Been Lagging...

Obviously, by my lack of posts.

It's not just this. It's all my extra curriculars.

I just had to review about 19 pages of People of Walmart to catch up. It's much better in small doses but I can't miss stuff.

I must say, I saw something disturbing on POW. There was lots that was disturbing, true, but there was a hefty, semi-unattractive white woman with a shirt that said "Fart Now Loading...90% Complete." That would be a gross shirt on anyone: male, female, kid, whatever. But as a woman, I can't really even fathom owning a shirt like that, let alone wearing it in public.

I did have to double check & make sure it wasn't a picture of me bending over & picking up a coin from under my cart. It wasn't. I rarely wear slippers & pajama bottoms out in public, except to grab the newspaper from my driveway, but otherwise, it could have been me. And I don't currently have a preggo belly, of course :)

And I am afraid to even try to catch up on Perez Hilton. That MoFo is so prolific that if you skip a day it takes at least an hour to read all his new posts.

I've been working on some Christmas projects for my parents from my son & my niece. It has taken way more time & effort then I had intended. And I still have two more to finish. And I've been working at my J-O-B quite a lot for this time of year. Which is good, I suppose, but cutting into my just for fun stuff.

Thanksgiving was fabulous this year. Last year the hubby's sister brought a homeless cracked out lady to our house & she flipped out so anything was going to be a significant improvement. Don't even get me started on that story. Sometime I'll share, cuz it becomes more amusing with time, but it was bad. And I'm pretty tolerant & accepting of everyone, but let me tell you, it was not fucking cool.

Anyway, this Thanksgiving was lovely. It was just family. About twenty in all. My family & the hubby's family. I did almost all of the cooking & my Mom & my Aunt did almost all of the cleaning up so the day was perfection. Except I could never quite catch a buzz, no matter how much champagne I drank. Otherwise, just perfect.

Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving, too, & are enjoying this long weekend.

Have a great night!

Two Things...

My boss told me today that he was proud of me. That's a pretty rare & unusual thing for him to say & I didn't quite know how to react.

I continued enthusiasticly describing my sales plan & that I really think that the success I'm having will generate more sales, etc.

It was shocking & I'm still kind of all warm & fuzzy about it but I would never let him know that. Can't act like a girl...must be an equal. But really, a squeal of delight would not have been inappropriate for how happy he made me.

Moving on.

Not only does the hubby benefit from my success financially, he also benefits in other ways, too:

The His & Her KY Jelly sux. It's totally mentholated, which is quite surprising & somewhat disturbing. It didn't do anything additionally like the advertising suggested & it didn't seem to work as well as the traditional KY for its practical purpose. And it cost almost $17 at Walmart.

But sex is like pizza. Even just ok pizza is still pizza :)

That being said, it's been a pretty good few days.

Hope you're having a great night!

Today Rocks!

Actually, it was yesterday that kicked some major ass but today is the residual effect.

I work on commission. I think I'm switching to salary plus commission next year but right now, it's 100% commission. I made two enormous sales yesterday & I am done working for the rest of this month. And next.

Just kidding. The hubby says if I could just do this every week then he would retire & blah blah blah. That's what he always says. It's never enough for that one. Actually, he just pushes me & always thinks I can do more, do better, work harder. And me, well I always think an "A" is enough. There's no need to get an "A+".

I took a class with the hubby one time. It was a Cultural Anthropology class that I needed to graduate. I had taken it once before & got an incomplete or something similar so I needed to fix it for my transcripts. He's weird & he took it with me for fun.

He got like 116% in the class. I got 103%. We both got an "A". It looked no different when the grades were published. But he's an over-achiever. Heaven help our child if he's an under-achiever because it will be a long life for him :)

And me, I'm lazy. But I still manage to do well. Which is why I'm ecstatic today & just spent $400 at Walmart & Costco. And I will not have to take the shit from the hubby that would usually accompany the indulgence of my shopping habit.

I try not to take anything for granted. I'll keep plugging along knowing I'm fortunate to be employed. Same for the hubby. Counting my blessings. But it did feel good today to shop.

Have a wonderful day!

How To Be, Insensitive...

I am very sensitive. I hate it. It's one of the most detestable things I find in myself. I wish my feelings were not hurt so easily. But they are. And when I'm angry or sad, you can pretty much count on how I'm going to react. But hurt me, & I'm a maniac. It's not an attractive quality in me & I wish I could change it.

I'm trying to hold things inside more. For some time I told people when they had hurt me & why but I'm getting past that. I'm also trying not to hold grudges as much. Yeah right. Like that'll work. But I'm trying.

Everything's not always about me & I shouldn't take things so personally. Although sometimes it's so hard not to.

Do you get your feelings hurt easily? Do you hate feeling left out or excluded? Do you wonder why people you care about lie to you just to save your feelings which only ends up hurting worse when you find out what they lied about?

Oh well. Being mad takes a lot of energy so I won't be. Being hurt takes no energy at all because you just are or you aren't. Nothing to work out or focus on or think about.

I'm doing fine today. If I would have written about this yesterday, not so much.

In fact, I feel much better just writing about it. Thanks for reading.

And yes, I do occasionally suffer from C.B. Who doesn't??!

So Little to Write, So Much Time...

Wait, switch that...

I have a lot to say tonight. And let's face it...I've had a couple of cocktails so I'm in the mood to type. The office door's closed & I'm locked in. 'Til I knock out, that is.

First & foremost: My office is clean. I had a friend come over & do the deed. She said she'd be my bitch anytime I needed her & poof, there she was. She's not my bitch, or any one's. But anyone, including me, would be lucky to have her. Thanks for the help. And though it didn't cost nothin' it was worth way more than I coulda paid. You are the best! I think I'll keep you.

I went to a hubby's niece's kid's birthday party last night. This niece, who I helped raise & loved & spoiled is 25 years old. She has a daughter that just turned seven & a son that is 2 1/2. She breaks our hearts. The kids are with two different dads & neither are good providers. Oh, wait, they don't provide at all. The second dad got arrested a few nights ago, hit & run, resisting, tazed, false identity. Awesome.

This girl, our niece, I adore her, but she breaks my heart. We would have paid for college & she is amazing & she could have done anything. And here she lives in Anderson. Poor. Working so hard to barely make it. I slipped her a couple hundred bucks & I feel like I'm enabling but I can't not do something.

She never asks for it but it kinda seems like she never appreciates it. Almost expected. But it's not like she's going out & partying with the money I give her. She's just getting by.

I don't know. About this situation, I never have.

She's a lost cause. And yet I still try to fund the journey. But not a lot. I could do a lot more but really how much is my responsibility? I struggle with this situation.

The hubby would give much more financial assistance if it wasn't for my saying no. However, the assistance would have to go through me ~ meaning from my hand to hers. He would never do it himself.

I just can't be more generous than I am. I think we choose our paths & we follow them. Until we change them.

And third, on this Friday the Thirteenth: I miss my Tarot cards.

Before I got pregnant, I read my Tarot cards every week. I have hundreds of sheets of readings & I miss them.

Since pregnancy, I have not touched them. And I miss them.

I can't do it anymore but I want to. I'm going to start reading them again in the New Year. That's my plan.

We'll see if I follow through. But I usually do. It's a Scorpio thing. We have an amazing will power, when we choose to use it. I love you, too, my Scorpio Friend.

Also, I know of a very important person in my life that's had a painful ending happen today & a new beginning will start tomorrow. Be strong my friend. You're a muse to me & I can't wait until we meet again. Sleep tight, wherever it may be. You are amazing.

Have a great night!

A Poem By Me...

The irony is,
I lack self-control.
Ironic it was,
From the wind to the troll.

The smiling troll,
Replied with a sigh,
"The bed that we make,
Is the bed where we lie."



Have a great night!

Messy Boozeday Tuesday...

Tomorrow is Veteran's Day ~ no work, at least my customers aren't working ~ & no school for the kid.

I will be having a cocktail or two this evening. Finally feel like drinking again. It's nice to get a buzz on two glasses of wine or beer now instead of four.

My office is still a disaster. I am gonna have to get it together soon. The hubby is leaving town tomorrow until Friday & if I don't have the office floor picked up by the time he gets home I think he'll be annoyed.

He has a desk in here, too. And he's a neat freak. How did we ever end up together & how do we get along so well when we are such opposites?

He doesn't work from home like I do, however, so it's really my office. The messy space we share that truly drives him crazy is our closet. I try to keep it clean. It just doesn't happen. It'll be clean for a week or so & then it falls spectacularly apart.

Also, I need to clean out the garage. I have enough clothes to donate out there to outfit the Duggar family for 5 years.

Obviously, this is blog distraction office avoidance. If I don't turn around I don't have to see the mess.

My son just walked by, tiptoed in over piles of paper & said "Geez, Mom, why's it so messy in here?!"

I told him to stay out of my office if he's going to complain about it. I mean, really, how much shit do I have to take from a four year old?!

I blame his father.

But without my neat freak boys you probably wouldn't be able to find me under my considerable piles of paper, ten different sizes of wardrobes, fifty pair of flip-flops & too many boxes of Christmas decorations to count.

It's for the best I have them ~ in so many ways.

Have a great night!

Organized Schmorganized...

For work today I had to find a piece of paper with a quoted $ amount. I hate companies that fax me shit instead of e-mailing it. If they e-mail it to me, I know where it is. I just print it out for proof or I forward it.

I'm a pack rat. It's not like I'm not going to have something I need. It's just likely going to take me a little bit of time to find it.

So today, I needed this piece of paper from August. We were overcharged & we're not paying & I needed to prove that I was quoted $490 instead of the $780 they were charging us.

No problem. Just give me a half an hour & I'll get it to you.

So then, I get this wild hair up my butt that I'm gonna organize my office. It's that time of year. My son's birthday party is in a few weeks, I do Thanksgiving at the house for all the family & then my friend & I throw a holiday bash here for lots of people.

It's time.

I stack about 1200 sheets of paper on the floor in about six enormous piles. I get down two boxes full of hanging files to make updated ones & sit down fully intending to get organized while I search for this elusive piece of paper from August.

I go to the first pile & file two things into the new files I've made & then there's the quote.

It's the third fucking piece of paper I look at & I lose all motivation.

I fax it to our corporate office. Job done.

Except now my office looks like a tornado has hit it & I just don't want to fix it. Seriously, it looks like one of those houses on hoarders.

I think I'm going to offer to pay my super organized friend $100 to come over & go through all my stuff, ask me where each thing should go & then have her put it there.

That's what I did when setting up my son's nursery. I had a motivated friend come over, she volunteered, & I sat leaned against the wall on a pillow & she set up everything. It was awesome.

I think not being pregnant & it being for work, though, it's gonna take some cold hard cash to get somebody to do it for me.

Oh well. I think it will be worth it :)

At least the mess is behind me when I'm goofing off on the computer. But I can't drink too much tonight or I will totally break my neck trying to get out of this room.

Have a great night!

It's All Relative...

I am sick. I swear I have a reverse self-image problem.

I think I'm all that. I remember when I gained 50 plus pounds in the last couple of years I was miserable. I really was miserable, on the way up.

Well, now that I've lost almost 40 of that 50 I think I'm looking so good. When I was on the way up I hated it & the fat jeans I had to buy I'm now thrilled to be squeezing my getting smaller butt into.

It's all relative.

The hubby & I are planning a trip to Mexico this spring with a few of his friends & their wives. I love them all but they are all skinny fucking bitches. I say that in the most affectionate way, ladies. You know I adore you.

And there I'll be. In my tankini top & board shorts. They'll be looking amazing in their bikinis. Even if I don't eat until May, I'll still be in board shorts. The tankini top will just be a little more revealing.

And I'll feel great. I'll feel just as pretty as they are. I'll be a little envious & totally tell them about it to their faces but it won't bother me a bit. It never occurs to me to feel bad about myself. It just gives me focus.

But it has not always been thus. I don't remember my internal dialog from last year but I know it was hateful & full of self-criticism.

And I will say, quite honestly, if it was a year ago & I was still wearing that 40+ pounds then this trip would not be happening. Because the only way I could have quieted the screaming self-protests in my head back then would have been Xanax. And why waste a Xanax on a real issue when it's in fact something meant to be savored & enjoyed :)

It's all relative.

Have a great night!

Steady vs Binge...

"I have a blog topic for ya...

Is it better to not drink all week and binge or drink every night but not as much as you would if you had waited all week?

Personally I feel better in the morning if I just drink every night than binge.

Is that bad? LOL!!

Plus if I drink all week I'm less likely to make a drunk ass of myself than if I binged."

This topic was sent to me & I love, love, love it.

My answer is two-part:

I tend to drink at least some almost every night & still manage to binge & make an ass out of myself :)

Is that bad????!!!

Thanks for the post & please share your thoughts on the subject!