I just saw something on Facebook that made me stop to think about stuff.
I am guilty of the following stereotyping so I'm being critical of myself just as much, probably even more, than I'm being critical of others.
It was a Chinese Restaurant sign called "Young Dong Garden" and a comment made was "Is that where the Cougars hang out?"
It made me smile. Until I thought about it.
Why are there all these definitions for women & not such distinct & definite terms for men?
I know I have at least two male readers, sorry guys, I'm not blaming you. We do it to ourselves & each other just as much, if not more, than you do it to us.
An older woman dating a younger man is a cougar. A younger woman dating an older rich guy is a gold digger. I know there's lots of other references but these two are coming to mind.
I saw an SNL with a Cougar sketch & they used the term cub for the younger men dating the older women ~ but that term has not really caught on to the best of my knowledge.
Do we have a definition for older rich men dating younger gold diggers? I know a lot of things we could call them, & do call them behind their backs. But I don't believe there's an official term.
And a ten, fifteen, even twenty year age difference between a man & a woman is nothing if it's the man that's older. But switch those ages & it becomes something.
I don't watch the View. I have nothing against it. I just don't watch any daytime tv besides travel & food shows or discovery health. But once in a while I will pause Good Morning America too long & the View is on after it. And I'm lazy so if I'm in the office I don't change it.
This happened a few weeks ago & Michelle Pfeiffer was a guest. She just came out with a movie that was apparently about an older woman dating a younger man. She was asked about the cougar phenomenon & she explained that she did not approve of the term because it was derogatory to women. I liked her point of view when she was presenting it & it's sort of been ponging around in my mind.
Again, I'm quite guilty of using the cougar term. I have used it twice in the last two weeks. Both times I was using it admiringly toward older females with hot, younger men.
I meant it as a compliment. But I don't want to say it anymore. I'm not saying I won't use it, but I'll not be happy with myself when I do.
I took a Women's Health class at Chico State & the instructor told us about all kinds of terms in our language that had historical references denigrating women. The one that I always remember was "the rule of thumb." She told us that saying came from a law in 19th century England allowing a husband to beat his wife with a switch no wider than his thumb.
If you look it up now, there is question as to whether that is really true or a myth. But it's something that I was taught, that I remember, that I don't say.
What do you think?
I think it interesting that you find this offensive but it is not offensive to make fun of the "white trash". Not calling you out so much as suggesting food for thought for all. It's interesting what stirs us.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting. Your comment is interesting. And please, call me out. You made me recognize something I hadn't even considered. I know the name of this blog seems silly, but it's really meaningful to me: Pumping Ideas. And you, anonymous, just blew my mind & made my face flush. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteTo give you a term used to discribe the older man with the younger female, how about Sugar Daddy.....
ReplyDeleteAge is only a problem between two people when others who don't understand that some people are more mature then others their age, so they look for an older peron to be with. Also that can be looked at the other way, as in the older person being less mature then those their age so they look for a younger companion.
Whether or not you choose to use the term Cougar, White Trash, Ghetto, Hillbilly, Red Neck, I say go for it. The only ones who would have an issue with you using those terms, are the ones who those terms were designed for, and you should never censor yourself for anyone, speak freely...
To me, "Cougar" is a sexy, lively woman of middle age who is still able to get a man she wants and use him to satisfy herself. I respect that quality in a women, and one day I'll cougar my men too!
ReplyDeleteSugar daddy are the older rich dudes. Or "Pervert" she's super young.
ReplyDeleteI also am not sure how Cougar is derogatory, I kinda see it as a compliment, I think cats are sleek, gorgeous, sexy & energetic creatures. When I call a woman a cougar, I have always thought she was a foxy mid aged woman who had it "goin' on"