I have to post a comment I made on Conquer the Monkey. The Monkey & I recognize that we have different readers so she doesn't mind when I copy her topics. I can't believe I haven't written about this one before!
She mentioned friendship break-ups ~ a topic I have endured personally many times. Happily one such break-up ended in reunification & the friendship is better than before. It's different, but the same. It's fantastic. We only needed 10 years to grow separately so we could grow back together.
My Monkey comment is below:
"I think with some friends you only have a certain time allotment with them & it just gets used up. Maybe you spend every waking moment with that person for 6 months & that's all the time that friendship was allowed.
I'm being glib but it is an interesting subject. I find that if a friend makes me feel bad again & again then eventually I have to conclude that there's something the matter with them, or that we don't bring out good things in each other & I gotta bounce.
These break-ups are sometimes more difficult than other break-ups because it's not always like a bandaid. You end it slow instead of just ripping it off & it's over. Can't wait to read what you write!"
Anyway, I liked the potential topic & my comment can count as a blog post. I use the time allotment reference quite seriously.
I lived with a friend in San Diego for 4 1/2 months. We were friends when we moved in together & by the end we were not. We didn't really have a falling out or anything & it didn't end badly. When we were moving out we just sort of nodded at each other & almost tipped our hats politely at each other & that was it. Finito. Best break-up I ever had.
We just used up our time allotment. No big deal.
Oh, & also, she suffered from C.B. It was a rather serious case.
She would become totally jealous if a mutual friend of ours called & wanted to talk to me instead of her, which always happened. And she would page her boyfriend & if he didn't call her back in 5 minutes she would page him 911 again & again. I don't think their break-up was quite as quick & clean.
In case you wondering, C.B. is a term I made up.
She suffers from Crazy Bitch.
Use it in a conversation to describe someone & it's the funniest thing ever. Nod your head, lower your voice & say "She suffers from C.B."
Only use it when absolutely appropriate though! Like, I don't know maybe for an example, umm let's see, perhaps if you're talking about your brother's ex-girlfriend/baby's mama.
That's an interesting discussion. Once I hated this person for a long time and then we ended up working at different jobs and I didn't see her for a few years. Then she was rehired and we became friends over a period of a couple weeks. Turns out she didn't know I had ever disliked her. I like her now.
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Friendship breakups can be awful for that exact reason.... it's rarely discussed... it just happens usually slowly and painfully. I too had a CB in my life in college. She was jealous like you described and couldn't speak good English so it was funny when she got mad because you would hear this high pitched nonsense. Cracks me up thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteI felt bad, I thought you meant TB, but CB is much better.
ReplyDeleteso has anyone had the "super duper fun" friend, who seems fun, and likes to do everything you like to do, everything. even when you suggest really stupid things, they say "let's do it" and it ends up costing you money (for a tow truck). you live together, drink together, hang out together, super duper fun, the most fun person you have ever known....
and by the end of 5 months you are EXHAUSTED and can hardly stand the sound of that person's voice. they just keep going and going. even when they are tired, they just keep talking. to the point where you can't even say anything because if you do it may come out as "shut up". when they have to move out you are so happy you can hardly stand it. but then, you also know, that's it. anyone else?
Great spin off on Conquering the Monkey's post. My list of real friends has gone down by half in the last few years. Life's too short to hang with drama queens, users and negative downers.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, commenting and following. I'm following you too.
I liked how you mentioned the 'slow break-up'. What about the spin-off of that? What about the friend that you are still friends with simply because you were childhood friends and don't really have a 'reason' for breaking up? For example....I have this friend whom I haven't seen in like a hundred years it feels like. But every year I am compelled to call them on their birthday. I sit there PRAYING as the phone is ringing that I get their VM because...I'd really rather not talk to them. I have nothing in common with them except the fact that we share ancient history together. But then again...I don't have a real story or reason as to why I don't want to or shouldn't be friends with them. such a quandry....
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