And Another...

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

And Another...

Jenny Kissed Me by James Henry Leigh Hunt

Jenny kissed me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,
Say that health and wealth have missed me,
Say I'm growing old, but add,
Jenny kissed me.

Another...

Walk Slowly by Adelaide Love

If you should go before me, dear, walk slowly
Down the ways of death, well-worn and wide,
For I would want to overtake you quickly
And seek the joumey's ending by your side.

I would be so forlorn not to descry you
Down some shining highroad when I came,
Walk slowly, dear, and often look behind you
And pause to hear if someone calls your name.

Poetry Tonight...

The Philosopher by Edna St. Vincent Millay

And what are you that, wanting you,
I should be kept awake
As many nights as there are days
With weeping for your sake?

And what are you that, missing you,
As many days as crawl
I should be listening to the wind
And staring at the wall?

I know a man that's a braver man
And twenty men as kind,
And what are you, that you should be
The one man in my mind?

Yet women's ways are witless ways,
As any sage will tell, --
And what am I, that I should love
So wisely and so well?

One of my favorite poems ever & I do love her bio.

What an interesting & talented woman.

Just a Thought...

While I was working, I had paused American Justice on A & E. I just unpaused it & skimmed through "A Murder in Greenwich: The Martha Moxley Story." I have seen it before.

It always reminds me of something my Dad says:

"Shit Walks & Money Talks."

Pearl Jam & Politics...

A Facebook friend of mine updated her status letting everyone know how much fun she had at a Pearl Jam concert last night.

I saw them a few years ago & the show was great until Eddie started spewing his political ideaology. Whether I agreed with him or not, I marveled at this fellow sharing his political opinions to a crowd of drunk & stoned people when by luck & timing he was not working at a Starbucks in Seattle undiscovered.

There are so many talented musicians in the world & so many people working hard to try & make it. Eddie is talented, absolutely, but I really think being in the right place at the right time has a lot to do with many of the performers that make it. Especially from that era of time & music in Seattle.

Say what you will about the luck & talent & hardwork & timing factors, but I just felt strange hearing politics at a Pearl Jam concert. At any concert, really. We're not in the sixties.

I didn't want to take away from the status update because I love to go to concerts & Pearl Jam was fun. However...

That's the main memory I have of the Pearl Jam concert. Oh, that & when they sang "Jeremy."

Feel free to disagree & share. I'm not above being wrong. It's just my opinion. I just didn't want to have this discussion on Facebook.

A Jagged Little Pill...

Headache's gone now but I had to cave.

No, I did not have a drink. I did, however, take one little tiny Vicodin & now I'm feeling much better. I had a beer drinking friend call me & talk to me & made me miss the booze so I took the Vike.

They've been in the house for six months, there were ten of them to start & now there are seven left so I think it's safe to say I don't abuse them. It did kill the headache quite nicely & helps me to enjoy my Diet Root beer from Trader Joe's much more.

I won't be able to take another tomorrow though, because that would go against my pill ethics, so I hope this headache does not return. It has felt like a sinus thing, however, rather than a no booze thing.

I really think I'm gonna make it two weeks this time. Although my hubby doesn't know that's my goal. I try not to define such things with him so I don't have to listen to him reprimand my failures. He'll be pleased if I go a few days. He thinks it's better for me.

I know this all makes me sound like I have a drinking problem. I had a long conversation about this today & I don't think that's the case.

I believe that I have a problem setting & keeping limits. The hubby can have a glass of wine & enjoy it & I figure if I'm gonna bother with a glass, I want to feel it. So I have three glasses, or four.

And then it really moves beyond the health benefit to the buzz effect. And if you have three glasses for a few nights then you need four to get the buzz effect. So if he opens a bottle & has a glass, then I tend to finish it & even open another. Lots of lip I take for that. Not good for me & expensive.

Anyway, if you know what I mean then you know what I mean. And if you don't, please don't worry about me because this is one thing I keep a handle on. I can't banish all the substances from my life: no booze, no cigarettes, no drugs. The booze must stay.

But it must stay on acceptable terms.

I'll totally get a quick buzz in two weeks. Now that's something to look forward to!

Squeaky Brakes...

Uh-oh. Today I have a terrible headache & I'm a little shaky. My hubby also has a headache & thinks we may be getting a cold but I'm afraid mine is alcohol withdrawal.

My friend told me today that when she quits drinking she misses the sugar from the alcohol so she eats cookies. She's a skinny bitch, by the way, so I'll try not to employ her tactic. But the sugar absence could be causing my headache & shakiness.

Yes, let's go with that theory.

I find comfort where I can because any official alcohol withdrawal symptoms will cause my hubby to cut me off. He doesn't usually read this blog so I could just suffer in silence but I won't. I have to bitch & so he already knows I'm not feeling quite right.

Maybe a cold isn't sounding so bad right now...haaachoooo!

Have a great day!

Alcoholic Brake-Check...

Again. We'll try for the whole two weeks this trip. Although I never make it.

The first day was easy because I was so hung over from Saturday festivities that alcohol sounds like the most appalling thing in the world right now. In fact, it's Monday & I am still hung over.

I hate getting older. You'd think I'd at least be smarter by now, but I'm not.

No alcohol withdrawal symptoms yet. So far so good.

Wish me luck & have a great week :)

Poetry Tonight...

When I was a child,
I saw the world through innocent eyes.
I believed in all that was good.
I was frightened by all that was evil.
As I've grown older I've discovered:
The two converge & become one.
I've embraced them both to learn:
Nothing.
I don't believe in demons.
I've never found the saints.
We each choose our time to leave
The age of innocence.

Why Ya Gotta Bug Me?!

My son bugs me for the things he can't do.

My husband bugs me for the things he does & does not do.

I'm sure my son will eventually bug me that way, too.

Time Well Spent...

My husband told me something a long time ago about the glass ceiling. I was complaining about something I saw on the news that could have been perceived as discriminatory against a female executive & I told him how unfair it was.

He said, "Perhaps, but there are legitimate things that hold women back & the biggest reason is growing right now in your belly."

So true. I hate to admit it, but so true. Today, as on any given day, I can give several examples.

I work from home & my husband takes my son to preschool. But I have to get him up, get him fed, help him get his teeth brushed, help him get dressed, help him get all of his necessary shit together.

My husband gets ready & watches the news & feeds himself.

Quite true that a lot of the time I don't have to leave my house to go to work so if I don't get out of my pajamas until 10am it's ok. But I'm not sure the distribution of labor would be any different if I did work out of our home.

I start work at 7-7:30am, which means my boss & customers will begin calling by then & sometimes even earlier. This morning my son had his shirt on backward, his socks on wrong & his shoes weren't even untied yet alone on. My husband was almost ready & my boss called. I kept getting the kid dressed, turned his shirt around, untied & tied his shoes, kissed the top of his head & slipped into the office all while my boss was discussing marketing strategies & asking if I'd opened the e-mail he sent me just seconds before.

Sigh...

I got my work done this morning, I did some household errands, got more work done this afternoon, picked my son up at preschool, I came home. I took several more work calls & met several deadlines, had a lot left I could have done, but instead I spent an hour playing Mancala with my son.

He won.

Occasionally I have to explain to my boss that I have to get off the phone or switch to my cell because I have to pick my kid up by 2:30pm. He understands.

Sort of.

He knows I'm a Mom but he doesn't want to know about it. He treats me like an equal, like a confidant, like a strategizing partner. I love that. He has a lot invested in me, he has high expectations & I'm an exceptional earner. We both love that.

But I am a Mom. He has two kids & he's a Dad.

But it's different.

That baby growing in my belly really did change everything.

If Even the Rich & Famous Can't Beat It...

What the hell chance do the rest of us have?!

In the last few weeks & months, several famous battles have been lost against cancer. I'm thinking of Farrah Fawcett, Edward Kennedy & today, Patrick Swayze.

It's so scary to me to think about the amount of money that was spent & the access to incredible medicine & cancer fighting strategies these very wealthy individuals had & they still lost the battle.

When it comes to our health, it just goes to show, we are all mere mortals.

I know there are conspiracy theories that the government &/or the pharmaceutical companies already have the cure for cancer & they don't want to release it because of the money cancer generates.

I am not big into conspiracy theories. I don't think secrets can be kept for long unless the secrets disappear.

Like if aliens really did land here in the fifties or whenever & they actually did have the alien bodies than those bodies must have been destroyed. And those bodies must have been seen by only a very small number of people or else somebody would have blabbed.

It's not that I don't believe in aliens, I just don't believe in people.

But to rebuff the government cancer cure conspiracy, I truly think that if they had it then they would have deployed the good stuff for Teddy.

Unless of course they're using his death to push through the health care reform package in his memory?! Conspiracy leads to conspiracy to more conspiracy...

Anyway, Rest In Peace Patrick Swayze. Even in your most serious roles, you still made me smile. "Via Con Dios."

Good Morning America, How Are You?!...

Thanks to Serena & Kanye, Good Morning America is good. We are all so fickle!

Personal opinion time:

I think Serena was very aggressive & inappropriate but I do not think there would be such a fuss being made if it had been a male player or if it had been Maria Sharapova.

Should she apologize? Probably, but so should that line judge for over officiating & making a bad call at such a crucial time in the match. Serena would have done better just to move on & finish the match & complain about it later but I understand her frustration. Although I think some of her personal frustration with the match was misdirected at someone else.

So, all in all, not cool, but I still love her.

Kanye West is a delusional idiot & an ass-hole & he should really be banned from ever being in front of a live camera again.

I don't use the term "douche bag", but if I did I think this would be the perfect instance to do so.

Send me your thoughts cuz it was an interesting weekend.

Have a great day!

Messin' With My Mind...

Lots of things mess with my mind. This is & will be a continuing topic.

The Scientology folks have a lot of money because they hire the most beautiful models/actors & produce the most mesmerizing commercials for the "religion".

I don't really understand it & I must admit that a great deal of my Scientology knowledge has come from only two sources.

The first was a case in Florida where a Scientologist was left to die without medical treatment & there was evidence that she had been fed on by rats while she was still alive & it was quite horrible. I believe there were lawsuits based on the lack of medical intervention used & accepted by the study of Scientology. I read a lot on it a few years ago & found it disturbing.

The second source has been South Park. Those were some very interesting episodes during Chef's final days. Very interesting indeed. And the "Come Out of the Closet" episode featuring Tom Cruise & John Travolta prior to Chef's death was also interesting because it led to such a reaction from Scientologists.

It was all several years ago & my memory is fuzzy so I'll probably revisit this topic, but my point is that the Scientology "The answer's out there" commercials kind of freak me out.

But even I must admit that they are beautiful & haunting & if that's what I could look like if only I was a Scientologist well then, sign me up. All hail Xenu!

My husband thinks I might get hate mail for this one but as always:

Your thoughts?!

Good Morning, America...Or is it?

I don't really talk politics. I think it but I don't speak it. Sometimes I don't even think it.

I always watch Good Morning America. Sometimes the human interest crap is too painful & I pause the tv, go about my business then return to fast forward to the helpful tips they offer. Cute idea last week to put marshmallows in the bottom of a sugar cone to keep it from leaking & then you're left with a yummy surprise at the end.

Anyway, this morning I did not watch it at all. I saw enough hubbub this morning about the President's speech last night on our own local news. I only watched a little, but I can't recall Democrats ever heckling George Bush. I say this because it's nothing I can recall. I'm certainly not saying it didn't happen. I'm just saying it wasn't played over & over & over again by the media with demands for apologies. I'm not saying an apology isn't necessary, because it was pretty rude, but the way it's portrayed by the media is really focusing a lot of attention on the action.

I feel a little guilty about my lack of interest in the current political environment. I know there's a problem with health care, but I don't have it. None of my friends seem to have it. Some of my in-laws have it but they're the variety that don't work full-time & had babies when they were really young with different men that don't work at all. Or adults that don't hold steady jobs because of substance abuse difficulties.

I have total respect & understanding for people & families out there busting their asses & are falling through the cracks of making too much to qualify for public & not enough to afford private. I just don't know if I have those people in my world. Or if I do they're too proud & independent to let me know. My personal experience is with people that are either part-time or unemployed.

I know that right after we got married my husband got laid off & we had to purchase private insurance & it was hard then. I'm sure it's even harder & more expensive now.

I feel like a pretty well-informed, involved citizen & I'm concerned with my political apathy the last year or so. I just feel so removed. The financial numbers of everything are so huge that I really can't get my mind around the funding. Or where all the money goes.

I can't say it's a Democratic thing or a Republican thing...I'm just not interested right now. And I feel bad. But not bad enough to get involved. I think the Wally Herger thing last month was my last straw. And all the idiots that send letters into the Record Searchlight with their opinions.

I like my opinions, & your opinions, much better. We just don't make the effort to write to the paper. We type here. I wouldn't want my name to be published in the RS with any sort of opinion because judging from some of the letters I read, I would be frightened of offending either radical side.

Anyway, that's my post for today. It was rambling but I realized this afternoon that I did miss my Good Morning America. I'll watch it next week. They'll have moved on to some new drama & maybe it will be one I'll be interested in.

Have a great day...

I am full of empathy. But I am also full of apathy.

Food & TV, My Favorite Combo...

I love the Food Network. I've been watching it for years. I got hooked when I was pregnant & my friend visited from out of state & started me on 30 Minute Meals. I am not a Rachel Ray fan anymore, by any means, but I did think she was fabulous when she first started that show.

It was the oddest thing to watch her grow younger. She started out with smart cardigans, a Mom haircut wearing slacks & ended up with the big arm movements, almost shouting "Yummo" & "EVOO" every other second & some seriously streaked, highlighted hair & hipster jeans showing her sorta sad cleavage.

They took her in a totally different direction. Funny thing about "celebrities" & "personalities" ~ you never really know who they really actually are.

Anyway, now I watch Chopped & Iron Chef America & Throwdown. I'm also diggin Chefs vs. City & I still love the Barefoot Contessa but the rest of the shows kinda bug me. Giada's ok, too.

My friend suggested having a Chopped party & I think that is a fabulous idea. The only problem I envision is a throwdown for more space on the cook top. I mean, I would require several burners at a time. Who has more than one cook top? Two ovens, perhaps, but only one cook top.

Maybe we could take turns with the same picnic basket items & while one is cooking the other can be serving the judges, etc. I am going to do it if she doesn't but I don't want to steal her idea.

Doesn't that sound fun?

Also, you might think Sex & Food would be a better combo, but I am effed up enough in the eating department. I never, ever combine those two :)

Double also, my friend Amy (Lesbian Amy as she liked to be called) was hanging out with me right before I popped & Everyday Italian came on. Amy loved it & asked "What's her name again?" & I said "Giada" & she said "Even her name is hot." A favorite memory.

Perez Says...

I just read the following quote on Perez Hilton:

"Welcome to mid-life crisis, where the cars get older, but the woman get much younger."

He used it in reference to Sean Penn (puke my guts out ~ haven't liked him since Spicoli) dating a 25 year old Sports Illustrated swimsuit model after his recent split from his wife.

I like the quote.

Finding Facebook Funny...

Funny ha ha & funny strange.

I love Facebook. But I'm also a little afraid of it.

So if I ignore your Farm Friends whatever, don't drink your martini or cup of coffee & don't return your hug, please don't think it's because I don't love you ~ I do.

I am just afraid of accepting all the applications that come with those things. I love taking FB quizzes, but each one scares me a little bit when I have to click "allow".

Also, I've heard the Farm Stuff & Mafia Wars are addictive. And we all know I don't need any more frigging addictions, thank you very much.

On the other hand, I love the people connections on FB. My very best friend on FB, & you know who you are my frequent PI contributor, is someone I barely remember from high school. And might I just add that thank goodness we did not know each other earlier in life because we could have definitely been disruptive to each other's success :)

This all comes to mind today because I sent a friend request to someone that I've always found interesting but am honestly a little hesitant about. I believe we're both alpha females & sometimes it's difficult for the same type to get along well. I feel like when we're around each other we sniff & growl deep in our throats but have never attacked. She accepted my friend request so I'm happy. The more strong, successful friends you can have the better. Especially better on your side than on someone else's.

I also love getting friend requests from people I've only met a few times or from someone I haven't seen in a long time. It always comes as such a pleasant surprise. I've only turned down three requests ever. One from a guy I didn't know, one from an Avon representative & one from a real estate agent. Although of the latter two I do admire their marketing techniques.

Hope you're having a great Labor Day weekend. I know mine has been fun & relaxing.

Busted Dreams...

The last few nights I've been having dreams about old boyfriends. When this happens it's the oddest thing because it will come at a time when my marriage is fantastic, when my life is wonderful, when I'm happy.

Some are kinda naughty dreams & some are really kinda naughty dreams. None of them are innocent. Should I feel guilty?

When my hubby starts murmuring or moaning in his sleep I totally listen for any names or any references & I am totally prepared to kick his ass. I mean, I get jealous & annoyed when he seems to be dreaming about something pleasant that may or may not include me.

However, I totally enjoy my dreams & don't feel guilty about them. I like them. But I do feel that perhaps I should feel guilty.

Sometimes the double standard has just got to work in our favor, don't you think? We all know that it certainly doesn't most of the time!

Thoughts?!

My Favorite Proverb...

I learned this Spanish Proverb from a co-worker a long time ago. She was from Mexico & she fiercely hated her Mother-In-Law. She placed a curse on her by burying her picture in a glass jar of salt in her backyard ~ real voodoo stuff. I loved it but I would not want anyone to do that to me.

I actually do love my Mother-In-Law even though she pisses me off from time to time ~ I know I've got it pretty good.

I only have a son so I am gonna be nice as hell to whomever he hooks up with because I truly believe the following:

"Las piernas son más fuertes que los brazos."

"The legs are stronger than the arms."

A special thanks to my special translator!

What the Mother-In-Law?!

The things my Mother-in-Law says to me sometimes are so passive aggressive it's astonishing.

We had a lovely few hours together this afternoon. Even though I told her that we would be picking up the kid from pre-school at 2:30pm so she could get her around 2pm & she showed up at 1:20pm, no big deal. I'm used to the early habit. The house was picked up, I was made up, no problems.

We chatted while she read the paper, we went & got the kid. Perfect.

My hubby came home. We went for a museum outing with the four of us. Lovely.

Then on the drive home when we pulled into the neighborhood, two blocks from our house, she suggested that we borrow their pressure washer for the outside our house. I asked why & she laughed & said because the front door is so dirty.

Then when we walked into the house through the garage she stopped by a row of boxes by the side of my car & commented on all the stuff I had. That perhaps I should have a yard sale. She had been in that garage four times already today & not mentioned a word.

Now I wish I was the bigger person here & could say I just let it roll, but I didn't. I returned the banter. I said that I would never go to her house into her garage & comment on the clutter there so why does she feel the need to do it to me when she knows my pack rat habits are a sore spot with the hubby. Of course I said it sweetly, smiling & even laughing, but my eyes were narrowed.

I went into the office & worked for a half hour & left her alone with her son & her grandson. Then I came out & walked her out the front door. Oh my, I said, the front door is dirty, thanks for pointing that out. The outside of the house is your son's responsibility so I'm sure he'll take care of it now.

I really try to be a sweet daughter-in-law, but do not fuck with me. I am a Scorpio. Funny thing is, however, so is she.

Tell me your Mother-In-Law stories cuz you know I'm gonna keep sharing mine.

Anywhere But Here...

I find myself wishing my time away. I love my life, my family, my friends. Everything.

But I tend to focus on upcoming trips or upcoming events instead of being present all the time.

I love doing research for trips I'm going to take & picking places to eat, where to stay, what to see. I love it!

I have a great job but I alternate between working & pricing trips to Hawaii or Mexico. With the kid, without the kid. Trips to the Bahamas. Wherever.

True, I usually end up taking these trips & I feel confident I find the best deal & the best place to stay but it takes a lot of time to come up with these plans.

How much money is my time really worth? I don't take time away from my family for this stuff, it's really just from work.

I work from home & if I wasn't tapping away at the computer between calls & e-mails I would be watching tv, which incidentally is paused on the Travel Channel at this very second. Or I'd get up & make a snack, which is an on-going issue in my weight battle. I could also spend the time shopping on-line. That would really piss off my hubby.

So I fantasize about vacations. Examine kids programs at hotels & would I really leave my child in one in Mexico? Probably not. The next family vacation will likely be to Maui in the spring. But only if I can find a really good deal.

I also mess mess around on Facebook but that leaves a trail of evidence. I'm not so easy to spot on Expedia, Travelocity or Cheap Hotels.

Have a great day...

Too Full To...

I have to be careful when I go out on a date with my hubby because if I eat too much or drink too much I will just pass out & then it ruins date night for him.

He knows that especially if I eat too much, there is no sex in his immediate future.

Am I the only one this happens to?

Sometimes I share too much information, but this is a conversation I always have in my mind. Maybe I'll just attack him before I even get ready & then I can get as full & as drunk as I want!

Hope everyone has a great weekend...

Do You Feel Lucky?

Luck seems to come up as a topic in my life quite frequently.

"You're so lucky." "She's so lucky." "I'm so unlucky."

Do you believe in luck?

I feel I'm fortunate but I believe most success is based on good decisions.

Just today my friend was telling me that she was offended by something her single, thirty-something friend said to her: "You were so lucky to meet your husband when you were younger."

It made me wonder: Was I lucky to meet my husband at a relatively young age? Yes. Did I realize what a perfect find he was for me & make the right decision to hold on to him & marry him? Yes.

I believe luck & timing are interchangeable. My former boss, a woman I both admire & adore, told me again & again that timing is everything.

You can make a poor decision at an innocuous time & there are no serious repercussions. You go home, you wake up the next day, you feel bad, you learn a lesson.

But you can make the same poor decision at a bad time & it spirals. Things go from bad to worse. You wake up the next day & have to continue dealing with that poor decision & its consequences & that can seem like bad luck.

Did you get unlucky or did you make a poor decision that led to bad luck?

Just make a good decision to begin with & the luck will come. Although with good decisions, it's not really luck :)