Up, Over & Out...

Sometimes I have so many ideas in my head that I need to get down here that I jump all over the place. It's the way I work. Hell, it's the way I think.

Secretia's comment made me think of something which led to a great many other thoughts. I'll share.

Some people always seem old & some people always seem young.

Like my Great Aunt. I called my Mom tonight & asked her how old my Great Aunt was when I was born & she said she was about 48. So basically by the time I really start remembering her & putting characteristics to her she was almost 60. She's 86 now.

She has always seemed old to me. Whenever you ask how she's doing she kind of holds her back & groans "oh, I'm okay" or "as good as can be expected." That's what she's always said.

This is good in one respect because she's 86 & she seems exactly the same to me as she has for the past 20 years. This is bad because she has seemed like she was 86 for the last 20 years.

I asked my Mom if my Aunt had always been "crotchety." My Mom said oh you never saw her crotchety. She was always soft & kind with you. Now I don't know what my Mom thought I meant by the word, but I meant old & grumpy & crotchety. I think my Mom took the crotch word to infer something else.

I have always heard stories of this Aunt & her legendary fierceness & anger. She caught her husband in bed with her best friend early in their marriage & she made him pay for it his whole life. She was mean. Everyone was terrified of her.

I always stare in disbelief at this tiny little woman with the gruff voice, the cig hanging out of her mouth & marvel at how she ruled two generations of her siblings & her parents with an iron fist. Things got away from her with her own kid & his family. That's kinda when she needed it, too.

I asked my Mom if she used to be scared of her & my Mom said she was scared out of her mind. I asked my Mom if her Grandmother, who raised my Mom, had been scared of her & she said absolutely.

I mused that it was amazing to me that you could be afraid of your own child. She said it happens more often than you think so I asked her if she was scared of me.

She said "Hell No!" I love my Mom.

I'm just thinking that we all change on the outside & some of us change on the inside as we grow older. I hope I do both but I'll hope for more on the inside. I have room to improve.

I know I still feel like a teenager happy my parents are out of the house & will keep an ear bent for the garage door to open for the rest of my life. It keeps me in line. Now it's my husband's arrival I'm listening for but the idea's the same. I still feel like a kid.

Rambling I know but thanks for reading.

Have a great night!