Why So Quiet?

I think the reason I'm more quiet now is because my son is so loud all the time & I am seriously allergic to little boy noise.

(But I do seriously yell my head off at soccer games!)

All the banging & the booming & the running trains & the crashes. Now when my hubby & I have a date night I am quiet in the car. We totally chat at dinner ~ we still have great conversations ~ but I'm quiet in the car.

A lot of the time I don't even like the radio on. When I drive alone I like it on, I love to sing loudly to fun music. But when it's just us a lot of the time I like it quiet.

I think we used to have a lot more silence in our lives than we realized. And now those opportunities are much less frequent so I appreciate the few that we have.

We talk on the phone 10 times a day & we're chattery then. I'm just not the chatterer that I used to be. Although my friends would tell you I am, my hubby would not.

He's even more sensitive to the boy's loud noises than I am so I would think he would like our quiet rides. But he worries there's something wrong with me.

I think when I drive I have to pay attention to the road & when he drives I can totally zone out & just think or not think. He always laughs at me because it will appear that I'm watching TV next to him but when he asks me about something that was just on I frequently have to tell him that I didn't see it because I wasn't paying attention. I just zone out in the direction of the television.

Things always change. That's one thing I can always count on. I'll probably change a thousand times more before we're done with our 50+ year relationship. "God willing & the creeks don't rise" as my Grandfather always said.

My hubby is just a "fixer". If he thinks something is wrong he wants to identify the problem & fix it. I don't think there is a problem so there's nothing to fix. So that creates a problem for him. Vicious circle.

Have a happy Sunday ~ I know I will!

The Sound of Silence...

Hello Darkness My Old Friend, I'd Like to Talk With You Again...

I seriously used to be a chatter box.

My hubby was silent.

It worked for us & now it doesn't.

Somehow, I caught his silence & we just don't chat as much anymore. Or it's a total effort on my part if we do because he has always been quiet.

He misses my chattering. I don't. Although I do miss our conversations that I guess I initiated.

How do you get past the sound of silence? Tonight he said that he was afraid in a few years our morning nods to each other would imply our entire day ~ plans with the kid, after school arrangements & dinner.

Interesting...

How does a marriage survive the silence? I'll keep you posted because ours absolutely will.

Have a great night!

Seems Like I'm Running Bad...

Lately I just have not had it together like I usually do.

I'll use a poker reference & say that I'm just kinda running bad right now.

And that's not just to say I'm running bad in poker, which I am, but I'm also running bad in my life.

My marriage is still happy & my family is still healthy so my complaints are not life shattering. But they're still quite real.

My job slows down this time of year. It's pretty scary. I still have money coming in from past sales but I'm making very few new sales to pad the front. In a few months I won't be making hardly any money. It happens each year but it still always freaks me out.

I have plumped out a little bit recently & my complexion has gone to shit. I think I can pinpoint both of those things to a birth control pill switch, which I've since quit & improvements can already be seen, but still it's so frigging annoying.

And I'm just not quite myself. I'm trying to be cheerful & outgoing but I'm just not feeling it. I'm just kinda crabby. Even more than the usual few days a month.

But I know it all will improve. It always does. I so appreciate this outlet, even if nobody reads it, I feel better just launching it into the internet atmosphere. And if you do read it, thanks for listening. And if you're running bad I hope it gets better for you, too.

Have a great night!

Hair All About It...

I like bald guys, obviously if you know my hubby, but Tim McGraw is only hot in a cowboy hat.

But I think I'd feel the same way if he had a full, natural, gorgeous head of hair. It's the hat. It must be the hat.

And I don't like long hair on guys in real life but I love it on certain singers:

Kid Rock, Travis Tritt, Ozzy, the list goes on & on...

Is that odd?

Have a great night!

Sometimes Being the Mommy is Hard

This last few weeks it's been hard to be the Mommy. It's always challenging & rewarding & wonderful but lately it's been hard.

Our kitty died & it was a shock & he was quite young. I was just as upset as my son was but I had to give him a lot of comfort. I wanted to bawl with him & I don't understand why it happened & I don't think it's fair but I had to explain all these life lessons to my son as the Mom & not as the petulant 14 year old I still feel like sometimes. Lots of tears in my house. Even the hubby shed a few.

Rest in peace sweet Oscar. This will always be your territory.

And tomorrow we start kindergarten.

I'm worried about it & I realize that it's the beginning of school for a very, very long time & I have a lot of anxieties. Well so does my son. I find myself giving him a lot of comfort when my heart's not really in it because I am troubled by the same things he is. I'm faking excitement & really I'm worried & I'm sad & I'm having to pretend what a big boy he is & how great that is when I really want to just squish him down & keep him home with me for a few more years.

Time flies. And the moments we're given are gifts. The joy we have with each other is truly an amazing gift & I'm trying to appreciate them more & more.

I'll be blogging more now. I've missed it. I haven't gotten to be my snarky self with you & I miss that, too.

Have a great day!