or you aren't. Nothing to work out or focus on or think about.

I'm doing fine today. If I would have written about this yesterday, not so much.

In fact, I feel much better just writing about it. Thanks for reading.

And yes, I do occasionally suffer from C.B. Who doesn't??!

So Little to Write, So Much Time...

Wait, switch that...

I have a lot to say tonight. And let's face it...I've had a couple of cocktails so I'm in the mood to type. The office door's closed & I'm locked in. 'Til I knock out, that is.

First & foremost: My office is clean. I had a friend come over & do the deed. She said she'd be my bitch anytime I needed her & poof, there she was. She's not my bitch, or any one's. But anyone, including me, would be lucky to have her. Thanks for the help. And though it didn't cost nothin' it was worth way more than I coulda paid. You are the best! I think I'll keep you.

I went to a hubby's niece's kid's birthday party last night. This niece, who I helped raise & loved & spoiled is 25 years old. She has a daughter that just turned seven & a son that is 2 1/2. She breaks our hearts. The kids are with two different dads & neither are good providers. Oh, wait, they don't provide at all. The second dad got arrested a few nights ago, hit & run, resisting, tazed, false identity. Awesome.

This girl, our niece, I adore her, but she breaks my heart. We would have paid for college & she is amazing & she could have done anything. And here she lives in Anderson. Poor. Working so hard to barely make it. I slipped her a couple hundred bucks & I feel like I'm enabling but I can't not do something.

She never asks for it but it kinda seems like she never appreciates it. Almost expected. But it's not like she's going out & partying with the money I give her. She's just getting by.

I don't know. About this situation, I never have.

She's a lost cause. And yet I still try to fund the journey. But not a lot. I could do a lot more but really how much is my responsibility? I struggle with this situation.

The hubby would give much more financial assistance if it wasn't for my saying no. However, the assistance would have to go through me ~ meaning from my hand to hers. He would never do it himself.

I just can't be more generous than I am. I think we choose our paths & we follow them. Until we change them.

And third, on this Friday the Thirteenth: I miss my Tarot cards.

Before I got pregnant, I read my Tarot cards every week. I have hundreds of sheets of readings & I miss them.

Since pregnancy, I have not touched them. And I miss them.

I can't do it anymore but I want to. I'm going to start reading them again in the New Year. That's my plan.

We'll see if I follow through. But I usually do. It's a Scorpio thing. We have an amazing will power, when we choose to use it. I love you, too, my Scorpio Friend.

Also, I know of a very important person in my life that's had a painful ending happen today & a new beginning will start tomorrow. Be strong my friend. You're a muse to me & I can't wait until we meet again. Sleep tight, wherever it may be. You are amazing.

Have a great night!

A Poem By Me...

The irony is,
I lack self-control.
Ironic it was,
From the wind to the troll.

The smiling troll,
Replied with a sigh,
"The bed that we make,
Is the bed where we lie."



Have a great night!

Messy Boozeday Tuesday...

Tomorrow is Veteran's Day ~ no work, at least my customers aren't working ~ & no school for the kid.

I will be having a cocktail or two this evening. Finally feel like drinking again. It's nice to get a buzz on two glasses of wine or beer now instead of four.

My office is still a disaster. I am gonna have to get it together soon. The hubby is leaving town tomorrow until Friday & if I don't have the office floor picked up by the time he gets home I think he'll be annoyed.

He has a desk in here, too. And he's a neat freak. How did we ever end up together & how do we get along so well when we are such opposites?

He doesn't work from home like I do, however, so it's really my office. The messy space we share that truly drives him crazy is our closet. I try to keep it clean. It just doesn't happen. It'll be clean for a week or so & then it falls spectacularly apart.

Also, I need to clean out the garage. I have enough clothes to donate out there to outfit the Duggar family for 5 years.

Obviously, this is blog distraction office avoidance. If I don't turn around I don't have to see the mess.

My son just walked by, tiptoed in over piles of paper & said "Geez, Mom, why's it so messy in here?!"

I told him to stay out of my office if he's going to complain about it. I mean, really, how much shit do I have to take from a four year old?!

I blame his father.

But without my neat freak boys you probably wouldn't be able to find me under my considerable piles of paper, ten different sizes of wardrobes, fifty pair of flip-flops & too many boxes of Christmas decorations to count.

It's for the best I have them ~ in so many ways.

Have a great night!

Organized Schmorganized...

For work today I had to find a piece of paper with a quoted $ amount. I hate companies that fax me shit instead of e-mailing it. If they e-mail it to me, I know where it is. I just print it out for proof or I forward it.

I'm a pack rat. It's not like I'm not going to have something I need. It's just likely going to take me a little bit of time to find it.

So today, I needed this piece of paper from August. We were overcharged & we're not paying & I needed to prove that I was quoted $490 instead of the $780 they were charging us.

No problem. Just give me a half an hour & I'll get it to you.

So then, I get this wild hair up my butt that I'm gonna organize my office. It's that time of year. My son's birthday party is in a few weeks, I do Thanksgiving at the house for all the family & then my friend & I throw a holiday bash here for lots of people.

It's time.

I stack about 1200 sheets of paper on the floor in about six enormous piles. I get down two boxes full of hanging files to make updated ones & sit down fully intending to get organized while I search for this elusive piece of paper from August.

I go to the first pile & file two things into the new files I've made & then there's the quote.

It's the third fucking piece of paper I look at & I lose all motivation.

I fax it to our corporate office. Job done.

Except now my office looks like a tornado has hit it & I just don't want to fix it. Seriously, it looks like one of those houses on hoarders.

I think I'm going to offer to pay my super organized friend $100 to come over & go through all my stuff, ask me where each thing should go & then have her put it there.

That's what I did when setting up my son's nursery. I had a motivated friend come over, she volunteered, & I sat leaned against the wall on a pillow & she set up everything. It was awesome.

I think not being pregnant & it being for work, though, it's gonna take some cold hard cash to get somebody to do it for me.

Oh well. I think it will be worth it :)

At least the mess is behind me when I'm goofing off on the computer. But I can't drink too much tonight or I will totally break my neck trying to get out of this room.

Have a great night!

It's All Relative...

I am sick. I swear I have a reverse self-image problem.

I think I'm all that. I remember when I gained 50 plus pounds in the last couple of years I was miserable. I really was miserable, on the way up.

Well, now that I've lost almost 40 of that 50 I think I'm looking so good. When I was on the way up I hated it & the fat jeans I had to buy I'm now thrilled to be squeezing my getting smaller butt into.

It's all relative.

The hubby & I are planning a trip to Mexico this spring with a few of his friends & their wives. I love them all but they are all skinny fucking bitches. I say that in the most affectionate way, ladies. You know I adore you.

And there I'll be. In my tankini top & board shorts. They'll be looking amazing in their bikinis. Even if I don't eat until May, I'll still be in board shorts. The tankini top will just be a little more revealing.

And I'll feel great. I'll feel just as pretty as they are. I'll be a little envious & totally tell them about it to their faces but it won't bother me a bit. It never occurs to me to feel bad about myself. It just gives me focus.

But it has not always been thus. I don't remember my internal dialog from last year but I know it was hateful & full of self-criticism.

And I will say, quite honestly, if it was a year ago & I was still wearing that 40+ pounds then this trip would not be happening. Because the only way I could have quieted the screaming self-protests in my head back then would have been Xanax. And why waste a Xanax on a real issue when it's in fact something meant to be savored & enjoyed :)

It's all relative.

Have a great night!

Steady vs Binge...

"I have a blog topic for ya...

Is it better to not drink all week and binge or drink every night but not as much as you would if you had waited all week?

Personally I feel better in the morning if I just drink every night than binge.

Is that bad? LOL!!

Plus if I drink all week I'm less likely to make a drunk ass of myself than if I binged."

This topic was sent to me & I love, love, love it.

My answer is two-part:

I tend to drink at least some almost every night & still manage to binge & make an ass out of myself :)

Is that bad????!!!

Thanks for the post & please share your thoughts on the subject!

Halloween Thought...

Candy is Dandy, But Sex Won't Rot Your Teeth!

One of my fave friends sent me this in one of my favorite ever cards many years ago. I think of it every single Halloween.

Have a safe & happy one!

Hope you get your treats & your tricks :)

Being Sick = Weight Gain ~ WTF?!

Whenever I get sick, I drop like 5 pounds. Awesome.

But then toward the end of my cold or flu I start feeling better so I start eating again. And I start craving weird things & since I've been sick & am then feeling better I let myself give into my cravings.

And the hubby won't let me drink while I'm "still recovering," or at least it's just not worth the attitude I'll get from him, so I eat even more.

(It's never really a matter of what he'll let me do, I ultimately do whatever I want, but it's always whether or not it's actually worth doing what I want.)

I swear, every time I get sick, I can count on losing 5 pounds & then gaining 7, all in about 10 days. Add Halloween in this weekend & it will probably only net me +1 because I am so drinking tomorrow night. That will cut down on my mass quantities of food consumption.

Boo!

Bubble Vum...

Has anyone tried the new Three Olives Bubble Vodka?

That sounds pretty frigging good.

I must be feeling better but I'll still refrain from the cocktails until at least Friday, but more likely Saturday.

Oh, I will be drinking on Halloween. For Sure!

Gag Me With a Spoon...

Ok, so I've been sick. So sick. The hubby is gonna stop taking me out of town for the wild weekends if I keep getting ill after them.

I actually thought I might be coming down with a cold last Thursday & I chose to ignore it. I had planned on donating blood that day but decided against it. I'm so glad I did because about half the time I get sick after I donate blood & if I had gotten this sick I think I would have quit donating in the fall & winter forever! Now I know it was just me.

Anyway, I started feeling bad on Sunday night, then by Monday I really started feeling bad. Sore throat, stuffy nose, so much sneezing it was ridiculous. I always think spicy food helps so I called in an order of Green Curry Chicken & Spicy Tom Yum soup to my favorite Thai restaurant.

They told me it would be ready in 15 minutes so I showed up in 20. The soup was not ready so I stood to the side & quietly observed the kitchen while waiting. I was already sick & crabby & slightly annoyed that I still had to wait for my soup but whatever, I knew their food was delicious & would make my nose run & clear my head.

I watched the cook pull my soup off the burner, toss in the ingredients & take a taste. Then he poured more coconut milk into the spoon he just took a taste from & stirred it into the pot & placed it back onto the burner.

I'm not naive. I worked in a hotel where I sat in the employee kitchen area & watched the guys cook. Gross shit happens. But I do not want to see it.

I turned to the waiter/owner & quietly hissed at him that if that was my soup I did not want it & whispered to him why. I could have made much more of a scene but I did not. There were all kinds of customers eating in my vicinity. He said he was so sorry, the guy was new & they would make me a new one. That was gonna add about 10 more minutes to my wait & I was over it.

I asked for a refund for the soup, which apparently was a problem & he said he would give me a discount the next time I came in. Uh-huh, I said, just refund the soup. I didn't say it to him & I'm still not convinced myself, but I'm not sure if I'm going back. Their Green Curry is so frigging good & I know the ladies work on that so I probably will, though.

Anyway, that's my story. I haven't told anyone this because I love this little restaurant & I don't want to give them a bad reputation but damn...do not reuse spoons ~ especially when you have an open kitchen.

Have a great day & feel well!

Buzzed & Blogging...

Alas, but it is not to be. At least not a lot. The hubby just cut me off.

I mean, let's be serious, I could keep drinking if I wanted, but it's all about how much of a hassle do I really want to deal with.

He said two is enough. Little does he know, I had three :)

Have a wonderful night & talk to you soon!

Must Pack, Need Cocktail...

I am so lazy sometimes.

I'm so excited for a little weekend getaway with the hubby & I can't even bring myself to pack.

Instead I'm goofing off on the computer, doing a little bit of actual work, checking Facebook & Perez & now here I am blogging.

I should really pack but my mind's not right.

I have to be in the mood to pick out what I need to take. Otherwise I end up with a huge suitcase of stuff I don't want to wear.

I think I'll just continue doing my laundry & laying it on the guest bed, which I really need to deal with, by the way. Then when the mood does strike me, after a couple of Vodka Diet Tonics, I can make a pile of stuff to consider taking.

I have to outfits for night & outfits for during the day. The days are easy. Tank tops & capri cargo pants & a hoody.

I don't know what to wear at night. I want to wear my black flat boots because we'll be walking a lot. And something low cut cuz you gotta work what you got.

It will be fun. Don't know if I'll write again before Sunday.

Although I say that now & I'll probably be buzzed blogging later tonight.

Good afternoon, good evening & good night!

The Competitive Spirit...

My son is sooooo competitive. He's not even 5 years old & I hear all the time how he's smarter than me, he faster than me, he's stronger than me.

Today I told him there were many things I could do that he & his Daddy couldn't do: I told him I could take one look at either of their faces & know when they're lying & a lot of the time I can even tell exactly what they're thinking just by looking at them. He thinks his Daddy knows a lot more about everything than I do & I try not to squash that belief either.

Many times I've asked him to quit being so competitive with me but I have not been specific. I don't want to kill his competitive spirit.

I have, however, been specific on several occasions so he understands that competition is not always good.

He has a friend that's a few weeks older than he is but is quite a bit smaller than he is & he mentioned to me how he was bigger. I explained to him that was not a nice thing to say & that his friend would never tell him that he was older than my son is. My son is sensitive about the few weeks age difference & his friend is sensitive about the size difference.

My son was comparing the size of our house to my parents' house, saying ours' was bigger, & the hubby & I did not think that was appropriate either. We explained to him that the size of someones house does not matter & that is something we don't talk about.

He learned that lesson because my parents were bringing him home one day & my Mom said to him "what a beautiful house you have" as they were pulling into the driveway. My son said, "ssshhh, Grandma, we don't talk about that."

It's a competitive world. How do you keep them prepared but not obnoxiously competitive?

I am competitive to an extent. I don't care if I win, I just have to be satisfied with my results. If someone has more than me or does better, that's not enough to upset me, but if I'm not achieving what I think I am capable of compared to them, then I hunker down & get it handled. To me, it's not about winning, it's about being satisfied.

I'm sort of past competition. A few of my friends would tell you I'm competitive, but only about silly things. I'm happy for others' success as long as I'm having success, too, or their success is not interfering with mine. Like at work, if someone was selling in my territory, oh I'd come un-fricking-done.

How do you foster the competitive spirit in a child but not help it take over?

It's an interesting dilemma I struggle with myself. It's like a wild horse. You want to ride it cuz it gets you there fast & fun but you don't want it to get out of control.

Not my best simile, but you know what I mean.

Don't we all want our kids to be winners?

(That will be another blogspot about parents that don't want their kids doing better than they have. My parents always wanted, as do my hubby & I, more success for their children than they had.)

Feed Your Frenzy...

This has been percolating in my mind for years. The past couple of weeks have really brought it to the forefront. I'll bounce around, as I often do, but I hope you find it an interesting idea.

I saw a Saturday Night Live with Jon Stewart hosting years & years ago & it's close to Halloween so I'll not use an original example, but a relevant one:

So let's pretend you're a dude that likes to fuck pumpkins.

You like the squishy, slimy seeds & that is what gets you off & that's what you think about & that's what you fantasize about.

Well you probably think you're a pretty odd character & I would completely agree. You're a fucking freak & you should feel strange & odd because you are. If that's your thing then, whatever, it's not hurting anyone but it is bizarre.

But I bet, & I swear I haven't tried it, but I bet if I went to google right now & spent 10-15 minutes searching, I could find a whole community of freaks just like that dude that's into pumpkins. And if I could find them then so could he.

And he wouldn't feel alone & strange any longer because he'd find companionship. He'd find people that shared his interest & people to discuss which pumpkins felt the best & what time of year was the best time, etc.

He could feed his frenzy.

I love the Internet. How many people have I reconnected with? How many people have I met? Too many to count & I would not change any of it for anything but I honestly think it lends credence to things that are best kept private.

An anonymous on-line community sometimes leads to real life, real fucked up behavior.

My court case ~ how difficult would it have been for that back woods hillbilly to find kiddie porn without the Internet? He might have had an inkling that he was a pervert but he could have better kept a lid on it. He'd of had to stick to Barely Legal magazines & the like & the world would have been a better place.

I'm not saying things are wrong. I'm not saying they're right. I think the more freedoms we all have the better we are. But we have to control ourselves. And sometimes the Internet makes it too easy to feed your frenzy.

One of my favorite thoughts I've ever had. That & C.B.

Have a great night!

Facebook Breathalizer...

I had the funniest conversation with a friend this morning. She mentioned that she did a little hammered Facebooking last night & that she was feeling funny about it today.

I completely understand & have been there myself. I think there should be a breathalyzer attached to Facebook. Like have it set up next to your keyboard & if you blow too high you are locked out.

I'm not suggesting it be .08 like to drive a car, but there should be a standard. Depending on your alcohol tolerance, whether you're a regular drunk or just occasional, I believe it should be somewhere between .12 & .18. Beyond that .18, you're comments & conversations are just gonna cause you regrets.

I should have a breathalyzer for my keyboard period. I have no business drunk blogging but occasionally I do it. Thank goodness for spell check!

What do you think?

The Jury Is In...

So, the Jury came back. As I said, I was an Alternate so I did not participate in the end of the trial. The Clerk called me today & knew I wanted to know the verdicts. She said Guilty on one count & hung on the other three.

From my post yesterday, it probably seemed like a civil trial. It wasn't. It was two counts lewd & lascivious with a child under 14, showing child under 14 obscene material & possession &/or control of child pornography.

Mark Wayne Mosley was found guilty on the fourth count. I verify that. I saw many of the photos found on his computer.

The other counts were hung. As they should have been if he wasn't found not guilty for reasonable doubt.

This whole case was horrible. This family was horrible. These were the biggest bunch of dirt bags I have ever seen.

Mark was the step Grandfather to the young boy & the step father of his Mom & step father-in-law of his Dad. They all seem to have been in these relationships for 12 years, so they were long term. And Mark & Peggy obviously gave a lot of money & assistance to Eric & Mary & their kids.

And apparantly the house & property in Whitmore had belonged to Peggy & Mary's Dad, who had died, & there was a belief by Eric that if something happened to Peggy the house & property should go to Mary & himself rather than to Mark. That seemed to cloud everything in the entire situation.

I said yesterday that no one was completely innocent & no one was completely guilty. I actually should have said that the truth always seems to end up being between the stories told. It just depends on which side it's closer to help figure out what happened.

We had to listen to testimony from a 10 year old boy. I'm sure something inappropriate may have happened, but the story was so jumbled, so influenced by outside motives, so tainted that I couldn't believe it.

I know if I press my son to really tell me the truth, I had damn sure better know what the truth is because if I don't, his four year old mind can get confused & then neither of us is sure.

This kid would have been more believable if his Dad hadn't been on the stand before him. If his Dad hadn't gotten into an altercation with his common-law wife's Mom's common-law husband. Hadn't fired a gun at him while living in a camper trailer on the Mom's property. Hadn't been a prior felon & arrested & convicted because of that incident with the gun, ammunition & the cultivation & sale of marijuana. He was the king dirt bag.

I did feel terrible for this kid & his little sister. They have no chance.

But the kid may have started with the truth but after the two years time span, 8 months since they filed the charges & 2 years since they'd lived on the property when the events were said to have occurred, the story had gotten mixed up. It had even seriously changed since the first police interview.

This kid's family was on SSI, they never worked & they apparently did not make their kids go to school regularly based on all the SARB letters they received. But they did grow & sell pot & likely meth stemming from the Dad's conviction from 2001.

The prosecutor did a really good job making me try to look past the family & focus on the boy's bravery for testifying with Mark in the room. I had tears in my eyes when he was up there. But some of his story just sounded made up. And it's hard to know what to believe.

I'm glad I was an alternate. I would have been one of the hold-outs for Not Guilty. But Not Guilty does not mean Innocent. Because the adults in this case were not innocent. The 10 year old was innocent. But he was tainted.

By his Dad. By the venom between his parents & his "grandparents."

This family is fucked for life. How can it ever heal?

What I said about privacy is relevant to the pictures found on Mark's computer. There were photos of thumbnails blown up that Mark had looked at on his computer two years ago. He didn't click on most of them so they were just thumbnail pictures of websites he had visited. He had viewed some of them so there was no way to discount that but he hadn't downloaded them. He had looked at them.

They were found by a Detective that specialized in computer forensics. That part of the case was fascinating. All of the photos were seized just from what he had viewed. So he didn't really control the pornography in his possession because he couldn't get back to it unless he revisited those websites, but it was still on his computer. He had viewed it. He admitted it. He admitted he did it for sexual gratification. He's a sick s.o.b. I think he'll be in jail for a while, as he should be. I think kiddie porn charges will get your ass kicked in prison, too, which is as it should be. He's still getting less than he deserves but as much as could be proven beyond a reasonable doubt.

I'm rambling, I know, but I'm rattled.

Let me know what you think. It was very interesting & upsetting & I'm a little changed.

I am very protective of my son already, but I will be even more so in the future.

Have a good night. Thanks for reading.

Had A Weird Week...

How do you spell weird? Is "i" before "e" or not?

I had jury duty this week.

It kind of rocked my world. Can't talk about it yet, but I will.

Made me realize that you have to be careful. That the things that you do are not private.

I had already realized other things. One of my very good friends, & a reader of this blog, will agree with me...she knows what I mean...

Her mother-in-law has sued several places & people for injuries, imagined or otherwise.

Has collected $75k or more for the effort.

I've told my friend her mother-in-law cannot come to my home for fear she will fling herself down on my driveway & sue me ~ point taken. Point agreed.

I'll write more of it next week.

I'm not taking sides.

As an alternate, I have no official opinion.

But I believe none of us are totally guilty. And none of us are truly innocent.

Baby Makin' Weather...

This kind of weather makes me want another baby. It always does. This time of year makes me want another baby. This is when babies should be born, in my opinion. My birthday's coming up, my brother's, my Mom's, my Mother-In-Law's, my son's.

I think it's because I was pregnant this time 5 years ago & my baby shower was on October 16th. I was really in the full swing of baby mode.

I don't think I'm going to have any more. I know my husband does not want any more. Although, let's face it, it isn't really up to him, now is it?! :)

I surprised him with the first one, which he absolutely adores & would not change for even a single second. But I don't think I'll surprise him again.

It will pass. I love our life now. The boy is so much fun & so wonderful to travel with. He plays really well by himself & he's so much fun to play with. His Grandparents love taking him whenever we want to travel or have a date night so...

Why rock the boat?

Because I loved being pregnant. I loved having a baby. I love seeing our child grow to represent the best & sometimes the worst in both of us.

But alas, one is enough. For the hubby anyway. For me, too, probably. I'm not sure how I would do with two. I feel like my hands are full enough right now & I still have plenty of time to keep them idle. What do they say about idle hands? Oh yes, they blog.

Time to schedule his procedure. Oh wait, I told him to handle it. That part is up to him so it probably won't happen. We'll see...

Monkey Write, Monkey Do...

I have to post a comment I made on Conquer the Monkey. The Monkey & I recognize that we have different readers so she doesn't mind when I copy her topics. I can't believe I haven't written about this one before!

She mentioned friendship break-ups ~ a topic I have endured personally many times. Happily one such break-up ended in reunification & the friendship is better than before. It's different, but the same. It's fantastic. We only needed 10 years to grow separately so we could grow back together.

My Monkey comment is below:

"I think with some friends you only have a certain time allotment with them & it just gets used up. Maybe you spend every waking moment with that person for 6 months & that's all the time that friendship was allowed.

I'm being glib but it is an interesting subject. I find that if a friend makes me feel bad again & again then eventually I have to conclude that there's something the matter with them, or that we don't bring out good things in each other & I gotta bounce.

These break-ups are sometimes more difficult than other break-ups because it's not always like a bandaid. You end it slow instead of just ripping it off & it's over. Can't wait to read what you write!"

Anyway, I liked the potential topic & my comment can count as a blog post. I use the time allotment reference quite seriously.

I lived with a friend in San Diego for 4 1/2 months. We were friends when we moved in together & by the end we were not. We didn't really have a falling out or anything & it didn't end badly. When we were moving out we just sort of nodded at each other & almost tipped our hats politely at each other & that was it. Finito. Best break-up I ever had.

We just used up our time allotment. No big deal.

Oh, & also, she suffered from C.B. It was a rather serious case.

She would become totally jealous if a mutual friend of ours called & wanted to talk to me instead of her, which always happened. And she would page her boyfriend & if he didn't call her back in 5 minutes she would page him 911 again & again. I don't think their break-up was quite as quick & clean.

In case you wondering, C.B. is a term I made up.

She suffers from Crazy Bitch.

Use it in a conversation to describe someone & it's the funniest thing ever. Nod your head, lower your voice & say "She suffers from C.B."

Only use it when absolutely appropriate though! Like, I don't know maybe for an example, umm let's see, perhaps if you're talking about your brother's ex-girlfriend/baby's mama.

Evolution of Beauty...

I think this video speaks for itself. It's from Dove. I'm so pleased I already use their Deoderant because I am loving their new campaign!

http://www.dove.us/?dl=/features/videos/default.aspx%7Ccp-documentid=7049579%7Cvideo-id=1&source=shareBlogger

Up, Over & Out...

Sometimes I have so many ideas in my head that I need to get down here that I jump all over the place. It's the way I work. Hell, it's the way I think.

Secretia's comment made me think of something which led to a great many other thoughts. I'll share.

Some people always seem old & some people always seem young.

Like my Great Aunt. I called my Mom tonight & asked her how old my Great Aunt was when I was born & she said she was about 48. So basically by the time I really start remembering her & putting characteristics to her she was almost 60. She's 86 now.

She has always seemed old to me. Whenever you ask how she's doing she kind of holds her back & groans "oh, I'm okay" or "as good as can be expected." That's what she's always said.

This is good in one respect because she's 86 & she seems exactly the same to me as she has for the past 20 years. This is bad because she has seemed like she was 86 for the last 20 years.

I asked my Mom if my Aunt had always been "crotchety." My Mom said oh you never saw her crotchety. She was always soft & kind with you. Now I don't know what my Mom thought I meant by the word, but I meant old & grumpy & crotchety. I think my Mom took the crotch word to infer something else.

I have always heard stories of this Aunt & her legendary fierceness & anger. She caught her husband in bed with her best friend early in their marriage & she made him pay for it his whole life. She was mean. Everyone was terrified of her.

I always stare in disbelief at this tiny little woman with the gruff voice, the cig hanging out of her mouth & marvel at how she ruled two generations of her siblings & her parents with an iron fist. Things got away from her with her own kid & his family. That's kinda when she needed it, too.

I asked my Mom if she used to be scared of her & my Mom said she was scared out of her mind. I asked my Mom if her Grandmother, who raised my Mom, had been scared of her & she said absolutely.

I mused that it was amazing to me that you could be afraid of your own child. She said it happens more often than you think so I asked her if she was scared of me.

She said "Hell No!" I love my Mom.

I'm just thinking that we all change on the outside & some of us change on the inside as we grow older. I hope I do both but I'll hope for more on the inside. I have room to improve.

I know I still feel like a teenager happy my parents are out of the house & will keep an ear bent for the garage door to open for the rest of my life. It keeps me in line. Now it's my husband's arrival I'm listening for but the idea's the same. I still feel like a kid.

Rambling I know but thanks for reading.

Have a great night!

Am I Old Yet?

Exactly when do the early thirties become the mid thirties become the late thirties?

I realize that at 36 I am in the mid & that in about three minutes I'm gonna be 37 & hope that's still the mid. I think 38 & 39 are the late thirties but I also think that 31-34 are the early.

Perhaps my calculations seem a bit off but I have never been the best at math & I don't want to smart it up now!

I am pondering this issue because I was watching Juno a few nights ago & found myself identifying with Juno more than anyone else. I am certainly more in the time frame of Jennifer Garner's character & closer in age & parenting experience to Juno's stepmom but I think of myself as a kid.

It's funny. I'm not immature. I'm quite mature. I run a household, am a semi-successful parent & wife & a decent employee.

I still feel like a kid. I can watch American Pie, 16 Candles, Breakfast Club, any classic high school movie & identify with the teenagers.

Am I strange? Am I the only one?

I will never understand Brenda's role as Samantha's Mom in 16 Candles. She had kids not much older than mine & kids much, much older than mine but I can't identify. I think she was older than 36 in that movie but she could have been younger. Who knows? I still feel eternally younger.

Maybe I don't want to grow up. Or maybe I just don't want to feel old.

So I won't.

In Case You Didn't Know...

I fucking love your comments. Secretia, Monkey, Anonyomouses. Please keep them coming.

I hate to admit it because it makes me feel weak, but your comments make me change my opinions.

Make me reconsider things.

I love it.

It's so easy to get stuck in your own way of thinking & not see beyond.

Thank you to each of you for making me see more.

Hugs & kisses to you all!

Have a great night!

Pick a Size & Stick It...

I just spent an hour in my closet. Hanging up all the clothes that were on the floor. Refolding the shirts & sweaters on the shelves. Putting the purses back into their silk pouches & shoving them up on the top shelf for later use.

My 3/4 of the decent sized walk-in closet is packed full & I haven't even put my laundry away yet, which is all the stuff I actually wear.

What the hell???

I just hung up all the shit I try on & don't wear because it's too small or too big or I don't like the way it looks that day. I should hang it up right after I try it on but I don't. I leave it on the floor. Lovely.

I also fluctuate with my weight quite a bit. I have wardrobes in about six different sizes. And I have lots of boxes in the garage with small clothes that are just not gonna happen, probably EVER again, & really big clothes which had better not happen, EVER again. I need to have a garage sale. (Please refer to previous blog post about helpful Mother-In-Law tips.)

My husband just has what he needs. It's so odd.

I keep all my clothes that are basic in style no matter how many years it's been since I fit into them. Of course if they're worn I toss them. If they're nice & they just don't fit any more then that's not their fault & they deserve to stick around until I am able to wear them again.

Someday I'm gonna be back to one of my ideal sizes. My first trip to Hawaii size or when I met my hubby size. Either two or three sizes smaller than I am now. Ok, maybe four, dammit.

I'm totally gonna put on a fashion show of high waisted red guess shorts & body suits. Of torn 501 Levi jeans & cutoffs. I can't wait.

And then I'll wonder why, oh why, have I packed this shit from one house to the next, year after year filling my garage & stuffing my closet.

I guess we all need to set goals :)

Have a great day!

Ask A Crack Ho...

No serious shit today. Today is a fun day. Oh & I should be working & cleaning my house but I am spending/wasting time on You Tube instead.

I'm posting two links that are seriously frigging funny & seriously frigging offensive. I stumbled on the Crack Ho series which led me to the other & totally laughed out loud a whole bunch!

They're offensive so don't tell me they're offensive. I already know it. If you don't like it, don't look. Skip the post if you don't like it. I just wanted to laugh.

I know my Fallon Friend will like them.

Lindsay Lohan at the end of the second video is fantastic.

Have a great day!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IcoJXJKKdc&feature=fvw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf6n6ChLsp0&NR=1

I Am Woman Hear Me Roar...

I just saw something on Facebook that made me stop to think about stuff.

I am guilty of the following stereotyping so I'm being critical of myself just as much, probably even more, than I'm being critical of others.

It was a Chinese Restaurant sign called "Young Dong Garden" and a comment made was "Is that where the Cougars hang out?"

It made me smile. Until I thought about it.

Why are there all these definitions for women & not such distinct & definite terms for men?

I know I have at least two male readers, sorry guys, I'm not blaming you. We do it to ourselves & each other just as much, if not more, than you do it to us.

An older woman dating a younger man is a cougar. A younger woman dating an older rich guy is a gold digger. I know there's lots of other references but these two are coming to mind.

I saw an SNL with a Cougar sketch & they used the term cub for the younger men dating the older women ~ but that term has not really caught on to the best of my knowledge.

Do we have a definition for older rich men dating younger gold diggers? I know a lot of things we could call them, & do call them behind their backs. But I don't believe there's an official term.

And a ten, fifteen, even twenty year age difference between a man & a woman is nothing if it's the man that's older. But switch those ages & it becomes something.

I don't watch the View. I have nothing against it. I just don't watch any daytime tv besides travel & food shows or discovery health. But once in a while I will pause Good Morning America too long & the View is on after it. And I'm lazy so if I'm in the office I don't change it.

This happened a few weeks ago & Michelle Pfeiffer was a guest. She just came out with a movie that was apparently about an older woman dating a younger man. She was asked about the cougar phenomenon & she explained that she did not approve of the term because it was derogatory to women. I liked her point of view when she was presenting it & it's sort of been ponging around in my mind.

Again, I'm quite guilty of using the cougar term. I have used it twice in the last two weeks. Both times I was using it admiringly toward older females with hot, younger men.

I meant it as a compliment. But I don't want to say it anymore. I'm not saying I won't use it, but I'll not be happy with myself when I do.

I took a Women's Health class at Chico State & the instructor told us about all kinds of terms in our language that had historical references denigrating women. The one that I always remember was "the rule of thumb." She told us that saying came from a law in 19th century England allowing a husband to beat his wife with a switch no wider than his thumb.

If you look it up now, there is question as to whether that is really true or a myth. But it's something that I was taught, that I remember, that I don't say.

What do you think?

Livin' on Fast Forward...

Is it strange that it's only Tuesday evening but I have my next few days so mapped out in my mind that I feel like tomorrow is practically over. That I'm actually all the way thru to Thursday evening & the next day's Friday?

Could this mean I need to focus more on work & not my weekends?

Nope.

You do what you have to do & right now it's thinking about the weekends.

Or as I've mentioned before, upcoming trips.

In fact, I just discovered that a great Hilton property is on Paradise Island in the Bahamas & we've already played on the beach right in front of it & it was wonderful. The hubby has a whole bunch of Hilton points so I feel another vacay coming up soon.

Hope you're having a great night!

My Big Dreams...

My life is pretty much in order. I struggle with my weight & with all sorts of various addictions, but pretty much I have it together these days ~ these years, really.

Next year, 2010, I am going to play in the World Series of Poker No Limit Women's Tournament. I've been thinking of it for years & I've made that decision & I'm pretty excited about it.

It'll cost about $1000 to enter & of course we'll have to stay in Las Vegas for a few days, but it falls around our anniversary so we usually take a trip anyway.

I must diet. There's a chance I may be on ESPN.

And I'll hopefully get to meet Jennifer Tilly, whom I adore. Loved her in Bound, The Getaway & as Gary Shandling's girlfriend in It's the Gary Shandling Show a long, long time ago.

I try to post something every day, although I know I don't always make it, & this is what I'm thinking of today.

Oh, & Food & Sex & Booze & Money :)

Have a great night!

Not a Personal Best, But Close...

In case anyone is interested, I did not quite make it the two weeks I had hoped for. I did quit drinking for 5 days & then eased back into it on Thursday evening. Oh well.

That's why I only share my goals here & not with the hubby because he doesn't believe in failure & would not let me fall off the wagon if he knew I was trying to stay on.

I'm still successfully cutting back though. It's not so much an alcoholic concern as it is a calorie concern. I'll keep updating on that front.

The Other California...

I'd like to do a White Trash California Episode of No Reservations.

There's an entire other California that people from all around the country don't know about. They think we're surfers & blondes with fake boobs & tans ~ and a few of us are but we're so much more.

We're from Oroville & Red Bluff & Yreka ~ oh my.

My hubby & I have sat outside the Circle K on 273 at Westwood Village & longed for a video camera just to record the humanity that wanders in & out of that store. The Moms spending $2.13 for gas & the rest of that hard earned 5 dollar bill on a pack of generic ciggies.

Nobody knows the trouble we've seen.

I dated a guy from San Francisco when I was 19. My family was way better off than his so the judgement was not passed on me, but when we went up 273 toward Gene's he said, yeah, this is what you expect from Redding ~ total white trash.

I didn't get it then. I get it now.

Be proud. Own it. Ignore it.

I ignore it. But I still plan on taking a video camera & making a documentary to send in to A & E called "The Other California."

Please recommend where else I should set up my data collection.

Have a great night!

What's Really on My Mind, FB?

Food, Sex, Booze & Money.

In no particular order, except Food is most always first.

I have wanted to use that as a status update but I'll refrain & put it here instead.

Have a great day!

Creative Reading & Creative Writing Spawn Creative Thinking...

The Philosopher was in my head tonight. I've included many of my favorites. All of which I can recite.

Hope you like them. If not, please ignore them. I'll talk more shit tomorrow, I promise.

I did leave out Poe but The Raven is way too long as is Annabelle Lee. I can recite a lot of both of them but not all of either of them. Eldorado will have to do:

Eldorado by Edgar Allan Poe

Gaily bedight,
A gallant knight,
In sunshine and in shadow,
Had journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of Eldorado.

But he grew old-
This knight so bold-
And o'er his heart a shadow
Fell as he found
No spot of ground
That looked like Eldorado.

And, as his strength
Failed him at length,
He met a pilgrim shadow-
"Shadow," said he,
"Where can it be-
This land of Eldorado?"

"Over the Mountains
Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
Ride, boldly ride,"
The shade replied-
"If you seek for Eldorado!"

Good Evening, friends.

And One More...

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

And Another...

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

And Another...

Jenny Kissed Me by James Henry Leigh Hunt

Jenny kissed me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,
Say that health and wealth have missed me,
Say I'm growing old, but add,
Jenny kissed me.

Another...

Walk Slowly by Adelaide Love

If you should go before me, dear, walk slowly
Down the ways of death, well-worn and wide,
For I would want to overtake you quickly
And seek the joumey's ending by your side.

I would be so forlorn not to descry you
Down some shining highroad when I came,
Walk slowly, dear, and often look behind you
And pause to hear if someone calls your name.

Poetry Tonight...

The Philosopher by Edna St. Vincent Millay

And what are you that, wanting you,
I should be kept awake
As many nights as there are days
With weeping for your sake?

And what are you that, missing you,
As many days as crawl
I should be listening to the wind
And staring at the wall?

I know a man that's a braver man
And twenty men as kind,
And what are you, that you should be
The one man in my mind?

Yet women's ways are witless ways,
As any sage will tell, --
And what am I, that I should love
So wisely and so well?

One of my favorite poems ever & I do love her bio.

What an interesting & talented woman.

Just a Thought...

While I was working, I had paused American Justice on A & E. I just unpaused it & skimmed through "A Murder in Greenwich: The Martha Moxley Story." I have seen it before.

It always reminds me of something my Dad says:

"Shit Walks & Money Talks."

Pearl Jam & Politics...

A Facebook friend of mine updated her status letting everyone know how much fun she had at a Pearl Jam concert last night.

I saw them a few years ago & the show was great until Eddie started spewing his political ideaology. Whether I agreed with him or not, I marveled at this fellow sharing his political opinions to a crowd of drunk & stoned people when by luck & timing he was not working at a Starbucks in Seattle undiscovered.

There are so many talented musicians in the world & so many people working hard to try & make it. Eddie is talented, absolutely, but I really think being in the right place at the right time has a lot to do with many of the performers that make it. Especially from that era of time & music in Seattle.

Say what you will about the luck & talent & hardwork & timing factors, but I just felt strange hearing politics at a Pearl Jam concert. At any concert, really. We're not in the sixties.

I didn't want to take away from the status update because I love to go to concerts & Pearl Jam was fun. However...

That's the main memory I have of the Pearl Jam concert. Oh, that & when they sang "Jeremy."

Feel free to disagree & share. I'm not above being wrong. It's just my opinion. I just didn't want to have this discussion on Facebook.

A Jagged Little Pill...

Headache's gone now but I had to cave.

No, I did not have a drink. I did, however, take one little tiny Vicodin & now I'm feeling much better. I had a beer drinking friend call me & talk to me & made me miss the booze so I took the Vike.

They've been in the house for six months, there were ten of them to start & now there are seven left so I think it's safe to say I don't abuse them. It did kill the headache quite nicely & helps me to enjoy my Diet Root beer from Trader Joe's much more.

I won't be able to take another tomorrow though, because that would go against my pill ethics, so I hope this headache does not return. It has felt like a sinus thing, however, rather than a no booze thing.

I really think I'm gonna make it two weeks this time. Although my hubby doesn't know that's my goal. I try not to define such things with him so I don't have to listen to him reprimand my failures. He'll be pleased if I go a few days. He thinks it's better for me.

I know this all makes me sound like I have a drinking problem. I had a long conversation about this today & I don't think that's the case.

I believe that I have a problem setting & keeping limits. The hubby can have a glass of wine & enjoy it & I figure if I'm gonna bother with a glass, I want to feel it. So I have three glasses, or four.

And then it really moves beyond the health benefit to the buzz effect. And if you have three glasses for a few nights then you need four to get the buzz effect. So if he opens a bottle & has a glass, then I tend to finish it & even open another. Lots of lip I take for that. Not good for me & expensive.

Anyway, if you know what I mean then you know what I mean. And if you don't, please don't worry about me because this is one thing I keep a handle on. I can't banish all the substances from my life: no booze, no cigarettes, no drugs. The booze must stay.

But it must stay on acceptable terms.

I'll totally get a quick buzz in two weeks. Now that's something to look forward to!

Squeaky Brakes...

Uh-oh. Today I have a terrible headache & I'm a little shaky. My hubby also has a headache & thinks we may be getting a cold but I'm afraid mine is alcohol withdrawal.

My friend told me today that when she quits drinking she misses the sugar from the alcohol so she eats cookies. She's a skinny bitch, by the way, so I'll try not to employ her tactic. But the sugar absence could be causing my headache & shakiness.

Yes, let's go with that theory.

I find comfort where I can because any official alcohol withdrawal symptoms will cause my hubby to cut me off. He doesn't usually read this blog so I could just suffer in silence but I won't. I have to bitch & so he already knows I'm not feeling quite right.

Maybe a cold isn't sounding so bad right now...haaachoooo!

Have a great day!

Alcoholic Brake-Check...

Again. We'll try for the whole two weeks this trip. Although I never make it.

The first day was easy because I was so hung over from Saturday festivities that alcohol sounds like the most appalling thing in the world right now. In fact, it's Monday & I am still hung over.

I hate getting older. You'd think I'd at least be smarter by now, but I'm not.

No alcohol withdrawal symptoms yet. So far so good.

Wish me luck & have a great week :)

Poetry Tonight...

When I was a child,
I saw the world through innocent eyes.
I believed in all that was good.
I was frightened by all that was evil.
As I've grown older I've discovered:
The two converge & become one.
I've embraced them both to learn:
Nothing.
I don't believe in demons.
I've never found the saints.
We each choose our time to leave
The age of innocence.

Why Ya Gotta Bug Me?!

My son bugs me for the things he can't do.

My husband bugs me for the things he does & does not do.

I'm sure my son will eventually bug me that way, too.

Time Well Spent...

My husband told me something a long time ago about the glass ceiling. I was complaining about something I saw on the news that could have been perceived as discriminatory against a female executive & I told him how unfair it was.

He said, "Perhaps, but there are legitimate things that hold women back & the biggest reason is growing right now in your belly."

So true. I hate to admit it, but so true. Today, as on any given day, I can give several examples.

I work from home & my husband takes my son to preschool. But I have to get him up, get him fed, help him get his teeth brushed, help him get dressed, help him get all of his necessary shit together.

My husband gets ready & watches the news & feeds himself.

Quite true that a lot of the time I don't have to leave my house to go to work so if I don't get out of my pajamas until 10am it's ok. But I'm not sure the distribution of labor would be any different if I did work out of our home.

I start work at 7-7:30am, which means my boss & customers will begin calling by then & sometimes even earlier. This morning my son had his shirt on backward, his socks on wrong & his shoes weren't even untied yet alone on. My husband was almost ready & my boss called. I kept getting the kid dressed, turned his shirt around, untied & tied his shoes, kissed the top of his head & slipped into the office all while my boss was discussing marketing strategies & asking if I'd opened the e-mail he sent me just seconds before.

Sigh...

I got my work done this morning, I did some household errands, got more work done this afternoon, picked my son up at preschool, I came home. I took several more work calls & met several deadlines, had a lot left I could have done, but instead I spent an hour playing Mancala with my son.

He won.

Occasionally I have to explain to my boss that I have to get off the phone or switch to my cell because I have to pick my kid up by 2:30pm. He understands.

Sort of.

He knows I'm a Mom but he doesn't want to know about it. He treats me like an equal, like a confidant, like a strategizing partner. I love that. He has a lot invested in me, he has high expectations & I'm an exceptional earner. We both love that.

But I am a Mom. He has two kids & he's a Dad.

But it's different.

That baby growing in my belly really did change everything.

If Even the Rich & Famous Can't Beat It...

What the hell chance do the rest of us have?!

In the last few weeks & months, several famous battles have been lost against cancer. I'm thinking of Farrah Fawcett, Edward Kennedy & today, Patrick Swayze.

It's so scary to me to think about the amount of money that was spent & the access to incredible medicine & cancer fighting strategies these very wealthy individuals had & they still lost the battle.

When it comes to our health, it just goes to show, we are all mere mortals.

I know there are conspiracy theories that the government &/or the pharmaceutical companies already have the cure for cancer & they don't want to release it because of the money cancer generates.

I am not big into conspiracy theories. I don't think secrets can be kept for long unless the secrets disappear.

Like if aliens really did land here in the fifties or whenever & they actually did have the alien bodies than those bodies must have been destroyed. And those bodies must have been seen by only a very small number of people or else somebody would have blabbed.

It's not that I don't believe in aliens, I just don't believe in people.

But to rebuff the government cancer cure conspiracy, I truly think that if they had it then they would have deployed the good stuff for Teddy.

Unless of course they're using his death to push through the health care reform package in his memory?! Conspiracy leads to conspiracy to more conspiracy...

Anyway, Rest In Peace Patrick Swayze. Even in your most serious roles, you still made me smile. "Via Con Dios."

Good Morning America, How Are You?!...

Thanks to Serena & Kanye, Good Morning America is good. We are all so fickle!

Personal opinion time:

I think Serena was very aggressive & inappropriate but I do not think there would be such a fuss being made if it had been a male player or if it had been Maria Sharapova.

Should she apologize? Probably, but so should that line judge for over officiating & making a bad call at such a crucial time in the match. Serena would have done better just to move on & finish the match & complain about it later but I understand her frustration. Although I think some of her personal frustration with the match was misdirected at someone else.

So, all in all, not cool, but I still love her.

Kanye West is a delusional idiot & an ass-hole & he should really be banned from ever being in front of a live camera again.

I don't use the term "douche bag", but if I did I think this would be the perfect instance to do so.

Send me your thoughts cuz it was an interesting weekend.

Have a great day!

Messin' With My Mind...

Lots of things mess with my mind. This is & will be a continuing topic.

The Scientology folks have a lot of money because they hire the most beautiful models/actors & produce the most mesmerizing commercials for the "religion".

I don't really understand it & I must admit that a great deal of my Scientology knowledge has come from only two sources.

The first was a case in Florida where a Scientologist was left to die without medical treatment & there was evidence that she had been fed on by rats while she was still alive & it was quite horrible. I believe there were lawsuits based on the lack of medical intervention used & accepted by the study of Scientology. I read a lot on it a few years ago & found it disturbing.

The second source has been South Park. Those were some very interesting episodes during Chef's final days. Very interesting indeed. And the "Come Out of the Closet" episode featuring Tom Cruise & John Travolta prior to Chef's death was also interesting because it led to such a reaction from Scientologists.

It was all several years ago & my memory is fuzzy so I'll probably revisit this topic, but my point is that the Scientology "The answer's out there" commercials kind of freak me out.

But even I must admit that they are beautiful & haunting & if that's what I could look like if only I was a Scientologist well then, sign me up. All hail Xenu!

My husband thinks I might get hate mail for this one but as always:

Your thoughts?!

Good Morning, America...Or is it?

I don't really talk politics. I think it but I don't speak it. Sometimes I don't even think it.

I always watch Good Morning America. Sometimes the human interest crap is too painful & I pause the tv, go about my business then return to fast forward to the helpful tips they offer. Cute idea last week to put marshmallows in the bottom of a sugar cone to keep it from leaking & then you're left with a yummy surprise at the end.

Anyway, this morning I did not watch it at all. I saw enough hubbub this morning about the President's speech last night on our own local news. I only watched a little, but I can't recall Democrats ever heckling George Bush. I say this because it's nothing I can recall. I'm certainly not saying it didn't happen. I'm just saying it wasn't played over & over & over again by the media with demands for apologies. I'm not saying an apology isn't necessary, because it was pretty rude, but the way it's portrayed by the media is really focusing a lot of attention on the action.

I feel a little guilty about my lack of interest in the current political environment. I know there's a problem with health care, but I don't have it. None of my friends seem to have it. Some of my in-laws have it but they're the variety that don't work full-time & had babies when they were really young with different men that don't work at all. Or adults that don't hold steady jobs because of substance abuse difficulties.

I have total respect & understanding for people & families out there busting their asses & are falling through the cracks of making too much to qualify for public & not enough to afford private. I just don't know if I have those people in my world. Or if I do they're too proud & independent to let me know. My personal experience is with people that are either part-time or unemployed.

I know that right after we got married my husband got laid off & we had to purchase private insurance & it was hard then. I'm sure it's even harder & more expensive now.

I feel like a pretty well-informed, involved citizen & I'm concerned with my political apathy the last year or so. I just feel so removed. The financial numbers of everything are so huge that I really can't get my mind around the funding. Or where all the money goes.

I can't say it's a Democratic thing or a Republican thing...I'm just not interested right now. And I feel bad. But not bad enough to get involved. I think the Wally Herger thing last month was my last straw. And all the idiots that send letters into the Record Searchlight with their opinions.

I like my opinions, & your opinions, much better. We just don't make the effort to write to the paper. We type here. I wouldn't want my name to be published in the RS with any sort of opinion because judging from some of the letters I read, I would be frightened of offending either radical side.

Anyway, that's my post for today. It was rambling but I realized this afternoon that I did miss my Good Morning America. I'll watch it next week. They'll have moved on to some new drama & maybe it will be one I'll be interested in.

Have a great day...

I am full of empathy. But I am also full of apathy.

Food & TV, My Favorite Combo...

I love the Food Network. I've been watching it for years. I got hooked when I was pregnant & my friend visited from out of state & started me on 30 Minute Meals. I am not a Rachel Ray fan anymore, by any means, but I did think she was fabulous when she first started that show.

It was the oddest thing to watch her grow younger. She started out with smart cardigans, a Mom haircut wearing slacks & ended up with the big arm movements, almost shouting "Yummo" & "EVOO" every other second & some seriously streaked, highlighted hair & hipster jeans showing her sorta sad cleavage.

They took her in a totally different direction. Funny thing about "celebrities" & "personalities" ~ you never really know who they really actually are.

Anyway, now I watch Chopped & Iron Chef America & Throwdown. I'm also diggin Chefs vs. City & I still love the Barefoot Contessa but the rest of the shows kinda bug me. Giada's ok, too.

My friend suggested having a Chopped party & I think that is a fabulous idea. The only problem I envision is a throwdown for more space on the cook top. I mean, I would require several burners at a time. Who has more than one cook top? Two ovens, perhaps, but only one cook top.

Maybe we could take turns with the same picnic basket items & while one is cooking the other can be serving the judges, etc. I am going to do it if she doesn't but I don't want to steal her idea.

Doesn't that sound fun?

Also, you might think Sex & Food would be a better combo, but I am effed up enough in the eating department. I never, ever combine those two :)

Double also, my friend Amy (Lesbian Amy as she liked to be called) was hanging out with me right before I popped & Everyday Italian came on. Amy loved it & asked "What's her name again?" & I said "Giada" & she said "Even her name is hot." A favorite memory.

Perez Says...

I just read the following quote on Perez Hilton:

"Welcome to mid-life crisis, where the cars get older, but the woman get much younger."

He used it in reference to Sean Penn (puke my guts out ~ haven't liked him since Spicoli) dating a 25 year old Sports Illustrated swimsuit model after his recent split from his wife.

I like the quote.

Finding Facebook Funny...

Funny ha ha & funny strange.

I love Facebook. But I'm also a little afraid of it.

So if I ignore your Farm Friends whatever, don't drink your martini or cup of coffee & don't return your hug, please don't think it's because I don't love you ~ I do.

I am just afraid of accepting all the applications that come with those things. I love taking FB quizzes, but each one scares me a little bit when I have to click "allow".

Also, I've heard the Farm Stuff & Mafia Wars are addictive. And we all know I don't need any more frigging addictions, thank you very much.

On the other hand, I love the people connections on FB. My very best friend on FB, & you know who you are my frequent PI contributor, is someone I barely remember from high school. And might I just add that thank goodness we did not know each other earlier in life because we could have definitely been disruptive to each other's success :)

This all comes to mind today because I sent a friend request to someone that I've always found interesting but am honestly a little hesitant about. I believe we're both alpha females & sometimes it's difficult for the same type to get along well. I feel like when we're around each other we sniff & growl deep in our throats but have never attacked. She accepted my friend request so I'm happy. The more strong, successful friends you can have the better. Especially better on your side than on someone else's.

I also love getting friend requests from people I've only met a few times or from someone I haven't seen in a long time. It always comes as such a pleasant surprise. I've only turned down three requests ever. One from a guy I didn't know, one from an Avon representative & one from a real estate agent. Although of the latter two I do admire their marketing techniques.

Hope you're having a great Labor Day weekend. I know mine has been fun & relaxing.

Busted Dreams...

The last few nights I've been having dreams about old boyfriends. When this happens it's the oddest thing because it will come at a time when my marriage is fantastic, when my life is wonderful, when I'm happy.

Some are kinda naughty dreams & some are really kinda naughty dreams. None of them are innocent. Should I feel guilty?

When my hubby starts murmuring or moaning in his sleep I totally listen for any names or any references & I am totally prepared to kick his ass. I mean, I get jealous & annoyed when he seems to be dreaming about something pleasant that may or may not include me.

However, I totally enjoy my dreams & don't feel guilty about them. I like them. But I do feel that perhaps I should feel guilty.

Sometimes the double standard has just got to work in our favor, don't you think? We all know that it certainly doesn't most of the time!

Thoughts?!

My Favorite Proverb...

I learned this Spanish Proverb from a co-worker a long time ago. She was from Mexico & she fiercely hated her Mother-In-Law. She placed a curse on her by burying her picture in a glass jar of salt in her backyard ~ real voodoo stuff. I loved it but I would not want anyone to do that to me.

I actually do love my Mother-In-Law even though she pisses me off from time to time ~ I know I've got it pretty good.

I only have a son so I am gonna be nice as hell to whomever he hooks up with because I truly believe the following:

"Las piernas son más fuertes que los brazos."

"The legs are stronger than the arms."

A special thanks to my special translator!

What the Mother-In-Law?!

The things my Mother-in-Law says to me sometimes are so passive aggressive it's astonishing.

We had a lovely few hours together this afternoon. Even though I told her that we would be picking up the kid from pre-school at 2:30pm so she could get her around 2pm & she showed up at 1:20pm, no big deal. I'm used to the early habit. The house was picked up, I was made up, no problems.

We chatted while she read the paper, we went & got the kid. Perfect.

My hubby came home. We went for a museum outing with the four of us. Lovely.

Then on the drive home when we pulled into the neighborhood, two blocks from our house, she suggested that we borrow their pressure washer for the outside our house. I asked why & she laughed & said because the front door is so dirty.

Then when we walked into the house through the garage she stopped by a row of boxes by the side of my car & commented on all the stuff I had. That perhaps I should have a yard sale. She had been in that garage four times already today & not mentioned a word.

Now I wish I was the bigger person here & could say I just let it roll, but I didn't. I returned the banter. I said that I would never go to her house into her garage & comment on the clutter there so why does she feel the need to do it to me when she knows my pack rat habits are a sore spot with the hubby. Of course I said it sweetly, smiling & even laughing, but my eyes were narrowed.

I went into the office & worked for a half hour & left her alone with her son & her grandson. Then I came out & walked her out the front door. Oh my, I said, the front door is dirty, thanks for pointing that out. The outside of the house is your son's responsibility so I'm sure he'll take care of it now.

I really try to be a sweet daughter-in-law, but do not fuck with me. I am a Scorpio. Funny thing is, however, so is she.

Tell me your Mother-In-Law stories cuz you know I'm gonna keep sharing mine.

Anywhere But Here...

I find myself wishing my time away. I love my life, my family, my friends. Everything.

But I tend to focus on upcoming trips or upcoming events instead of being present all the time.

I love doing research for trips I'm going to take & picking places to eat, where to stay, what to see. I love it!

I have a great job but I alternate between working & pricing trips to Hawaii or Mexico. With the kid, without the kid. Trips to the Bahamas. Wherever.

True, I usually end up taking these trips & I feel confident I find the best deal & the best place to stay but it takes a lot of time to come up with these plans.

How much money is my time really worth? I don't take time away from my family for this stuff, it's really just from work.

I work from home & if I wasn't tapping away at the computer between calls & e-mails I would be watching tv, which incidentally is paused on the Travel Channel at this very second. Or I'd get up & make a snack, which is an on-going issue in my weight battle. I could also spend the time shopping on-line. That would really piss off my hubby.

So I fantasize about vacations. Examine kids programs at hotels & would I really leave my child in one in Mexico? Probably not. The next family vacation will likely be to Maui in the spring. But only if I can find a really good deal.

I also mess mess around on Facebook but that leaves a trail of evidence. I'm not so easy to spot on Expedia, Travelocity or Cheap Hotels.

Have a great day...

Too Full To...

I have to be careful when I go out on a date with my hubby because if I eat too much or drink too much I will just pass out & then it ruins date night for him.

He knows that especially if I eat too much, there is no sex in his immediate future.

Am I the only one this happens to?

Sometimes I share too much information, but this is a conversation I always have in my mind. Maybe I'll just attack him before I even get ready & then I can get as full & as drunk as I want!

Hope everyone has a great weekend...

Do You Feel Lucky?

Luck seems to come up as a topic in my life quite frequently.

"You're so lucky." "She's so lucky." "I'm so unlucky."

Do you believe in luck?

I feel I'm fortunate but I believe most success is based on good decisions.

Just today my friend was telling me that she was offended by something her single, thirty-something friend said to her: "You were so lucky to meet your husband when you were younger."

It made me wonder: Was I lucky to meet my husband at a relatively young age? Yes. Did I realize what a perfect find he was for me & make the right decision to hold on to him & marry him? Yes.

I believe luck & timing are interchangeable. My former boss, a woman I both admire & adore, told me again & again that timing is everything.

You can make a poor decision at an innocuous time & there are no serious repercussions. You go home, you wake up the next day, you feel bad, you learn a lesson.

But you can make the same poor decision at a bad time & it spirals. Things go from bad to worse. You wake up the next day & have to continue dealing with that poor decision & its consequences & that can seem like bad luck.

Did you get unlucky or did you make a poor decision that led to bad luck?

Just make a good decision to begin with & the luck will come. Although with good decisions, it's not really luck :)