I Actually LOL'd ~ You Tube Funny...

This was on my front page of You Tube & the title, "Don't Call Me Fat", caught my attention so I decided to check it out. Now another friggin thing I'm gonna be addicted to ~ great.

It's outrageous & offensive & I love it. The commentator guy is an absolute cutie, too.

Let me know what you think!

"Cocaine" is my answer :) Just kidding! It's actually "Money"!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2oLoBpFmho&feature=popular

Facebook Note I Will Never Write!

My friend had the most outrageous idea for a note on Facebook. I won't do it but it made me suck in my breath & then totally shriek with shock ~ & please believe that it is difficult to shock me.

Anyway, she wanted to start the following note: How many of your Facebook friends have you slept with?

I was wild when I was younger. Ok, I'm still totally wild but in different ways. I've been married for a long time & have always been faithful so this was all a lifetime ago. Actually, several lifetimes since I've been like six or seven distinct & different people since my teens & early twenties.

Perhaps I would write a note about how many Facebook friends I've kissed/made-out with ~ that's something I could more easily own up to.

Thoughts?

How Do I Love Me, Let Me Count The Ways...

When I'm felling blue, I try to think about the things I do well. At least the things that I try to do well.

I'm a good wife, a lot of the time.

I'm a good Mom, even more of the time.

I'm fiercely loyal to my friends & family.

I try to be better at all these things.

It's so much easier to find where I fall short but I really try to focus on the good.

Try it yourself & please share.

Do you keep a nice house? Are you there to help your friends? Do you go to bed with your partner when you'd rather do your toes & they never even know? These are all things & times we put others before ourselves & we should be recognized for them. If not by others then at least by ourselves.

This week is almost over & I will be feeling much better come Monday.

Again, please share! I love to know I'm not all alone. I already know I'm crazy :)

Mother In-Law Etiquette...

When your Mother-In-Law is criticizing your husband's sibling & you totally agree & think she's not even close to being tough enough, exactly how much are you allowed to say?

At what point do you offend her for bagging on her child? Even if you're totally right & you do manage to hold back from saying how bad it really is.

My husband would tell me just to keep my mouth shut & my instincts tell me to totally go off. I managed to fall somewhere between & got my point across but didn't say anything I regret now.

And I was even able to throw in an extra jab that I'd been wanting to say about a 25 year old grandchild behaving in the same irresponsible way.

I'm so going to hell but at least I'll have a clear conscience.

What do you think?

Man Type Memory...

I remember when I was younger & my Mom was talking to her friends about the type of men they like. They were discussing tall, dark, handsome, etc. The conversation eventually came to "Suzy." When asked what type of man she preferred, she said "I like 'em short, bald & a little bit crazy." Perfect, because that's what she had.

The above is one of my favorite memories, & favorite quotes, ever. We don't have to like conventions. In fact, I find it much more satisfying to like what's not conventional.

I like mine "tall, bald & a little bit dangerous." Worked out well for me, too.

School Haze...

We're taking the kid to school in the morning & then the hubby will take me out to breakfast. It's our first day of school routine.

I know I seem all tough & happy that he's going back to school, but it is a little troubling to send your child out into the world without being there to protect them like you want to.

On the other hand, dang I'm glad he'll be out of the house more :)

I'll be back to my funny, cynical self after I'm through with the back to school tears.

Do you know & understand both sides?

My Favorite Cartoon ~ Ever!

My hubby sent this to me & I love it!

I love my husband, but dang...

sometimes he fucking drives me crazy.

I really do love this guy. We have been married for a long time & although I don't believe in the whole soul mate thing (I have control of my destiny by making choices that will lead me to my destiny, whole other blogspot, I'll get to it later) I completely believe that he is the very best person for me. He has given me THE child I was meant to parent & I really, really love him. I even like him most of the time.

However, when he is out of town for ONE night & comes home, he gets on my nerves. We just get out of sync & it's totally my fault. I believe that I miss him, I'm totally sweet & loving to him on the phone but when he gets home, I'm annoyed.

Now when he's gone for two nights, I'm so happy & pleasant when he comes home. I do actually miss him instead of just thinking that I miss him. I have enough time to myself & the opportunity to realize that I do not want to be a single parent. We are totally in sync because we're both glad that he's home.

You would think he would learn & try to arrange it to be gone for two nights instead of one. Although I'm not sure he realizes what's up. I have only recently begun to notice that I am distinctly grouchy when he comes home from an overnight as opposed to a two or three night stay.

Actually, three is sometimes too much & I may become resentful when he's gone that long which is much more dangerous to him than grouchy. I am such a pain in the ass to be married to ~ poor guy.

Am I the only one that's this crazy?

I Almost Didn't Post This, It's Just Rambling...

As previously mentioned, I watched Obsessed on A & E on Monday & it was frightening!

It made me think of a show I saw on TLC many months ago about this lady who lived in San Francisco in a tiny apartment that was so full it was unbelievable. She had to sleep in a huddled ball on the floor because of all the stacks & shelves full of organized stuff. At least she had a case of double OCD so she kept it neat instead of having it all look like garbage everywhere.

She was such a sad, lonely case that it just broke my heart. When she left the apartment she had to take three full backpacks of stuff just to take the bus to her therapy. She was close to being evicted. So sad.

There was another woman that put it into terms I could truly understand. She was talking about her need to go to thrift shops, that she couldn't pass by one without going in, & when she was there she found pieces of herself. This sewing machine is for the lady that likes to do crafts. This dish is for the lady that likes to entertain her friends.

Of course she could never do those things because she couldn't have anyone visit & she didn't have space to sew. Her story was the most troubling because she had two teenage sons living with her & her stuff.

The woman in San Francisco lived in a nice house with her apartment in the front & looking normal from the street. Inside was quite a different story. The other woman's house gave a glimpse of what was happening inside as seems to happen with hoarders that have yards & driveways.

After I saw the show on TLC I freaked out & looked up the signs & symptoms of hoarding based on my tendency towards clutter. I am absolutely, positively not even on the scale of record keeping for hoarding. It made me feel better but it made me feel sadder for the people that are measured on that scale.

Most of the time Obsessed frightens me & reminds me to recognize that it's a slippery slope for all of us. But the way the hoarders live just breaks my heart.

My whole take on the situation, is that you just never know. I try not to judge people from the outside looking in because you just never know.

I still hear that woman talking about finding pieces of herself ~ it haunts me.

Hooray for the Babysitter!

Earlier in the summer I paid our babysitter for two full days of watching the kid & I only needed her for one day. She was thrilled to get the day off but had already taken my check.

She's a wonderful girl heading off to college & she would have insisted on returning half the money. But do I want that money? Hell, no. I want the babysitting. So when she called last night after coming back from her month-long dance program to see if I needed her I had the unexpected thrill of having a babysitter today.

Today is a wonderful day. My husband is out of town. My kid has been watched & expertly cared for all day & is now swimming with the babysitter at her house. How could things get any better?

I went shopping this morning. I made a lovely salad for lunch. Oh, and school starts next week ~ hell yeah! Sorry to all the teachers already back this week but thank you for taking such good care of our kiddos.

I hope you're having a wonderful day, too!

Question: Does it make me a bad Mom that I love having someone else watch & entertain my kid, even when I'm home?!

Messin' With My Mind...

Ok, so many things mess with my mind ~ many people mess with it. But I am bugged when the television tries to do it & it's totally obvious.

Although I'm quite sure it does it all the time & mostly I just don't notice.

Anyway, last night on Obsessed they showed a whole episode on this guy that was a crazy, compulsive hoarder. It was interesting & terrifying & I'm glad I had it on dvr so I could fast forward through some of the overwhelmingly uncomfortable parts.

All through the show they kept advertising about the new A & E series called Hoarders or something similar. Not very subtle. It's like the old spin-offs where you wonder why the sitcom is traveling off on some odd tangent with a non-main character & then bam...that character has a new sitcom.

The thing that really annoyed me, & which I was reminded of last night, was the advertising done by vaccine manufacturers.

I didn't realize it the first time but I knew something was up when seemingly PSAs kept running about the "did you know that ovarian cancer is caused by a virus? I'm going to tell my Mom, my sister, my friend..."

Then bam...out come the Gardasil Vaccination advertisements. Scare tactics.

Then there were the meningitis quasi-PSAs. Same thing. Scare 'em then offer them a cure.

Just a rant that's ponged around in my mind so I wanted to share.

Any others I'm missing? Anything totally obvious that they did & I didn't notice? Please share!

A Full Day of Bad Eating...

So today my nutritional intake is going to be somewhat amusing & I will not even attempt to estimate the calories.

For breakfast I had a Salmon Salad & Tomato sandwich with cream cheese on protein bread. I started out so well.

However, I knew we were having friends over this evening & not only would be consuming large quantities of alcohol but we would also be picking up Thai food for dinner for the adults ~ Scooby Doo Mac-n-Cheese for the kiddos.

When I get Thai food I do not mess around. I'll get a large order of Green Curry Chicken & I will eat it all. Plus I will probably eat a few Potato Curry Puff appetizers.

So when it was requested by my hubby that I procure lunch at noon, what did I do? I called in an order to Bartel's for two giant cheeseburgers & two fries with four sauces. The hubby has been working in the yard all morning so it's not so bad for him & he'll order some healthy, spicy version of Thai seafood, veggies & noodles.

But for me, however, my day has been spent goofing off on the computer & watching the cooking channel. If I manage to vacuum, that will be the full extent of my exercise for the day.

I spoke to my friend that will be visiting this evening & she said that she does it differently ~ she knows she's eating Thai curry this evening so she's eating healthy all day to save up for it.

Which is better & which is worse?

I'm so back on my diet tomorrow!

Philosophical Differences

I've had two interesting conversations today about the need to communicate in relationships and how important, and difficult, that communication can be.

First of all, men and women seem to communicate in very different ways. Men want to acknowledge something once, solve it, then move on. Women, in my estimation, want to visit a topic over & over.

I'll give an example of my own: In the first year of my marriage, well over a decade ago, my husband had to travel to Fresno on Sunday evening & did not return home until Thursday or Friday each week. I suspected that something inappropriate had happened down there and I asked him. I happen to be very good, almost amazing, at knowing when my husband is lying. He finds it very annoying but acknowledges that why would I keep asking him something when I always know when he's lying.

Anyway, he told me that nothing had happened & patiently answered all of my questions. As he still does when every 6 months or so I ask, completely out of nowhere, did you cheat on me when you were working in Fresno?!

I visit the topic every so often, as I do most topics. I get the same answer I've always gotten in the same believable way it's always been given, & then we move on. He really doesn't get annoyed like I half expect him to because he knows that I need to revisit again & again.

Today, I heard the same revelations from two women about the importance of communication, & if there's a breakdown in communication & we, as women, are left to our imaginations, we can really whack out.

I'm comforted to know that it's not just me but I sincerely hope it's not all of us.

Thanks to my two friends today for sharing their stories. Food for thought.

The Hubby Approves

Last night the hubby looked at our blog. He likes it & said it was very pretty.

He just glanced at it because he says it's a chick thing, as evidenced by the pink. He did, however, read the entry about him & confirmed that he does always love me even when I want to smash him in the face. What a sweetie.

I'm very lucky, I know, & I hope you all have your own wonderful relationships :)

Pet Peeves....Typos

Typos. I make them all the time but I go back & try to correct them.

I was just reading Perez Hilton & his blog is full of typos. It drives me crazy.

He wrote "it's just a manor of time".

That beeyatch gets paid mucho deniro for ranting & raving & he can't afford someone to check his spelling, extra words, etc.

I'll still keep reading it. It's a sickness I happen to have & actually one of my sicknesses I enjoy.

I know admitting I hate typos opens the door to being judged so if you see typos on here, pleeeeez let me know!

Also, are there other ladies that read Perez or are there only a few of us "this age" that are stuck in the tween mindset?

Nutritionally, Let Us Look At My Day...

7am Protein Bar 150 Calories
12pm Taco Bell Bean Burrito w/2 Packets of Mild Salsa 370 Calories
Throughout the Day 4 Cups of Coffee & 4 Glasses of Water
5pm Large Vodka Tonic 200 Calories
6pm Large Vodka Tonic 200 Calories
7pm Final Large Vodka Tonic 200 Calories
Eventually I plan to eat a large tomato with fresh basil & then knock out ~ 33 Calories.

I am out of Diet Tonic & that really pisses me off!

Somebody got something better? And by better I mean worse & more amusing?!

Please share!

To Be Continued...

My Mom always told me that the only difference between crazy & eccentric is money.

Deep Thoughts by Me...

I've always found that how I look has a lot more to do with how I feel than how I look.

Not So Deep Thoughts...

Where have all the eyebrows gone, long-time passing?

Where have all the eyebrows gone, long-time ago?

Where have all the eyebrows gone? Gone to tweezers every one.

When will they ever learn, when will they everrrr learn?

Why oh why do we pluck the hell out of our eyebrows in our youth? We pay for it today. Any suggestions?

Thanks ~ loved it & keep 'em coming!

Facebook Funnies

Why Didn't You?!

Have you ever noticed that almost every photo of every thinnish girl we went to high school with shows much larger chests than previously worn?

Miss you dreadfully, really haven't known who to talk to this week so I've just been mumbling to myself.
March 6 at 5:53pm

Thanks for the message ~ loved it & keep 'em coming!

I'm Narcissistic & So Am I

I've had a strange few days. My life, at least my work life, has been in a bit of turmoil ~ or at least I thought it was.

Anyway, I thought I was having problems with my boss. He faxed me something late on Friday night that he really should have discussed with me. I was all in an uproar all weekend & then this morning I was even planning an exit strategy to start my own business when I found out that there's something serious going on with his family. Like life & death stuff that makes everything else seem so trivial.

So I had to shift from anger to guilt to total sadness & hoping for the very best possible outcome for him & his family.

That's a lot of emotions & it really made me think about me. That Narcissus again.

Why do I always think everything is about me? When someone doesn't call me back or answer my e-mail immediately my first thought is that I did something wrong. I never stop to consider that maybe something is going on with them.

Does that make me a narcissistic bitch?

And the final narcissistic question, is it just me?

Or are there others out there, too?

After Sunday Comes Monday

Ok, I fell off the wagon on Friday night. I had a terrible late afternoon at work & my boss is quite thoughtless to set me up for an angry weekend. Anyway, I had three cocktails. Then Saturday night, although I wasn't as upset as on Friday, I had two Blue Moons, one Smirnoff Ice & a very medium glass of red wine over the course of four hours.

I feel like I proved that I could go for five days without drinking & not develop any signs of alcohol withdrawal. My hubby even got me the first cocktail so I'll say that he's supportive rather than say he's an enabler.

At any rate, I hope tomorrow will be a better day with work.

We'll see how I do without booze this week. Cheers!

Facebook Funnies

FB User #1 is wondering if anyone watched the new show on A&E Obsessed? Will it give me nightmares or should I set my dvr?
May 25 at 8:26pm

FB User #2 I recorded it on my dvr but haven't watched it yet. Might get to it tonight, possibly tomorrow, I'll let you know what I think.
May 25 at 8:57pm

Facebook User #1 I knew I could count on you. The topics seem like they might freak me out, I already have germ issues :)
May 25 at 9:07pm

Facebook User #3 That DOES look interesting...
May 25 at 9:15pm

Facebook User #4 I watched it, and now I feel better about myself.
May 26 at 10:24am

We love funny Facebook interactions. Send us any you find particularly amusing!

Thanks & keep 'em coming!

Conversation Thread ~ Functioning Freaks

June 8 at 9:53am
What are you up to? Haven't heard from you in two weeks, which is strange :)

June 8 at 9:20pm
Are you angry at me? Did I do something to offend you? "The question isn't are you paranoid, the question is are you paranoid enough."

June 8 at 9:23pm
Are you mad at me or did I say something to offend you?

"The question isn't whether you're paranoid, the question is whether you're paranoid enough."

June 8 at 9:25pm
Sorry, my iPhone kept saying it did not go thru. One message was ample.

June 8 at 10:46pm
Not at all silly!!! I just haven't been online a lot lately! I have checked briefly but not responded to anyone yet. I don't blame you though, I am the queen of paranoia! Every time I do a status update and nobody responds I think everyone hates me! I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, hang tight. I love ya still!!!

June 8 at 11:18pm
Cool, I love ya 2!!!

June 8 at 11:33pm
Good to know! I love having you as a friend, you remind me so much of myself! Why weren’t we friends in high school? Makes me wonder how much I missed out on... Intervention rocked! You have no idea how much eating disorders resonate with me! But that's a whole other conversation, isn't it?

June 9 at 9:04am
And just to let you know, I'm a total druggie, alckie, bulimic girl - have been for a long time & am not likely to change - it's all managed right now & makes the whole journey interesting. It also endlessly amuses my totally sane & in control hubby. Hope you understand how we can be these things but not need to be on Intervention & can still be good wives & moms & employees. Those shows show me that except for my chubbiness right now, I'm doing good.

June 9 at 9:26pm
In case I scared you, I'm not textbook druggie, alckie & bulimic - these are just things I've experienced. And survived & still am. Never had any "official" problems although I don't ever do drugs now. I just came from college with some very interesting stories :)

I don't think I'll ever quit drinking so I really try to keep it under control. It could easily be a problem though.

And Although I wish I could be ana for a few months - my occasional bulimic "episode" is just another sign of my addictive personality.

Tell me your story, girl. I'm sharing with you & I rarely do that with anyone. I don't think we would have been healthy for each other in high school.

Hope u r having a great night. Cheers!

June 9 at 10:03pm
I'm not scared at all! Love to know I'm not the only functioning freak.

Thanks for the thread!

We loved it & please keep 'em coming.

The only changes we will make would be to neutralize any names that may be included.

Alcoholic Brake-Check

I am trying to go for two weeks without drinking. I'm already pretty annoyed about it & I'm only on day two.

Every once in a while I do this to make sure I don't officially have a problem - so far, so good. No DT's, no ants crawling & I'm not really that crabby. Although it was strange to prepare dinner tonight & not consider what cocktail to have or what bottle of wine to open.

Guess a brake-check every now & then is good for us all - or for me at least.

Oh & just because I'm not drinking doesn't mean I get to pop pills instead. I'm trying to just stick to caffeine & that's it for two weeks. Seriously, I will kill somebody if I try to give up coffee & diet pepsi, too!