So Little to Write, So Much Time...

Wait, switch that...

I have a lot to say tonight. And let's face it...I've had a couple of cocktails so I'm in the mood to type. The office door's closed & I'm locked in. 'Til I knock out, that is.

First & foremost: My office is clean. I had a friend come over & do the deed. She said she'd be my bitch anytime I needed her & poof, there she was. She's not my bitch, or any one's. But anyone, including me, would be lucky to have her. Thanks for the help. And though it didn't cost nothin' it was worth way more than I coulda paid. You are the best! I think I'll keep you.

I went to a hubby's niece's kid's birthday party last night. This niece, who I helped raise & loved & spoiled is 25 years old. She has a daughter that just turned seven & a son that is 2 1/2. She breaks our hearts. The kids are with two different dads & neither are good providers. Oh, wait, they don't provide at all. The second dad got arrested a few nights ago, hit & run, resisting, tazed, false identity. Awesome.

This girl, our niece, I adore her, but she breaks my heart. We would have paid for college & she is amazing & she could have done anything. And here she lives in Anderson. Poor. Working so hard to barely make it. I slipped her a couple hundred bucks & I feel like I'm enabling but I can't not do something.

She never asks for it but it kinda seems like she never appreciates it. Almost expected. But it's not like she's going out & partying with the money I give her. She's just getting by.

I don't know. About this situation, I never have.

She's a lost cause. And yet I still try to fund the journey. But not a lot. I could do a lot more but really how much is my responsibility? I struggle with this situation.

The hubby would give much more financial assistance if it wasn't for my saying no. However, the assistance would have to go through me ~ meaning from my hand to hers. He would never do it himself.

I just can't be more generous than I am. I think we choose our paths & we follow them. Until we change them.

And third, on this Friday the Thirteenth: I miss my Tarot cards.

Before I got pregnant, I read my Tarot cards every week. I have hundreds of sheets of readings & I miss them.

Since pregnancy, I have not touched them. And I miss them.

I can't do it anymore but I want to. I'm going to start reading them again in the New Year. That's my plan.

We'll see if I follow through. But I usually do. It's a Scorpio thing. We have an amazing will power, when we choose to use it. I love you, too, my Scorpio Friend.

Also, I know of a very important person in my life that's had a painful ending happen today & a new beginning will start tomorrow. Be strong my friend. You're a muse to me & I can't wait until we meet again. Sleep tight, wherever it may be. You are amazing.

Have a great night!