The Other Shoe...

I like black shoes. I have a whole bunch of them.

So not what I was going to write about but it's what popped into my head.

I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. My life is going amazingly well right now. Work, personal, everything is fantastic. Of course I still need to lose weight but if I didn't have that then I really wouldn't be me now would I?

I don't even know what waiting for the other shoe to drop means. I'll look it up real quick & have an answer. Hold on & I'll be back in a second...

It means waiting for something bad to happen which you are expecting.

It comes from a famous music hall joke about a man who is woken by the drunk upstairs dropping his shoe. He can't get back to sleep because he is waiting for the second crash on the ceiling. Eventually he shouts upstairs "For Heavens sake, drop the other shoe!"

OR

The origin most likely was known in the 1950's. A British sitcom depicted an individual who lived in an apartment beneath a man who worked nights. The person in the lower apartment would be sound asleep when the tenant of the upper apartment came home. The tenant in the upper apartment would sit on the edge of the bed to take his shoes off. The first shoe hit the floor with a loud bang, awakening the sleeping tenant in the lower apartment. The groggy neighbor would remain awake until he heard the other shoe drop. The tenant in the upper apartment would remember that he had a sleeping neighbor below, and take the second shoe off and carefully place it on the floor, making no noise. The groggy neighbor would then yell, "For God's sake, drop the other shoe!"

And you know I like the first one the best.

I always expect things to go wrong. I'm always prepared for them. I hate surprises almost all of the time. Occasionally they're ok but I really like to be prepared.

I love the Fall but this time of year brings so many changes already that when everything is going so wonderfully is the very time when I get the most nervous about bad things happening.

Nothing in particular, just really, how long can things go well? Something has to happen to mess it all up eventually. And it will. But right now I'm just trying to stay in my moments of happiness. Not worrying about some impending things that have to happen. Life happens. Laughter happens. Love happens. Death happens.

But right now, I am so happy & life is going so well I'll just try to enjoy it...

Hope it's going well for you, too!

Love Lasts...

This evening someone told me they loved me. That they always will. What an amazing thing to hear. To feel. To understand.

And I told them that love always lasts. At the very least as an echo.

I believe that. I think once you love someone it's always a part of you. Not necessarily a large part but an important part. Every time I've ever loved someone it's changed me. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.

I always appreciate the change love brings. The experience. Even if it doesn't remain in the forefront or perhaps you can't even remember it the echo of the change is still in you.

I have to believe that some part of love lingers.

When I see couples get divorced & hate each other after they've split I try to imagine that they once loved each other enough to get married. Or enough to build a family together.

The venom I've seen between exes makes it hard to believe. But I have to believe.

I realize that sometimes relative strangers have kids together through chance or accident but when people were married & had families & shared love I can't believe it ever completely goes away.

Damaged as I am, oh & I am fucking damaged, I have to believe that something remains.

"Love always lasts. At the very least as an echo..."

Have a wonderful night ~ missed writing this thing. Maybe I'll start up again...