Seasons Change...

It's fall. At least it feels like fall. At night anyway.

Shit's been going down. And it makes me feel my mortality. My vitality. My strengths & my fears.

My grandmother fell down & broke her hip. Or she broke her hip & fell down as our surgeon friend told us was more likely. He said most elderly people actually react & snap their hip & then fall down. They don't actually fall down & then snap their hip. Interesting bit of trivia, I suppose.

My Grandmother & I are close. Really close. I talk to her several times a week if not more. If something pops into my mind I call her & she's there & we talk. We chat all the time. And when I visit her we are even closer in person.

She's the only Grandma I've ever had. My Mom's Mom died when she was 6. And my Great Grandmother who raised my Mom died when I was 4. I remember her though. She used to watch General Hospital & the villain's name on that "story", as she called it, was named Lisa. She was so mad my Mom named me Lisa that she called me Litha. She gave me a beautiful locket that I treasure to this day. And my Mom says she still feels her presence. Especially if she's doing something of which my Great Grandmother would have not approved.

It's been odd this last week, not having my Grandma to call. I called her at the hospital but it wasn't the same. She wasn't the same. Her voice was flat. I've been near tears all week. Shed them a few times.

I'm going back as soon as she gets out of the rehab hospital in a week or two to spend time with her. Today she was worried about how she would feed me while she was laid up. It's my turn to proudly feed her. To help her. To treasure her. To love her.

And I do. I always have & always will. She's actually one of my very best friends. And here's just one example of why we're so close ~ so alike:

When I was in my late teens or early twenties, she told me to go through her jewelry box to see if there was anything I liked. I squealed with delight as I found a small gold turtle pin. I said "it's two turtles..." big pause as I examined them. "And they're making love."

My Grandma laughed & said "I call those my 'Fucking Turtles'."

The next year, for my birthday she gave me those turtles & a matching set of earrings. I love all four of them!

I look forward to another decade or so of my Grandma's companionship. Of her counsel & her ear. I hope she's here at least that long. But I know she'll always be in my heart & on my mind. And I'll always feel her presence. In fact I've told her she's always welcome to stop by, anytime she'd like. Now or in the future ~ wherever she may be.

Have a great night & cherish your loved ones ~ Lisa