What the Mother-In-Law?!

The things my Mother-in-Law says to me sometimes are so passive aggressive it's astonishing.

We had a lovely few hours together this afternoon. Even though I told her that we would be picking up the kid from pre-school at 2:30pm so she could get her around 2pm & she showed up at 1:20pm, no big deal. I'm used to the early habit. The house was picked up, I was made up, no problems.

We chatted while she read the paper, we went & got the kid. Perfect.

My hubby came home. We went for a museum outing with the four of us. Lovely.

Then on the drive home when we pulled into the neighborhood, two blocks from our house, she suggested that we borrow their pressure washer for the outside our house. I asked why & she laughed & said because the front door is so dirty.

Then when we walked into the house through the garage she stopped by a row of boxes by the side of my car & commented on all the stuff I had. That perhaps I should have a yard sale. She had been in that garage four times already today & not mentioned a word.

Now I wish I was the bigger person here & could say I just let it roll, but I didn't. I returned the banter. I said that I would never go to her house into her garage & comment on the clutter there so why does she feel the need to do it to me when she knows my pack rat habits are a sore spot with the hubby. Of course I said it sweetly, smiling & even laughing, but my eyes were narrowed.

I went into the office & worked for a half hour & left her alone with her son & her grandson. Then I came out & walked her out the front door. Oh my, I said, the front door is dirty, thanks for pointing that out. The outside of the house is your son's responsibility so I'm sure he'll take care of it now.

I really try to be a sweet daughter-in-law, but do not fuck with me. I am a Scorpio. Funny thing is, however, so is she.

Tell me your Mother-In-Law stories cuz you know I'm gonna keep sharing mine.

Anywhere But Here...

I find myself wishing my time away. I love my life, my family, my friends. Everything.

But I tend to focus on upcoming trips or upcoming events instead of being present all the time.

I love doing research for trips I'm going to take & picking places to eat, where to stay, what to see. I love it!

I have a great job but I alternate between working & pricing trips to Hawaii or Mexico. With the kid, without the kid. Trips to the Bahamas. Wherever.

True, I usually end up taking these trips & I feel confident I find the best deal & the best place to stay but it takes a lot of time to come up with these plans.

How much money is my time really worth? I don't take time away from my family for this stuff, it's really just from work.

I work from home & if I wasn't tapping away at the computer between calls & e-mails I would be watching tv, which incidentally is paused on the Travel Channel at this very second. Or I'd get up & make a snack, which is an on-going issue in my weight battle. I could also spend the time shopping on-line. That would really piss off my hubby.

So I fantasize about vacations. Examine kids programs at hotels & would I really leave my child in one in Mexico? Probably not. The next family vacation will likely be to Maui in the spring. But only if I can find a really good deal.

I also mess mess around on Facebook but that leaves a trail of evidence. I'm not so easy to spot on Expedia, Travelocity or Cheap Hotels.

Have a great day...

Too Full To...

I have to be careful when I go out on a date with my hubby because if I eat too much or drink too much I will just pass out & then it ruins date night for him.

He knows that especially if I eat too much, there is no sex in his immediate future.

Am I the only one this happens to?

Sometimes I share too much information, but this is a conversation I always have in my mind. Maybe I'll just attack him before I even get ready & then I can get as full & as drunk as I want!

Hope everyone has a great weekend...

Do You Feel Lucky?

Luck seems to come up as a topic in my life quite frequently.

"You're so lucky." "She's so lucky." "I'm so unlucky."

Do you believe in luck?

I feel I'm fortunate but I believe most success is based on good decisions.

Just today my friend was telling me that she was offended by something her single, thirty-something friend said to her: "You were so lucky to meet your husband when you were younger."

It made me wonder: Was I lucky to meet my husband at a relatively young age? Yes. Did I realize what a perfect find he was for me & make the right decision to hold on to him & marry him? Yes.

I believe luck & timing are interchangeable. My former boss, a woman I both admire & adore, told me again & again that timing is everything.

You can make a poor decision at an innocuous time & there are no serious repercussions. You go home, you wake up the next day, you feel bad, you learn a lesson.

But you can make the same poor decision at a bad time & it spirals. Things go from bad to worse. You wake up the next day & have to continue dealing with that poor decision & its consequences & that can seem like bad luck.

Did you get unlucky or did you make a poor decision that led to bad luck?

Just make a good decision to begin with & the luck will come. Although with good decisions, it's not really luck :)

I Actually LOL'd ~ You Tube Funny...

This was on my front page of You Tube & the title, "Don't Call Me Fat", caught my attention so I decided to check it out. Now another friggin thing I'm gonna be addicted to ~ great.

It's outrageous & offensive & I love it. The commentator guy is an absolute cutie, too.

Let me know what you think!

"Cocaine" is my answer :) Just kidding! It's actually "Money"!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2oLoBpFmho&feature=popular

Facebook Note I Will Never Write!

My friend had the most outrageous idea for a note on Facebook. I won't do it but it made me suck in my breath & then totally shriek with shock ~ & please believe that it is difficult to shock me.

Anyway, she wanted to start the following note: How many of your Facebook friends have you slept with?

I was wild when I was younger. Ok, I'm still totally wild but in different ways. I've been married for a long time & have always been faithful so this was all a lifetime ago. Actually, several lifetimes since I've been like six or seven distinct & different people since my teens & early twenties.

Perhaps I would write a note about how many Facebook friends I've kissed/made-out with ~ that's something I could more easily own up to.

Thoughts?

How Do I Love Me, Let Me Count The Ways...

When I'm felling blue, I try to think about the things I do well. At least the things that I try to do well.

I'm a good wife, a lot of the time.

I'm a good Mom, even more of the time.

I'm fiercely loyal to my friends & family.

I try to be better at all these things.

It's so much easier to find where I fall short but I really try to focus on the good.

Try it yourself & please share.

Do you keep a nice house? Are you there to help your friends? Do you go to bed with your partner when you'd rather do your toes & they never even know? These are all things & times we put others before ourselves & we should be recognized for them. If not by others then at least by ourselves.

This week is almost over & I will be feeling much better come Monday.

Again, please share! I love to know I'm not all alone. I already know I'm crazy :)

Mother In-Law Etiquette...

When your Mother-In-Law is criticizing your husband's sibling & you totally agree & think she's not even close to being tough enough, exactly how much are you allowed to say?

At what point do you offend her for bagging on her child? Even if you're totally right & you do manage to hold back from saying how bad it really is.

My husband would tell me just to keep my mouth shut & my instincts tell me to totally go off. I managed to fall somewhere between & got my point across but didn't say anything I regret now.

And I was even able to throw in an extra jab that I'd been wanting to say about a 25 year old grandchild behaving in the same irresponsible way.

I'm so going to hell but at least I'll have a clear conscience.

What do you think?

Man Type Memory...

I remember when I was younger & my Mom was talking to her friends about the type of men they like. They were discussing tall, dark, handsome, etc. The conversation eventually came to "Suzy." When asked what type of man she preferred, she said "I like 'em short, bald & a little bit crazy." Perfect, because that's what she had.

The above is one of my favorite memories, & favorite quotes, ever. We don't have to like conventions. In fact, I find it much more satisfying to like what's not conventional.

I like mine "tall, bald & a little bit dangerous." Worked out well for me, too.

School Haze...

We're taking the kid to school in the morning & then the hubby will take me out to breakfast. It's our first day of school routine.

I know I seem all tough & happy that he's going back to school, but it is a little troubling to send your child out into the world without being there to protect them like you want to.

On the other hand, dang I'm glad he'll be out of the house more :)

I'll be back to my funny, cynical self after I'm through with the back to school tears.

Do you know & understand both sides?

My Favorite Cartoon ~ Ever!

My hubby sent this to me & I love it!

I love my husband, but dang...

sometimes he fucking drives me crazy.

I really do love this guy. We have been married for a long time & although I don't believe in the whole soul mate thing (I have control of my destiny by making choices that will lead me to my destiny, whole other blogspot, I'll get to it later) I completely believe that he is the very best person for me. He has given me THE child I was meant to parent & I really, really love him. I even like him most of the time.

However, when he is out of town for ONE night & comes home, he gets on my nerves. We just get out of sync & it's totally my fault. I believe that I miss him, I'm totally sweet & loving to him on the phone but when he gets home, I'm annoyed.

Now when he's gone for two nights, I'm so happy & pleasant when he comes home. I do actually miss him instead of just thinking that I miss him. I have enough time to myself & the opportunity to realize that I do not want to be a single parent. We are totally in sync because we're both glad that he's home.

You would think he would learn & try to arrange it to be gone for two nights instead of one. Although I'm not sure he realizes what's up. I have only recently begun to notice that I am distinctly grouchy when he comes home from an overnight as opposed to a two or three night stay.

Actually, three is sometimes too much & I may become resentful when he's gone that long which is much more dangerous to him than grouchy. I am such a pain in the ass to be married to ~ poor guy.

Am I the only one that's this crazy?

I Almost Didn't Post This, It's Just Rambling...

As previously mentioned, I watched Obsessed on A & E on Monday & it was frightening!

It made me think of a show I saw on TLC many months ago about this lady who lived in San Francisco in a tiny apartment that was so full it was unbelievable. She had to sleep in a huddled ball on the floor because of all the stacks & shelves full of organized stuff. At least she had a case of double OCD so she kept it neat instead of having it all look like garbage everywhere.

She was such a sad, lonely case that it just broke my heart. When she left the apartment she had to take three full backpacks of stuff just to take the bus to her therapy. She was close to being evicted. So sad.

There was another woman that put it into terms I could truly understand. She was talking about her need to go to thrift shops, that she couldn't pass by one without going in, & when she was there she found pieces of herself. This sewing machine is for the lady that likes to do crafts. This dish is for the lady that likes to entertain her friends.

Of course she could never do those things because she couldn't have anyone visit & she didn't have space to sew. Her story was the most troubling because she had two teenage sons living with her & her stuff.

The woman in San Francisco lived in a nice house with her apartment in the front & looking normal from the street. Inside was quite a different story. The other woman's house gave a glimpse of what was happening inside as seems to happen with hoarders that have yards & driveways.

After I saw the show on TLC I freaked out & looked up the signs & symptoms of hoarding based on my tendency towards clutter. I am absolutely, positively not even on the scale of record keeping for hoarding. It made me feel better but it made me feel sadder for the people that are measured on that scale.

Most of the time Obsessed frightens me & reminds me to recognize that it's a slippery slope for all of us. But the way the hoarders live just breaks my heart.

My whole take on the situation, is that you just never know. I try not to judge people from the outside looking in because you just never know.

I still hear that woman talking about finding pieces of herself ~ it haunts me.

Hooray for the Babysitter!

Earlier in the summer I paid our babysitter for two full days of watching the kid & I only needed her for one day. She was thrilled to get the day off but had already taken my check.

She's a wonderful girl heading off to college & she would have insisted on returning half the money. But do I want that money? Hell, no. I want the babysitting. So when she called last night after coming back from her month-long dance program to see if I needed her I had the unexpected thrill of having a babysitter today.

Today is a wonderful day. My husband is out of town. My kid has been watched & expertly cared for all day & is now swimming with the babysitter at her house. How could things get any better?

I went shopping this morning. I made a lovely salad for lunch. Oh, and school starts next week ~ hell yeah! Sorry to all the teachers already back this week but thank you for taking such good care of our kiddos.

I hope you're having a wonderful day, too!

Question: Does it make me a bad Mom that I love having someone else watch & entertain my kid, even when I'm home?!

Messin' With My Mind...

Ok, so many things mess with my mind ~ many people mess with it. But I am bugged when the television tries to do it & it's totally obvious.

Although I'm quite sure it does it all the time & mostly I just don't notice.

Anyway, last night on Obsessed they showed a whole episode on this guy that was a crazy, compulsive hoarder. It was interesting & terrifying & I'm glad I had it on dvr so I could fast forward through some of the overwhelmingly uncomfortable parts.

All through the show they kept advertising about the new A & E series called Hoarders or something similar. Not very subtle. It's like the old spin-offs where you wonder why the sitcom is traveling off on some odd tangent with a non-main character & then bam...that character has a new sitcom.

The thing that really annoyed me, & which I was reminded of last night, was the advertising done by vaccine manufacturers.

I didn't realize it the first time but I knew something was up when seemingly PSAs kept running about the "did you know that ovarian cancer is caused by a virus? I'm going to tell my Mom, my sister, my friend..."

Then bam...out come the Gardasil Vaccination advertisements. Scare tactics.

Then there were the meningitis quasi-PSAs. Same thing. Scare 'em then offer them a cure.

Just a rant that's ponged around in my mind so I wanted to share.

Any others I'm missing? Anything totally obvious that they did & I didn't notice? Please share!

A Full Day of Bad Eating...

So today my nutritional intake is going to be somewhat amusing & I will not even attempt to estimate the calories.

For breakfast I had a Salmon Salad & Tomato sandwich with cream cheese on protein bread. I started out so well.

However, I knew we were having friends over this evening & not only would be consuming large quantities of alcohol but we would also be picking up Thai food for dinner for the adults ~ Scooby Doo Mac-n-Cheese for the kiddos.

When I get Thai food I do not mess around. I'll get a large order of Green Curry Chicken & I will eat it all. Plus I will probably eat a few Potato Curry Puff appetizers.

So when it was requested by my hubby that I procure lunch at noon, what did I do? I called in an order to Bartel's for two giant cheeseburgers & two fries with four sauces. The hubby has been working in the yard all morning so it's not so bad for him & he'll order some healthy, spicy version of Thai seafood, veggies & noodles.

But for me, however, my day has been spent goofing off on the computer & watching the cooking channel. If I manage to vacuum, that will be the full extent of my exercise for the day.

I spoke to my friend that will be visiting this evening & she said that she does it differently ~ she knows she's eating Thai curry this evening so she's eating healthy all day to save up for it.

Which is better & which is worse?

I'm so back on my diet tomorrow!

Philosophical Differences

I've had two interesting conversations today about the need to communicate in relationships and how important, and difficult, that communication can be.

First of all, men and women seem to communicate in very different ways. Men want to acknowledge something once, solve it, then move on. Women, in my estimation, want to visit a topic over & over.

I'll give an example of my own: In the first year of my marriage, well over a decade ago, my husband had to travel to Fresno on Sunday evening & did not return home until Thursday or Friday each week. I suspected that something inappropriate had happened down there and I asked him. I happen to be very good, almost amazing, at knowing when my husband is lying. He finds it very annoying but acknowledges that why would I keep asking him something when I always know when he's lying.

Anyway, he told me that nothing had happened & patiently answered all of my questions. As he still does when every 6 months or so I ask, completely out of nowhere, did you cheat on me when you were working in Fresno?!

I visit the topic every so often, as I do most topics. I get the same answer I've always gotten in the same believable way it's always been given, & then we move on. He really doesn't get annoyed like I half expect him to because he knows that I need to revisit again & again.

Today, I heard the same revelations from two women about the importance of communication, & if there's a breakdown in communication & we, as women, are left to our imaginations, we can really whack out.

I'm comforted to know that it's not just me but I sincerely hope it's not all of us.

Thanks to my two friends today for sharing their stories. Food for thought.

The Hubby Approves

Last night the hubby looked at our blog. He likes it & said it was very pretty.

He just glanced at it because he says it's a chick thing, as evidenced by the pink. He did, however, read the entry about him & confirmed that he does always love me even when I want to smash him in the face. What a sweetie.

I'm very lucky, I know, & I hope you all have your own wonderful relationships :)

Pet Peeves....Typos

Typos. I make them all the time but I go back & try to correct them.

I was just reading Perez Hilton & his blog is full of typos. It drives me crazy.

He wrote "it's just a manor of time".

That beeyatch gets paid mucho deniro for ranting & raving & he can't afford someone to check his spelling, extra words, etc.

I'll still keep reading it. It's a sickness I happen to have & actually one of my sicknesses I enjoy.

I know admitting I hate typos opens the door to being judged so if you see typos on here, pleeeeez let me know!

Also, are there other ladies that read Perez or are there only a few of us "this age" that are stuck in the tween mindset?

Nutritionally, Let Us Look At My Day...

7am Protein Bar 150 Calories
12pm Taco Bell Bean Burrito w/2 Packets of Mild Salsa 370 Calories
Throughout the Day 4 Cups of Coffee & 4 Glasses of Water
5pm Large Vodka Tonic 200 Calories
6pm Large Vodka Tonic 200 Calories
7pm Final Large Vodka Tonic 200 Calories
Eventually I plan to eat a large tomato with fresh basil & then knock out ~ 33 Calories.

I am out of Diet Tonic & that really pisses me off!

Somebody got something better? And by better I mean worse & more amusing?!

Please share!

To Be Continued...

My Mom always told me that the only difference between crazy & eccentric is money.

Deep Thoughts by Me...

I've always found that how I look has a lot more to do with how I feel than how I look.

Not So Deep Thoughts...

Where have all the eyebrows gone, long-time passing?

Where have all the eyebrows gone, long-time ago?

Where have all the eyebrows gone? Gone to tweezers every one.

When will they ever learn, when will they everrrr learn?

Why oh why do we pluck the hell out of our eyebrows in our youth? We pay for it today. Any suggestions?

Thanks ~ loved it & keep 'em coming!

Facebook Funnies

Why Didn't You?!

Have you ever noticed that almost every photo of every thinnish girl we went to high school with shows much larger chests than previously worn?

Miss you dreadfully, really haven't known who to talk to this week so I've just been mumbling to myself.
March 6 at 5:53pm

Thanks for the message ~ loved it & keep 'em coming!

I'm Narcissistic & So Am I

I've had a strange few days. My life, at least my work life, has been in a bit of turmoil ~ or at least I thought it was.

Anyway, I thought I was having problems with my boss. He faxed me something late on Friday night that he really should have discussed with me. I was all in an uproar all weekend & then this morning I was even planning an exit strategy to start my own business when I found out that there's something serious going on with his family. Like life & death stuff that makes everything else seem so trivial.

So I had to shift from anger to guilt to total sadness & hoping for the very best possible outcome for him & his family.

That's a lot of emotions & it really made me think about me. That Narcissus again.

Why do I always think everything is about me? When someone doesn't call me back or answer my e-mail immediately my first thought is that I did something wrong. I never stop to consider that maybe something is going on with them.

Does that make me a narcissistic bitch?

And the final narcissistic question, is it just me?

Or are there others out there, too?

After Sunday Comes Monday

Ok, I fell off the wagon on Friday night. I had a terrible late afternoon at work & my boss is quite thoughtless to set me up for an angry weekend. Anyway, I had three cocktails. Then Saturday night, although I wasn't as upset as on Friday, I had two Blue Moons, one Smirnoff Ice & a very medium glass of red wine over the course of four hours.

I feel like I proved that I could go for five days without drinking & not develop any signs of alcohol withdrawal. My hubby even got me the first cocktail so I'll say that he's supportive rather than say he's an enabler.

At any rate, I hope tomorrow will be a better day with work.

We'll see how I do without booze this week. Cheers!