Monday, December 12, 2011
Men Should Not Douche...
Anthony Bourdain's new show The Layover is in Miami & he has said variations of the word douche over a dozen times so far...I hate the use of that word & it is really offending me & I am always shocked when I find something offensive. No need to comment to concur or defend, I just had to send it out to the universe. Thank you - that is all...
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sometimes It's Cold in China...
Heard the most hilarious story today from a friend & have to share - I promised not to use her name.
She has two boys & they are constantly walking in on her getting dressed. Doesn't happen so much in my house because my son hates it when I scream at him. But I digress.
The family was getting ready to head up to the snow to cut Christmas trees & her five year old walked in on her pulling on her panties & she had a feminine napkin (ha ha) in place. He asked if that was to keep her china warm in the snow.
She said yes, it was, but it's a vagina not a china. So he walked around practicing saying vagina.
Damn she's a better Mom than me & I love her for sharing.
Hope you had a chuckle & have a wonderful night...
She has two boys & they are constantly walking in on her getting dressed. Doesn't happen so much in my house because my son hates it when I scream at him. But I digress.
The family was getting ready to head up to the snow to cut Christmas trees & her five year old walked in on her pulling on her panties & she had a feminine napkin (ha ha) in place. He asked if that was to keep her china warm in the snow.
She said yes, it was, but it's a vagina not a china. So he walked around practicing saying vagina.
Damn she's a better Mom than me & I love her for sharing.
Hope you had a chuckle & have a wonderful night...
Friday, November 25, 2011
You Say Germaphobe, I Say Germaphobe...
Another thing my Mother always told me was:
"The only normal people are just the ones you don't know very well."
And I believe that for sure. None of us is normal. If there even is such a thing.
I'm pretty open about my oddities. I drink too much. I eat too much. I have all types of addiction problems. These are the things I struggle with but.....
What about my weirdness that I like? That I enjoy? That help make me me?
My friend told me tonight that I'm getting weird in my old age - & I told her to fuck off for the old age comment - but it was about my germaphobia which is in fact becoming more pronounced.
And I don't mind it. I don't want a half of a bucket of month old ice cream to serve at my kid's birthday party tomorrow. When she offered it I laughed & said I'm sorry, but have we not met? Do you really think I would ever take serve or eat month old ice cream? And she had the flu last week & I was supposed to cook at her house & I backed out even though she assured me she had Lysoled the entire house.
I'm ok with these phobias. And every time I find a hair in my food at a restaurant it is reconfirmed to me that I must be vigilant. That they are out to get me.
At the poker table a few weeks ago a man sneezed into his hands three times next to me & I sat quietly for 2 seconds before I suggested
that perhaps next time he could sneeze into his sleeve instead of into his hands since we all handle the chips & the cards. The guy on his other side said I second that request & the girl next to him held out hand sanitizer for him to use. I know it's not just me.
If I really thought about the amount of germs that were on the poker chips or cards I would go crazy but I'd still be playing. I attribute my
healthy immune system to playing poker & my germy 7 year old.
I have other weirdnesses, too, that I like & choose to keep. I don't think all isms & ishes, as I call them, are bad. They keep you aware & focused.
Stay weird. I like it. Have a good night...
"The only normal people are just the ones you don't know very well."
And I believe that for sure. None of us is normal. If there even is such a thing.
I'm pretty open about my oddities. I drink too much. I eat too much. I have all types of addiction problems. These are the things I struggle with but.....
What about my weirdness that I like? That I enjoy? That help make me me?
My friend told me tonight that I'm getting weird in my old age - & I told her to fuck off for the old age comment - but it was about my germaphobia which is in fact becoming more pronounced.
And I don't mind it. I don't want a half of a bucket of month old ice cream to serve at my kid's birthday party tomorrow. When she offered it I laughed & said I'm sorry, but have we not met? Do you really think I would ever take serve or eat month old ice cream? And she had the flu last week & I was supposed to cook at her house & I backed out even though she assured me she had Lysoled the entire house.
I'm ok with these phobias. And every time I find a hair in my food at a restaurant it is reconfirmed to me that I must be vigilant. That they are out to get me.
At the poker table a few weeks ago a man sneezed into his hands three times next to me & I sat quietly for 2 seconds before I suggested
that perhaps next time he could sneeze into his sleeve instead of into his hands since we all handle the chips & the cards. The guy on his other side said I second that request & the girl next to him held out hand sanitizer for him to use. I know it's not just me.
If I really thought about the amount of germs that were on the poker chips or cards I would go crazy but I'd still be playing. I attribute my
healthy immune system to playing poker & my germy 7 year old.
I have other weirdnesses, too, that I like & choose to keep. I don't think all isms & ishes, as I call them, are bad. They keep you aware & focused.
Stay weird. I like it. Have a good night...
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
The Other Shoe...
I like black shoes. I have a whole bunch of them.
So not what I was going to write about but it's what popped into my head.
I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. My life is going amazingly well right now. Work, personal, everything is fantastic. Of course I still need to lose weight but if I didn't have that then I really wouldn't be me now would I?
I don't even know what waiting for the other shoe to drop means. I'll look it up real quick & have an answer. Hold on & I'll be back in a second...
It means waiting for something bad to happen which you are expecting.
It comes from a famous music hall joke about a man who is woken by the drunk upstairs dropping his shoe. He can't get back to sleep because he is waiting for the second crash on the ceiling. Eventually he shouts upstairs "For Heavens sake, drop the other shoe!"
OR
The origin most likely was known in the 1950's. A British sitcom depicted an individual who lived in an apartment beneath a man who worked nights. The person in the lower apartment would be sound asleep when the tenant of the upper apartment came home. The tenant in the upper apartment would sit on the edge of the bed to take his shoes off. The first shoe hit the floor with a loud bang, awakening the sleeping tenant in the lower apartment. The groggy neighbor would remain awake until he heard the other shoe drop. The tenant in the upper apartment would remember that he had a sleeping neighbor below, and take the second shoe off and carefully place it on the floor, making no noise. The groggy neighbor would then yell, "For God's sake, drop the other shoe!"
And you know I like the first one the best.
I always expect things to go wrong. I'm always prepared for them. I hate surprises almost all of the time. Occasionally they're ok but I really like to be prepared.
I love the Fall but this time of year brings so many changes already that when everything is going so wonderfully is the very time when I get the most nervous about bad things happening.
Nothing in particular, just really, how long can things go well? Something has to happen to mess it all up eventually. And it will. But right now I'm just trying to stay in my moments of happiness. Not worrying about some impending things that have to happen. Life happens. Laughter happens. Love happens. Death happens.
But right now, I am so happy & life is going so well I'll just try to enjoy it...
Hope it's going well for you, too!
So not what I was going to write about but it's what popped into my head.
I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. My life is going amazingly well right now. Work, personal, everything is fantastic. Of course I still need to lose weight but if I didn't have that then I really wouldn't be me now would I?
I don't even know what waiting for the other shoe to drop means. I'll look it up real quick & have an answer. Hold on & I'll be back in a second...
It means waiting for something bad to happen which you are expecting.
It comes from a famous music hall joke about a man who is woken by the drunk upstairs dropping his shoe. He can't get back to sleep because he is waiting for the second crash on the ceiling. Eventually he shouts upstairs "For Heavens sake, drop the other shoe!"
OR
The origin most likely was known in the 1950's. A British sitcom depicted an individual who lived in an apartment beneath a man who worked nights. The person in the lower apartment would be sound asleep when the tenant of the upper apartment came home. The tenant in the upper apartment would sit on the edge of the bed to take his shoes off. The first shoe hit the floor with a loud bang, awakening the sleeping tenant in the lower apartment. The groggy neighbor would remain awake until he heard the other shoe drop. The tenant in the upper apartment would remember that he had a sleeping neighbor below, and take the second shoe off and carefully place it on the floor, making no noise. The groggy neighbor would then yell, "For God's sake, drop the other shoe!"
And you know I like the first one the best.
I always expect things to go wrong. I'm always prepared for them. I hate surprises almost all of the time. Occasionally they're ok but I really like to be prepared.
I love the Fall but this time of year brings so many changes already that when everything is going so wonderfully is the very time when I get the most nervous about bad things happening.
Nothing in particular, just really, how long can things go well? Something has to happen to mess it all up eventually. And it will. But right now I'm just trying to stay in my moments of happiness. Not worrying about some impending things that have to happen. Life happens. Laughter happens. Love happens. Death happens.
But right now, I am so happy & life is going so well I'll just try to enjoy it...
Hope it's going well for you, too!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Love Lasts...
This evening someone told me they loved me. That they always will. What an amazing thing to hear. To feel. To understand.
And I told them that love always lasts. At the very least as an echo.
I believe that. I think once you love someone it's always a part of you. Not necessarily a large part but an important part. Every time I've ever loved someone it's changed me. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.
I always appreciate the change love brings. The experience. Even if it doesn't remain in the forefront or perhaps you can't even remember it the echo of the change is still in you.
I have to believe that some part of love lingers.
When I see couples get divorced & hate each other after they've split I try to imagine that they once loved each other enough to get married. Or enough to build a family together.
The venom I've seen between exes makes it hard to believe. But I have to believe.
I realize that sometimes relative strangers have kids together through chance or accident but when people were married & had families & shared love I can't believe it ever completely goes away.
Damaged as I am, oh & I am fucking damaged, I have to believe that something remains.
"Love always lasts. At the very least as an echo..."
Have a wonderful night ~ missed writing this thing. Maybe I'll start up again...
And I told them that love always lasts. At the very least as an echo.
I believe that. I think once you love someone it's always a part of you. Not necessarily a large part but an important part. Every time I've ever loved someone it's changed me. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.
I always appreciate the change love brings. The experience. Even if it doesn't remain in the forefront or perhaps you can't even remember it the echo of the change is still in you.
I have to believe that some part of love lingers.
When I see couples get divorced & hate each other after they've split I try to imagine that they once loved each other enough to get married. Or enough to build a family together.
The venom I've seen between exes makes it hard to believe. But I have to believe.
I realize that sometimes relative strangers have kids together through chance or accident but when people were married & had families & shared love I can't believe it ever completely goes away.
Damaged as I am, oh & I am fucking damaged, I have to believe that something remains.
"Love always lasts. At the very least as an echo..."
Have a wonderful night ~ missed writing this thing. Maybe I'll start up again...
Monday, April 25, 2011
Guilty but Loyal...
What's the statute of limitations on guilt when you did something treacherous on behalf of someone you love?
And when there's absolutely nothing you could or would do to correct it & would probably do the same exact thing no matter how many times you relived it?
Is guilt just a naturally occurring emotion or do we create it?
And when there's absolutely nothing you could or would do to correct it & would probably do the same exact thing no matter how many times you relived it?
Is guilt just a naturally occurring emotion or do we create it?
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Acting Out...
What to do when you're mid to late 30's & find yourself acting out?
Doesn't that end when you're a kid? Is it a version of a midlife crisis?
Men get sports cars & sometimes younger women.
Me? I guess I'll take trips, buy purses & play poker...
Doesn't that end when you're a kid? Is it a version of a midlife crisis?
Men get sports cars & sometimes younger women.
Me? I guess I'll take trips, buy purses & play poker...
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Memories...
My husband says I look back too often. He says I never, ever forget a slight or something bad that happens & yet I completely disregard the good things.
I don't feel that way. But I do.
I just reread a few of my blog posts & couldn't help but wonder am I an upper or a downer? Depending on who you are would depend on how you would answer.
I would say Robyn could answer the best. I hope she thinks I'm an upper but she also knows I can be such a downer. It's her own fault because she's the only one I share everything with. If she wasn't such a good friend I would leave her in peace & just be bubbly fake with her all the time.
This morning she pissed me off though. I told her that I had seen Mrs. Cornelius at the North Cow Creek Fund Raiser this weekend & that I was so thrilled to see her. She was my favorite teacher & she totally changed the course of my life.
Robyn asked why. I wanted to punch her. I had dropped out of AP classes for a couple of reasons my senior year: I didn't want to work that hard & I wanted to have Mrs. Cornelius again for English. So when I got to my first period College Prep English class & we were seated alphabetically there I landed behind Robyn.
Our Moms had always been friends & encouraged us to be friends but we just didn't really like each other. So we rolled our eyes as I took my seat behind her.
But then a funny thing happened ~ we began to be friends. And then my parents wouldn't let me go visit Angela at UC Santa Cruz unless I took a friend with me so I asked Robyn. I told her my dilemma: Look, my parents won't let me go unless someone comes with me & you know your Mom will totally let you go if it's with me, so come.
The rest is history.
Ancient history, in fact, because Robyn forgot all about it until I reminded her this morning. She says it has nothing to do with how much she loves me it's more a matter of how she's going to have Alzheimer's by the time she's 50. Fine with me. I'll be her memory for her.
The point of my story is that I do remember the good things, too. I remember everything. I'm an elephant. But for me it's just harder to shake the bad memories while the good memories are fleeting.
The hubby tells me to focus on the 95-97% of my life that is amazing & fucking get over the rest of it. Men are so simple. Must be nice.
One more quick ramble so as not to slight someone else that also holds a grudge ~ I will always, always remember joining Lise under a tree in Chico at a Volleyball tournament. One of the best moves I ever made.
You never know when a choice you make or a person you meet might take your life in a completely new direction. I still keep my eyes open for the opportunities that come along.
Have a wonderful day!
I don't feel that way. But I do.
I just reread a few of my blog posts & couldn't help but wonder am I an upper or a downer? Depending on who you are would depend on how you would answer.
I would say Robyn could answer the best. I hope she thinks I'm an upper but she also knows I can be such a downer. It's her own fault because she's the only one I share everything with. If she wasn't such a good friend I would leave her in peace & just be bubbly fake with her all the time.
This morning she pissed me off though. I told her that I had seen Mrs. Cornelius at the North Cow Creek Fund Raiser this weekend & that I was so thrilled to see her. She was my favorite teacher & she totally changed the course of my life.
Robyn asked why. I wanted to punch her. I had dropped out of AP classes for a couple of reasons my senior year: I didn't want to work that hard & I wanted to have Mrs. Cornelius again for English. So when I got to my first period College Prep English class & we were seated alphabetically there I landed behind Robyn.
Our Moms had always been friends & encouraged us to be friends but we just didn't really like each other. So we rolled our eyes as I took my seat behind her.
But then a funny thing happened ~ we began to be friends. And then my parents wouldn't let me go visit Angela at UC Santa Cruz unless I took a friend with me so I asked Robyn. I told her my dilemma: Look, my parents won't let me go unless someone comes with me & you know your Mom will totally let you go if it's with me, so come.
The rest is history.
Ancient history, in fact, because Robyn forgot all about it until I reminded her this morning. She says it has nothing to do with how much she loves me it's more a matter of how she's going to have Alzheimer's by the time she's 50. Fine with me. I'll be her memory for her.
The point of my story is that I do remember the good things, too. I remember everything. I'm an elephant. But for me it's just harder to shake the bad memories while the good memories are fleeting.
The hubby tells me to focus on the 95-97% of my life that is amazing & fucking get over the rest of it. Men are so simple. Must be nice.
One more quick ramble so as not to slight someone else that also holds a grudge ~ I will always, always remember joining Lise under a tree in Chico at a Volleyball tournament. One of the best moves I ever made.
You never know when a choice you make or a person you meet might take your life in a completely new direction. I still keep my eyes open for the opportunities that come along.
Have a wonderful day!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Sucked In...
I am so annoyed with myself.
I still read Perez Hilton most days. He's not as mean any longer, which is refreshing but he still is a gossipy little beeyatch which I love.
He posted a story about a tweet by Lindsay Lohan about a photo of her & Puff Daddy that uploaded to Twitter right after her court appearance ~ side bar
Did I really just type that? Do I really have this useless fucking knowledge in my head? Why yes, yes I do. So funny & yet so sad!
Anyway, she wanted to express that the photo just accidentally uploaded or whatever crap she was spewing & that she was taking it seriously & that what she wore to court should not be front page news.
So today when I saw her court appearance story on the Yahoo News Feed my first thought was "What did she wear?"
OMG!
I'm just so embarrassed that was the first thought that jumped into my head! Not the fact that she may be a thief, liar, &/or drug abuser ~ but what was she wearing. Really?! Good PR work Ms. Lohan. Good PR work!
I guess I'm a teenage fashionista disguised as a frumpy but fabulous late thirties "Wom".
My new acronym I just made up ~ Wife & Mom = Wom. Or Wommy sounds better ~ Wife & Mommy.
Have a great day!
I still read Perez Hilton most days. He's not as mean any longer, which is refreshing but he still is a gossipy little beeyatch which I love.
He posted a story about a tweet by Lindsay Lohan about a photo of her & Puff Daddy that uploaded to Twitter right after her court appearance ~ side bar
Did I really just type that? Do I really have this useless fucking knowledge in my head? Why yes, yes I do. So funny & yet so sad!
Anyway, she wanted to express that the photo just accidentally uploaded or whatever crap she was spewing & that she was taking it seriously & that what she wore to court should not be front page news.
So today when I saw her court appearance story on the Yahoo News Feed my first thought was "What did she wear?"
OMG!
I'm just so embarrassed that was the first thought that jumped into my head! Not the fact that she may be a thief, liar, &/or drug abuser ~ but what was she wearing. Really?! Good PR work Ms. Lohan. Good PR work!
I guess I'm a teenage fashionista disguised as a frumpy but fabulous late thirties "Wom".
My new acronym I just made up ~ Wife & Mom = Wom. Or Wommy sounds better ~ Wife & Mommy.
Have a great day!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
The Money Talk...
Does every couple fight about money?!
I know we do. And it's ridiculous. I don't care who you are or how much money you have, one of you is likely gonna be a saver & one of you is likely gonna be a spender. What's really tough is if you're both spenders. And if you're both savers then you're probably not reading this blog because you're not my friend. Except for you there in Colorado. You're my friend but you're an anomaly :)
Anyway, I'm the spender. Thankfully I have a really good job so I can back my game up but my spending habits still keep my husband awake at night.
Seriously. It's ridiculous because we are doing fine. But I could reign in my spending. I should.
But he had to have the talk with me yesterday morning the day before his birthday so now he is on my last fucking nerve still today & it is his birthday. So unfortunate.
Perhaps I should consider it his birthday gift that I let him sit me down & have the money talk with me. I get it once a year or so. Mostly before we do my books. I'm self-employed & I usually owe taxes. This year I might not but I won't get much back & I'll still owe large quarterlies.
I've had a few slow months which hasn't helped & we did a helluva lot of traveling last year. And then Christmas & our Maui trip & our new washer & dryer (the old ones broke) all came due at the exact same time that my commission checks took a dive so it all came crashing down on me yesterday. I guess it's been ponging around in his head since January.
Men are so odd. I can't stew that long. I have to explode & then it's over.
But now I'm annoyed with him. Because yesterday he told me that it's been bothering him for a few weeks. I hate when things slip past me. If something's bugging him or on his mind I want to know about it. If something's bothering me for a few weeks you can sure as shit bet that I'm gonna tell him about it.
It makes me not trust my read on him. It's like, what else have I been missing? In a bitchy way, yes, I'm pissed that it got past me that something was bothering him. But also in a concerned way because if something was bothering him I should have noticed & tried to find out what it was & how I could help. Am I so self-absorbed that I don't recognize a problem with this man that I love? Although I do kinda hate him at this moment :)
Poor guy, literally & figuratively. He just can't win.
I'm back to blogging people ~ I've missed you!
I know we do. And it's ridiculous. I don't care who you are or how much money you have, one of you is likely gonna be a saver & one of you is likely gonna be a spender. What's really tough is if you're both spenders. And if you're both savers then you're probably not reading this blog because you're not my friend. Except for you there in Colorado. You're my friend but you're an anomaly :)
Anyway, I'm the spender. Thankfully I have a really good job so I can back my game up but my spending habits still keep my husband awake at night.
Seriously. It's ridiculous because we are doing fine. But I could reign in my spending. I should.
But he had to have the talk with me yesterday morning the day before his birthday so now he is on my last fucking nerve still today & it is his birthday. So unfortunate.
Perhaps I should consider it his birthday gift that I let him sit me down & have the money talk with me. I get it once a year or so. Mostly before we do my books. I'm self-employed & I usually owe taxes. This year I might not but I won't get much back & I'll still owe large quarterlies.
I've had a few slow months which hasn't helped & we did a helluva lot of traveling last year. And then Christmas & our Maui trip & our new washer & dryer (the old ones broke) all came due at the exact same time that my commission checks took a dive so it all came crashing down on me yesterday. I guess it's been ponging around in his head since January.
Men are so odd. I can't stew that long. I have to explode & then it's over.
But now I'm annoyed with him. Because yesterday he told me that it's been bothering him for a few weeks. I hate when things slip past me. If something's bugging him or on his mind I want to know about it. If something's bothering me for a few weeks you can sure as shit bet that I'm gonna tell him about it.
It makes me not trust my read on him. It's like, what else have I been missing? In a bitchy way, yes, I'm pissed that it got past me that something was bothering him. But also in a concerned way because if something was bothering him I should have noticed & tried to find out what it was & how I could help. Am I so self-absorbed that I don't recognize a problem with this man that I love? Although I do kinda hate him at this moment :)
Poor guy, literally & figuratively. He just can't win.
I'm back to blogging people ~ I've missed you!
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Sexy Dreams...
I've been all serious lately & want to take it back to what I consider a fun topic. But I still seriously need to vent about it.
The things that go on in my head sometimes just need to be let out. And this might be tmi but I'm gonna blog all about it anyway...
I tend to be an insomniac. A lot of it is self-imposed because I just don't want to go to bed but often I'll try & just cannot sleep. I usually get up & blog, mess around on facebook or even play poker online. I actually don't usually watch tv.
Anyway, I went to bed after blogging on Tuesday night. I had already been to bed once, if you know what I mean, & gotten back up after that was all through. And it was fun. And it was pretty good & even wild for a Tuesday night which is where I'm going with the point of my story.
I finally go to bed at 3am & lay there for 30 minutes listening to my hubby having a sexy dream. He's laughing & moaning & groaning but he never really talks.
I was actually torn between being totally amused & being quite jealous. I listened, ready to pounce on him if he said anyones name. I was so gonna bust him if he did. But then I thought I was being totally unreasonable because it's not his fault if he dreams about someone else. But that being said, I still knew I was going to be furious if he did say someones name other than mine.
Totally silly post but I had to share. Thanks for laughing with/at me.
The things that go on in my head sometimes just need to be let out. And this might be tmi but I'm gonna blog all about it anyway...
I tend to be an insomniac. A lot of it is self-imposed because I just don't want to go to bed but often I'll try & just cannot sleep. I usually get up & blog, mess around on facebook or even play poker online. I actually don't usually watch tv.
Anyway, I went to bed after blogging on Tuesday night. I had already been to bed once, if you know what I mean, & gotten back up after that was all through. And it was fun. And it was pretty good & even wild for a Tuesday night which is where I'm going with the point of my story.
I finally go to bed at 3am & lay there for 30 minutes listening to my hubby having a sexy dream. He's laughing & moaning & groaning but he never really talks.
I was actually torn between being totally amused & being quite jealous. I listened, ready to pounce on him if he said anyones name. I was so gonna bust him if he did. But then I thought I was being totally unreasonable because it's not his fault if he dreams about someone else. But that being said, I still knew I was going to be furious if he did say someones name other than mine.
Totally silly post but I had to share. Thanks for laughing with/at me.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Women's Fund...
I don't typically discuss politics. And I'm not going to do that now either because I think that women's issues are not about politics. Women's issues are just that ~ women's issues.
Say women's choices, however, & it makes it sound like politics. I'll stick to issues.
I went to a Women's Fund Forum today where the chosen topic was Teen Pregnancy. It was actually the topic that I had suggested so I was pleased that they had included all types of health care & education providers.
However, they only had speakers that were offering either statistics regarding teen births in Shasta County or Cal-Safe, which is basically Mary Street School for teen moms. Their agenda was to propel girls toward having & keeping their babies & continuing their education.
That's an excellent choice if that's a woman's decision, but that was really the only "choice" presented.
My problems with this forum were several:
The health care providers that attended were relegated to the rear of the room & not the podium & were never really given a chance to speak.
There was an inherent uncomfortableness in the room the two times the word abortion & emergency contraception were mentioned.
There was also that same discomfort when the topic turned toward sex education in the schools.
The Shasta County School Superintendent proudly said that all freshman were required to take Personal Growth. My same-aged friend & I had whispered to each other not 10 seconds before he brought it up what a joke Personal Growth had been in 9th grade.
And it really doesn't have to be a joke. If they could just separate the boys & the girls into different classrooms so it could be taken more seriously. 14 & 15 year old kids are going to behave immaturely in a coed environment in response to sexual material.
And this is what I said at the forum. I think when I one-on-one explained my position & why I popped out with "but we were just discussing that 9th grade Personal Growth was a joke" my comment was better understood.
Sometimes it just bubbles over & I say what I think. It happens more & more as I'm getting older.
I believe that there are some fundamental problems in this county & a huge example was demonstrated to me today: There is such a large distance between the women that are involved in strategies for helping these potential teen moms, both in age & economics, that the problem can't really even be put into relativity for this forum.
I'm approaching my late thirties & I feel removed but still a witness in my own life to teen moms that I have close to me. I see the things they give up & the things they have irretrievably lost.
I know they love their children & would not trade them for anything but if they were to tell younger girls if they would have waited if they could do it again I believe they would.
I just don't think that topic was suggested today. It was all about the Grandma's oohhing & aahhing at the photos of the teen moms' babies put in the power point. Or the video of a success story that brought her baby to the forum that totally moved me to tears but she was only one doing well out of hundreds in this county that aren't making it.
I don't know where I'm going with this. I love the Women's Fund & I'm proud to be a part of it. And I applaud anyone & everyone that gets involved.
Getting involved in anything is so valuable.
Join the fight. What fight? Any fight.
I just feel that the age & economics of those involved should be better reflected by the population. It feels kind of like Little Orphan Annie giving right now.
I shouldn't even post this but I will because it's on my mind & I'm still riled up about it tonight.
I did meet & talk to & became facebook friends with the Clinic Manager of Women's Health Specialists. That made it a wonderful day.
And I spoke up & spoke my mind at the forum & I'm speaking it now. I'll always stand by what I say & what I believe, even if it makes me uncomfortable.
And I'll continue to be involved in the Women's Fund because I believe in the mission. And I know the founders believe in the mission, too.
I just wish more of my friends could be involved. But it's a time & money commitment that most of them can't afford. That's why the age & economic gaps are so big.
I try to be neutral about many things but I am so passionate about Teen Pregnancy. I just believe in my heart it's the fastest track to poverty that you can pave.
Have a thoughtful night.
Say women's choices, however, & it makes it sound like politics. I'll stick to issues.
I went to a Women's Fund Forum today where the chosen topic was Teen Pregnancy. It was actually the topic that I had suggested so I was pleased that they had included all types of health care & education providers.
However, they only had speakers that were offering either statistics regarding teen births in Shasta County or Cal-Safe, which is basically Mary Street School for teen moms. Their agenda was to propel girls toward having & keeping their babies & continuing their education.
That's an excellent choice if that's a woman's decision, but that was really the only "choice" presented.
My problems with this forum were several:
The health care providers that attended were relegated to the rear of the room & not the podium & were never really given a chance to speak.
There was an inherent uncomfortableness in the room the two times the word abortion & emergency contraception were mentioned.
There was also that same discomfort when the topic turned toward sex education in the schools.
The Shasta County School Superintendent proudly said that all freshman were required to take Personal Growth. My same-aged friend & I had whispered to each other not 10 seconds before he brought it up what a joke Personal Growth had been in 9th grade.
And it really doesn't have to be a joke. If they could just separate the boys & the girls into different classrooms so it could be taken more seriously. 14 & 15 year old kids are going to behave immaturely in a coed environment in response to sexual material.
And this is what I said at the forum. I think when I one-on-one explained my position & why I popped out with "but we were just discussing that 9th grade Personal Growth was a joke" my comment was better understood.
Sometimes it just bubbles over & I say what I think. It happens more & more as I'm getting older.
I believe that there are some fundamental problems in this county & a huge example was demonstrated to me today: There is such a large distance between the women that are involved in strategies for helping these potential teen moms, both in age & economics, that the problem can't really even be put into relativity for this forum.
I'm approaching my late thirties & I feel removed but still a witness in my own life to teen moms that I have close to me. I see the things they give up & the things they have irretrievably lost.
I know they love their children & would not trade them for anything but if they were to tell younger girls if they would have waited if they could do it again I believe they would.
I just don't think that topic was suggested today. It was all about the Grandma's oohhing & aahhing at the photos of the teen moms' babies put in the power point. Or the video of a success story that brought her baby to the forum that totally moved me to tears but she was only one doing well out of hundreds in this county that aren't making it.
I don't know where I'm going with this. I love the Women's Fund & I'm proud to be a part of it. And I applaud anyone & everyone that gets involved.
Getting involved in anything is so valuable.
Join the fight. What fight? Any fight.
I just feel that the age & economics of those involved should be better reflected by the population. It feels kind of like Little Orphan Annie giving right now.
I shouldn't even post this but I will because it's on my mind & I'm still riled up about it tonight.
I did meet & talk to & became facebook friends with the Clinic Manager of Women's Health Specialists. That made it a wonderful day.
And I spoke up & spoke my mind at the forum & I'm speaking it now. I'll always stand by what I say & what I believe, even if it makes me uncomfortable.
And I'll continue to be involved in the Women's Fund because I believe in the mission. And I know the founders believe in the mission, too.
I just wish more of my friends could be involved. But it's a time & money commitment that most of them can't afford. That's why the age & economic gaps are so big.
I try to be neutral about many things but I am so passionate about Teen Pregnancy. I just believe in my heart it's the fastest track to poverty that you can pave.
Have a thoughtful night.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Other People's Lives...
I've learned many things from my Mom. Here are a few examples:
Never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut ~ Something I so have not mastered.
One of the most difficult things in life is to see the traits you most dislike in yourself emerge in your children ~ The way I hold a grudge, just like my Mother. I'm even worse.
People can tolerate just about anything in someone else, except success ~ That's my blog all about it tonight.
This topic comes up often between my Mom & me. It's funny. I'm really open about my life. Obviously as you can read here whenever you want. And my Mom is one of the most private & quiet people you'll ever meet.
I struggle. I have negative feelings all the time. I have a weight problem that I am always dealing with that really creates a lot of nasty inner dialogue between me, myself & I.
But I have a very happy marriage. I have a wonderful son & an amazing family. We are very fortunate to have successful careers & a beautiful home & can really do whatever we want at this point. But we can't do nothing. We're not there yet. So as much as the hubby would love to retire, I won't let him.
I always joke that if I didn't have a weight problem I'd really be intolerable ;)
This blogspot came from my conversation the other night with my Mom about the way I, & lots of other otherwise seemingly nice, normal people, always look at the Redding Mugshots.
My Mom says we delight in other people's misery. I don't think it's that. I think it's curiosity.
And to me, it's a reminder to me to not drink & drive because I'll be up there.
A friend of mine told me a few nights ago that the owner of CR Gibbs told him that since Redding Mugshots has become so popular that his alcohol revenue is way down. That all the bars & restaurants in town are saying the same thing.
My Mom got a kick out of that. Not the going to jail or danger or the fines but the public humiliation is what will slow down drinking & driving. So be it, she said.
Not only do I look at the Mugshots but I read the foreclosures in the newspaper. And when the delinquent property tax listings are published I scour those.
I don't know why. I don't wish bad things for my friends or acquaintances. I'm just curious.
A lot of it is seeing that things aren't always as they appear. People that act like they have lots of money may have properties in foreclosure or be way behind on taxes. And I don't care who you are or how much money you have you are gonna look tore up & bewildered in a mugshot.
So do I like to see people messing up? No. Do I like to see people doing way better than me? No way. But I would rather see them doing better than me than messing up. But sometimes it's a pretty close call ;)
At least I'm honest. And curious.
This whole idea is ponging around in my head. I'm gonna write more on it later but I have to think about it more. Share your thoughts, too, please.
Have a great night!
Never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut ~ Something I so have not mastered.
One of the most difficult things in life is to see the traits you most dislike in yourself emerge in your children ~ The way I hold a grudge, just like my Mother. I'm even worse.
People can tolerate just about anything in someone else, except success ~ That's my blog all about it tonight.
This topic comes up often between my Mom & me. It's funny. I'm really open about my life. Obviously as you can read here whenever you want. And my Mom is one of the most private & quiet people you'll ever meet.
I struggle. I have negative feelings all the time. I have a weight problem that I am always dealing with that really creates a lot of nasty inner dialogue between me, myself & I.
But I have a very happy marriage. I have a wonderful son & an amazing family. We are very fortunate to have successful careers & a beautiful home & can really do whatever we want at this point. But we can't do nothing. We're not there yet. So as much as the hubby would love to retire, I won't let him.
I always joke that if I didn't have a weight problem I'd really be intolerable ;)
This blogspot came from my conversation the other night with my Mom about the way I, & lots of other otherwise seemingly nice, normal people, always look at the Redding Mugshots.
My Mom says we delight in other people's misery. I don't think it's that. I think it's curiosity.
And to me, it's a reminder to me to not drink & drive because I'll be up there.
A friend of mine told me a few nights ago that the owner of CR Gibbs told him that since Redding Mugshots has become so popular that his alcohol revenue is way down. That all the bars & restaurants in town are saying the same thing.
My Mom got a kick out of that. Not the going to jail or danger or the fines but the public humiliation is what will slow down drinking & driving. So be it, she said.
Not only do I look at the Mugshots but I read the foreclosures in the newspaper. And when the delinquent property tax listings are published I scour those.
I don't know why. I don't wish bad things for my friends or acquaintances. I'm just curious.
A lot of it is seeing that things aren't always as they appear. People that act like they have lots of money may have properties in foreclosure or be way behind on taxes. And I don't care who you are or how much money you have you are gonna look tore up & bewildered in a mugshot.
So do I like to see people messing up? No. Do I like to see people doing way better than me? No way. But I would rather see them doing better than me than messing up. But sometimes it's a pretty close call ;)
At least I'm honest. And curious.
This whole idea is ponging around in my head. I'm gonna write more on it later but I have to think about it more. Share your thoughts, too, please.
Have a great night!
Friday, October 15, 2010
I Love the Fall...
I love the Fall. It's my favorite season. So many wonderful happenings!
It's Halloween. It's my birthday. It's my son's birthday and then Thanksgiving ~ same day this year, actually.
It's the best weather.
It's the colors. I love Orange.
And then fall leads to winter & Christmas. I love the Holiday Season. I'm really looking forward to it this year.
I just put up my Halloween decorations. And I did the same dumb thing I do each year. I am never happy with my door decoration so I find somewhere else to hang the old one & go excitedly buy a new one. I get it home & then I remember why the last one didn't work & why this one doesn't either: It covers the peep hole.
Awesome. I did it again this morning. Every single year. Whatever, it looks totally cute hanging from my wall mirror with hooks in the hallway.
But now what to do with the front door? Back to the store to buy the orange & black wreath I had planned to buy but instead bought the beautiful witch hat with Happy Halloween underneath.
This is why my hubby hates me. Because I was debating over a front porch pumpkin display that is so adorable but didn't buy & this afternoon I'm gonna get it as well as the wreath.
I don't really have a shopping problem. I just get what I want with no regard to how much it pisses him off. It's actually a game we play. I buy it. He likes it until the bill comes & then he yells at me & I put my hands up in the air & shrug.
Just like the installing of the Christmas Lights. He likes the way they look, he's not gonna do it & I am going to pay to have it done. He freaks out each & every year at how much it costs.
I work. I contribute financially as well as manage most of the child raising responsibilities. Well, me along with my parents ;)
We manage to save a great deal of my income so I'm gonna buy what I want to buy & do what I want to do. Within reason. If I wasn't reasonable then it would be a problem. He's a serious saver & if my bad habits got in the way of his saving it wouldn't be a game any longer. But so far so good.
Don't we all play our games? And things carry on as they should.
Have a wonderful day!
It's Halloween. It's my birthday. It's my son's birthday and then Thanksgiving ~ same day this year, actually.
It's the best weather.
It's the colors. I love Orange.
And then fall leads to winter & Christmas. I love the Holiday Season. I'm really looking forward to it this year.
I just put up my Halloween decorations. And I did the same dumb thing I do each year. I am never happy with my door decoration so I find somewhere else to hang the old one & go excitedly buy a new one. I get it home & then I remember why the last one didn't work & why this one doesn't either: It covers the peep hole.
Awesome. I did it again this morning. Every single year. Whatever, it looks totally cute hanging from my wall mirror with hooks in the hallway.
But now what to do with the front door? Back to the store to buy the orange & black wreath I had planned to buy but instead bought the beautiful witch hat with Happy Halloween underneath.
This is why my hubby hates me. Because I was debating over a front porch pumpkin display that is so adorable but didn't buy & this afternoon I'm gonna get it as well as the wreath.
I don't really have a shopping problem. I just get what I want with no regard to how much it pisses him off. It's actually a game we play. I buy it. He likes it until the bill comes & then he yells at me & I put my hands up in the air & shrug.
Just like the installing of the Christmas Lights. He likes the way they look, he's not gonna do it & I am going to pay to have it done. He freaks out each & every year at how much it costs.
I work. I contribute financially as well as manage most of the child raising responsibilities. Well, me along with my parents ;)
We manage to save a great deal of my income so I'm gonna buy what I want to buy & do what I want to do. Within reason. If I wasn't reasonable then it would be a problem. He's a serious saver & if my bad habits got in the way of his saving it wouldn't be a game any longer. But so far so good.
Don't we all play our games? And things carry on as they should.
Have a wonderful day!
Monday, October 11, 2010
My Hopes & My Dreams...
My parents always wanted the best for me & my brother. They always told us that they would measure their own success by how successful we were & that they wanted us to achieve so much more than they ever did. They have set the bar pretty high but we're striving for it.
I think that is an amazing way to raise your children. That's how I'm trying to raise my son.
My parents also kept us aware that their standard of living was not our standard of living. So many kids move out & try to have the same lifestyle that their parents' have without recognizing that it took their parents decades to get there.
My parents always told us, sarcastically of course, "We're very rich, you're very poor. We have lots of money, you have none." It sounds horrible in writing but it was such a good value to instill in us. That the things we enjoyed in their house were things we would have to earn & be responsible for on our own.
My son is always going through all the things he could be when he grows up. He mentions dirt bike rider, paleontologist, garbage truck driver, archaeologist. We always tell him that he can be whatever he wants as soon as he finishes college. And that is the truth.
I hope he takes advantage of the opportunities that he will have. He'll have even more than I did. And I didn't take advantage of mine at all. I didn't squander them, certainly, but I didn't appreciate them.
My parents would have paid for me to go anywhere to school & I had the grades to have lots of options, but I went to a party school & I partied. I had lots of fun but it took me several extra years to finish college.
I played on the golf team & was too busy partying to take it seriously.
I hope my son is smarter than I was. From what I can see, he already is.
Some parents seem to want their children to not be as successful as they are. Instead of feeling proud they feel threatened.
I think it's because if a child is more successful than the parent then they won't feel needed any longer. I see that with my Mother-In-Law sometimes. Her favorites are the ones that need her the most. And I see it in her oldest daughter with her children. She does not want them to be more successful than her & her husband.
I will measure my success by the success of my child. He doesn't have to be wealthy but he does have to be happy, well adjusted & satisfied for me to feel like I did my job.
I thank my parents all the time for the values they gave me. And for the pride they show in their children's success.
Have a wonderful day!
I think that is an amazing way to raise your children. That's how I'm trying to raise my son.
My parents also kept us aware that their standard of living was not our standard of living. So many kids move out & try to have the same lifestyle that their parents' have without recognizing that it took their parents decades to get there.
My parents always told us, sarcastically of course, "We're very rich, you're very poor. We have lots of money, you have none." It sounds horrible in writing but it was such a good value to instill in us. That the things we enjoyed in their house were things we would have to earn & be responsible for on our own.
My son is always going through all the things he could be when he grows up. He mentions dirt bike rider, paleontologist, garbage truck driver, archaeologist. We always tell him that he can be whatever he wants as soon as he finishes college. And that is the truth.
I hope he takes advantage of the opportunities that he will have. He'll have even more than I did. And I didn't take advantage of mine at all. I didn't squander them, certainly, but I didn't appreciate them.
My parents would have paid for me to go anywhere to school & I had the grades to have lots of options, but I went to a party school & I partied. I had lots of fun but it took me several extra years to finish college.
I played on the golf team & was too busy partying to take it seriously.
I hope my son is smarter than I was. From what I can see, he already is.
Some parents seem to want their children to not be as successful as they are. Instead of feeling proud they feel threatened.
I think it's because if a child is more successful than the parent then they won't feel needed any longer. I see that with my Mother-In-Law sometimes. Her favorites are the ones that need her the most. And I see it in her oldest daughter with her children. She does not want them to be more successful than her & her husband.
I will measure my success by the success of my child. He doesn't have to be wealthy but he does have to be happy, well adjusted & satisfied for me to feel like I did my job.
I thank my parents all the time for the values they gave me. And for the pride they show in their children's success.
Have a wonderful day!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
I Am Embarrassed to Admit This...
But, it is shockingly easy to become an internet stalker!
I didn't even mean to do what I did. It just happened. Seriously. I am not usually a stalker per say. But sometimes one thing leads to another & I pursue.
So last week I went to San Francisco for work. No big deal. I go often.
But this time of year in the City reminds me of an ex-boyfriend. Super nice guy. Way, way too nice for me. I chewed him up & spit him out, unfortunately. He deserved a much nicer person than me. Hopefully he found her. It seems like it but I digress.
I have to prelude this whole thing with the simple fact that I broke up with him & he actually kind of stalked me for a little while. Lots of hang up phone calls, drove by my house in Redding from San Francisco, showed up at Shasta College from San Francisco looking for me.
But we ended as friends. He met my then boyfriend now hubby & even attended our wedding. He's a successful attorney in the Bay Area & I spoke to him from time to time even after I was married. We drifted apart. It was fine. I have no feelings of what might have been with this fellow. None. So how this happened is intriguing to me.
Anyway, I looked him up on Facebook the night before I was set to leave for my business trip & my hubby was out of town. It started casual. As I said, October in San Francisco reminds me of him.
He wasn't on Facebook.
So I Googled him. He was listed on all sorts of legal pages ~ even saw a photo but it looked quite old. One of the search results listed his name with a female name, same last name, contributors for a charitable organization to which it seemed he would be involved. And it kind of rang a bell that she had the same name as the girl he was living with the last time we spoke, 7 or 8 years ago.
So I looked her up on Facebook. Hundreds of them.
On the second or third page of the Facebook search results there was this smiling face of this woman that I just knew was her. For no reason. I just knew. Or at least I thought I knew so I had to find out. But all her shit was blocked. Smart girl.
Aha, but she had her business website listed. She did event organizing, wedding planning, stuff like that. So seriously the opposite of me. It had to be her.
So I was going through the website, looking at all the events she had done & her last option was for Holiday Greeting Cards.
And there, in the very last section of her website after what had been an hour long hunt, was a tiny example of her work: Her very own Holiday Card. With her lovely family on it. It was him.
I felt so gross after this whole affair albeit a little vindicated that my instincts were spot on when I saw her.
I had to delete my entire search history for that day & hope my hubby wouldn't notice. He would have been slightly bugged & given me a bad time but if it had been the other way around & he was searching for an old girlfriend I would have fucking flipped out.
It's so funny how things can get away from me.
I am really quite ashamed of this ordeal but pretty pleased that I have such skill. Scary!
Wonder who's stalking me? Or who's stalking you? Or who are you stalking?
Have a wonderful night!
I didn't even mean to do what I did. It just happened. Seriously. I am not usually a stalker per say. But sometimes one thing leads to another & I pursue.
So last week I went to San Francisco for work. No big deal. I go often.
But this time of year in the City reminds me of an ex-boyfriend. Super nice guy. Way, way too nice for me. I chewed him up & spit him out, unfortunately. He deserved a much nicer person than me. Hopefully he found her. It seems like it but I digress.
I have to prelude this whole thing with the simple fact that I broke up with him & he actually kind of stalked me for a little while. Lots of hang up phone calls, drove by my house in Redding from San Francisco, showed up at Shasta College from San Francisco looking for me.
But we ended as friends. He met my then boyfriend now hubby & even attended our wedding. He's a successful attorney in the Bay Area & I spoke to him from time to time even after I was married. We drifted apart. It was fine. I have no feelings of what might have been with this fellow. None. So how this happened is intriguing to me.
Anyway, I looked him up on Facebook the night before I was set to leave for my business trip & my hubby was out of town. It started casual. As I said, October in San Francisco reminds me of him.
He wasn't on Facebook.
So I Googled him. He was listed on all sorts of legal pages ~ even saw a photo but it looked quite old. One of the search results listed his name with a female name, same last name, contributors for a charitable organization to which it seemed he would be involved. And it kind of rang a bell that she had the same name as the girl he was living with the last time we spoke, 7 or 8 years ago.
So I looked her up on Facebook. Hundreds of them.
On the second or third page of the Facebook search results there was this smiling face of this woman that I just knew was her. For no reason. I just knew. Or at least I thought I knew so I had to find out. But all her shit was blocked. Smart girl.
Aha, but she had her business website listed. She did event organizing, wedding planning, stuff like that. So seriously the opposite of me. It had to be her.
So I was going through the website, looking at all the events she had done & her last option was for Holiday Greeting Cards.
And there, in the very last section of her website after what had been an hour long hunt, was a tiny example of her work: Her very own Holiday Card. With her lovely family on it. It was him.
I felt so gross after this whole affair albeit a little vindicated that my instincts were spot on when I saw her.
I had to delete my entire search history for that day & hope my hubby wouldn't notice. He would have been slightly bugged & given me a bad time but if it had been the other way around & he was searching for an old girlfriend I would have fucking flipped out.
It's so funny how things can get away from me.
I am really quite ashamed of this ordeal but pretty pleased that I have such skill. Scary!
Wonder who's stalking me? Or who's stalking you? Or who are you stalking?
Have a wonderful night!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Some Decisions are Easy...
I wasn't sure about this trip to Kansas for two reasons: My work & my kid.
I am so, so, so, so , so glad I came. I feel so amazing being here. I am waiting on my Grandma hand & foot but it is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. I made her beef stew today & we watched Andy Griffith & lots of Game Shows.
And my boss doesn't even realize that I'm out of the office. If it comes up I will tell him but I am responding to all of my messages very quickly so I'm not even missing a beat.
Tloday she told me that I mad her day by coming. I told her that I hope I made her week. I'm also able to give all my amazing aunts, uncle & cousins a schedule reliever because they've done shifts over here around the clock.
My Grandma really needs me. Especially the second I sit down she totally needs something. She needs a Kleenex. Or her chapstick. Or a refill on her water. Or her cell phone plugged in. My Aunt was over today & she said, very accurately, that "She'll keep you hopping."
Here are a couple of things about my Grandma. One is like me the other is so not:
My Grandma is a person that rarely sits still. She's always staightening something up or picking something up or putting something away or moving or arranging. Whatever. Even if she's watching tv she's working on a crossword. This new situation is very different for her. She has to sit still but she orders me to do everything she would do if she could. I love it.
I love it because it's so not me. I can just veg out completely. Not do anything. Even when it looks like I'm watching tv I'm often not. I am just vegging out. I'm actually completely lost in my thoughts which is different than just playing white noise in your head, but I can sit mostly still & do nothing. My foot is usually moving though so I'm not completely still.
What is me is the talking to myself. My Grandma totally talks to herself. She jabbers away like she's having a conversation. Today I was in the living room reading on the couch & I heard her quietly begin her chat. She got louder & louder just babbling about everything. Then she said to herself, "Well, I need it but I just can't reach it, it's too far away." That was the first time what she was saying concerned me so I asked her "What do you need, Grandma?"
It was her chapstick & she couldn't reach it. So I got up & got it. We made no mention of my eavesdropping on her conversation.
I used to tease her about it when I was younger. But looking back some of my favorite memories are listening to her chat in the next room while she was making the bed, cooking or doing the laundry.
It's the same thing I do now. I jabber away in my head but sometimes it spills over & I say things out loud. My hubby asks "What did you say?" & I tell him I was just talking to myself. He understands. He knows it is just like my Grandma. And the older I get the more I do it.
I'm a lot like my Grandma. And I love, love, love the fucking turtles.
I miss my boys but I am so glad I'm here.
Have a wonderful night!
I am so, so, so, so , so glad I came. I feel so amazing being here. I am waiting on my Grandma hand & foot but it is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. I made her beef stew today & we watched Andy Griffith & lots of Game Shows.
And my boss doesn't even realize that I'm out of the office. If it comes up I will tell him but I am responding to all of my messages very quickly so I'm not even missing a beat.
Tloday she told me that I mad her day by coming. I told her that I hope I made her week. I'm also able to give all my amazing aunts, uncle & cousins a schedule reliever because they've done shifts over here around the clock.
My Grandma really needs me. Especially the second I sit down she totally needs something. She needs a Kleenex. Or her chapstick. Or a refill on her water. Or her cell phone plugged in. My Aunt was over today & she said, very accurately, that "She'll keep you hopping."
Here are a couple of things about my Grandma. One is like me the other is so not:
My Grandma is a person that rarely sits still. She's always staightening something up or picking something up or putting something away or moving or arranging. Whatever. Even if she's watching tv she's working on a crossword. This new situation is very different for her. She has to sit still but she orders me to do everything she would do if she could. I love it.
I love it because it's so not me. I can just veg out completely. Not do anything. Even when it looks like I'm watching tv I'm often not. I am just vegging out. I'm actually completely lost in my thoughts which is different than just playing white noise in your head, but I can sit mostly still & do nothing. My foot is usually moving though so I'm not completely still.
What is me is the talking to myself. My Grandma totally talks to herself. She jabbers away like she's having a conversation. Today I was in the living room reading on the couch & I heard her quietly begin her chat. She got louder & louder just babbling about everything. Then she said to herself, "Well, I need it but I just can't reach it, it's too far away." That was the first time what she was saying concerned me so I asked her "What do you need, Grandma?"
It was her chapstick & she couldn't reach it. So I got up & got it. We made no mention of my eavesdropping on her conversation.
I used to tease her about it when I was younger. But looking back some of my favorite memories are listening to her chat in the next room while she was making the bed, cooking or doing the laundry.
It's the same thing I do now. I jabber away in my head but sometimes it spills over & I say things out loud. My hubby asks "What did you say?" & I tell him I was just talking to myself. He understands. He knows it is just like my Grandma. And the older I get the more I do it.
I'm a lot like my Grandma. And I love, love, love the fucking turtles.
I miss my boys but I am so glad I'm here.
Have a wonderful night!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Happy Tuesday...
So, the weekend was fun. Totally fun. Had a great time at the Beer & Wine Festival, had fun with my hubby, had a great visit with great friends & enjoyed the cool & rainy Sunday.
I have work stuff scheduled next week. Yeh! It's not really picking up but at least it's happening. Whew.
It's such an odd thing that I have a bi-polar job when I tend to almost be a type of bi-polar person. My job is up, it's down & back & forth. Matches my moods I suppose. My boss is kind of the same way so we're likely in the correct careers.
Yesterday I went shopping & got two new purses, a wallet & a candle. I love how the discount stores have such a random array of things. Like TJ Maxx has everything I could need ~ I could have come out with shoes, clothes, Le Creuset & Halloween Decorations. I love it! I didn't get a cart, however, so as soon as my hands & arms were full I checked out. Me happy. Until the credit card bill comes & then me guilty. Oh well, I haven't done any other shopping recently so I shouldn't be in too much trouble.
I have just been in a purse mood. Ever since I went to Reno & found a gorgeous salmon pink purse that I should have bought at Dillard's. It was on sale & I'm kinda glad now that I didn't get it because yesterday I got two quality bags for just a wee bit over the sale price of the Reno one.
My house was cleaned on Friday so that really makes me happy. I love it when it's clean! I wish I was better at keeping it that way.
And tomorrow I leave for Wichita to spend a week with my Grandma. I'll likely blog from there. I'm so truly looking forward to this time with her but I am seriously freaking out about leaving my boys for so long.
I have been away from the kid for 8 days but I was on vacation with my hubby so I wasn't without either of them. It's going to be so odd. And I'm going to miss my dog & kitty, too. But I wouldn't trade this opportunity for anything & I'm just so thrilled I'm able to do it.
Have a wonderful day & I'll write soon.
Probably tonight while I'm having cocktails & procrastinating packing, actually!
I have work stuff scheduled next week. Yeh! It's not really picking up but at least it's happening. Whew.
It's such an odd thing that I have a bi-polar job when I tend to almost be a type of bi-polar person. My job is up, it's down & back & forth. Matches my moods I suppose. My boss is kind of the same way so we're likely in the correct careers.
Yesterday I went shopping & got two new purses, a wallet & a candle. I love how the discount stores have such a random array of things. Like TJ Maxx has everything I could need ~ I could have come out with shoes, clothes, Le Creuset & Halloween Decorations. I love it! I didn't get a cart, however, so as soon as my hands & arms were full I checked out. Me happy. Until the credit card bill comes & then me guilty. Oh well, I haven't done any other shopping recently so I shouldn't be in too much trouble.
I have just been in a purse mood. Ever since I went to Reno & found a gorgeous salmon pink purse that I should have bought at Dillard's. It was on sale & I'm kinda glad now that I didn't get it because yesterday I got two quality bags for just a wee bit over the sale price of the Reno one.
My house was cleaned on Friday so that really makes me happy. I love it when it's clean! I wish I was better at keeping it that way.
And tomorrow I leave for Wichita to spend a week with my Grandma. I'll likely blog from there. I'm so truly looking forward to this time with her but I am seriously freaking out about leaving my boys for so long.
I have been away from the kid for 8 days but I was on vacation with my hubby so I wasn't without either of them. It's going to be so odd. And I'm going to miss my dog & kitty, too. But I wouldn't trade this opportunity for anything & I'm just so thrilled I'm able to do it.
Have a wonderful day & I'll write soon.
Probably tonight while I'm having cocktails & procrastinating packing, actually!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Looking Forward to Forward...
A few things can really change my attitude. Big, small, whatever ~ sometimes it just takes a little bit of motion to get me moving.
My house is getting cleaned tomorrow. I'm ok at cleaning it but it's so hard for me to keep it picked up & clean that it can really get away from me. It's gotten away from me lately.
It's so funny because it seems like the more free time I have, the less I get accomplished. If I'm on a limited amount of time schedule then I jam things in. But if I have lots of time I am just a total bum. Very interesting.
Tomorrow is house cleaning day. So today is my pick-up the house day. It will feel good to have the guest bed cleaned off. It's my clean clothes staging area.
My brother & niece are in town so my folks will have my son stay the night both Friday & Saturday nights. It's gives the hubby & I a lot of quality time together & he loves it. My parents treat the kids like the world revolves around them because over there, it does.
And then the Redding Beer & Wine Festival is this weekend. I love that. My brother is going with us & we're meeting friends there. Then they will probably all come over here for cocktails after. I love this time of year. It's so perfect to sit on our back patio & drink & talk & laugh.
But the pseudo-party = need a clean house. That's how I negotiated it with the hubby.
Even some work stuff is going on. Just wrapping up old things but at least the phone is ringing. The eery silence has been freaking me out.
And then next week I'm going to Kansas to spend a week with my Grandma. I am really looking forward to that.
So, I hope you all are having a fantastic day. Mine is productive. At least I intend it to be.
But...wonder what's on the Travel Channel?! Is that Twilight on HBO?
My house is getting cleaned tomorrow. I'm ok at cleaning it but it's so hard for me to keep it picked up & clean that it can really get away from me. It's gotten away from me lately.
It's so funny because it seems like the more free time I have, the less I get accomplished. If I'm on a limited amount of time schedule then I jam things in. But if I have lots of time I am just a total bum. Very interesting.
Tomorrow is house cleaning day. So today is my pick-up the house day. It will feel good to have the guest bed cleaned off. It's my clean clothes staging area.
My brother & niece are in town so my folks will have my son stay the night both Friday & Saturday nights. It's gives the hubby & I a lot of quality time together & he loves it. My parents treat the kids like the world revolves around them because over there, it does.
And then the Redding Beer & Wine Festival is this weekend. I love that. My brother is going with us & we're meeting friends there. Then they will probably all come over here for cocktails after. I love this time of year. It's so perfect to sit on our back patio & drink & talk & laugh.
But the pseudo-party = need a clean house. That's how I negotiated it with the hubby.
Even some work stuff is going on. Just wrapping up old things but at least the phone is ringing. The eery silence has been freaking me out.
And then next week I'm going to Kansas to spend a week with my Grandma. I am really looking forward to that.
So, I hope you all are having a fantastic day. Mine is productive. At least I intend it to be.
But...wonder what's on the Travel Channel?! Is that Twilight on HBO?
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Seasons Changing Still...
I don't mean to be a downer these days but it seems it's not uncommon this time of year so I'll just go with it.
I just read an interesting article on Yahoo about the fact that Fall can bring unease because it's the end of carefree summer & back to a more rigorous routine.
Fall is actually my favorite season so I don't think it's to do with the time of year for me but the change that's happening ~ that's always happening.
My friend wrote something very poignant on Facebook the other day. It almost brought me to tears because I understood it so well:
"Woke up and asked the air around his head, "when is normal?" Then, I realized that I was in the new normal...and I wept for a moment for old normals passing."
His life change was significant ~ his father had just passed away. I think of him often & hope he eventually finds peace with his new normal.
My changes are minor but still significant to me.
My son's in kindergarten. My job is incredibly slow. My hormones are just out of whack & I'm not feeling right. My Grandmother is in tenuous health for the first time in my life.
My childbearing choices are causing me grief. And I have never, ever questioned my decisions in the past so this is very uncharted territory for me to experience.
My only child decision is one I will ultimately be fine with. We are able to give our son the best of everything & he gets to experience more than most children do. He also has my niece, 18 months younger than he is, & they are almost as close as siblings & spend a great deal of time together. And he gets such valuable time with my parents that he might not get if he had a sibling.
It's me being selfish & wanting another child. The hubby & the kid do not. And without them on board it would make it even more challenging. I'd rather be pissed at my hubby for not wanting more than have him quietly resent me for having another. I'm used to being pissed at him a lot of the time anyway. He's used to it to ~ no big deal.
I'm trying not to drink very much these days, which is also quite new to me. And no meds. wtf?
I am having such an uneasy grasp on my moods & general uneasiness that adding very much of any kind of substances is making the slippery slope even slipperier (let's see what spell check has to say about that :)
All in all my life is great so I really don't know why I can't snap out of this. I need to count my blessings & try to get some perspective:
My child is healthy & happy & remarkably well adjusted in spite of having me as his mother.
My marriage is peaceful & happy although the hubby is getting annoyed with my case of the blahs. He's out of town all this week so we are missing each other right now & that will help with the weekend. We have a fun Saturday planned without the kiddo & then will be golfing on Sunday. Quality time is so good for us.
My Grandmother is doing better & expected to leave the rehab hospital in the next week or so & then I'll be staying with her for 6 days as soon as she gets out. I am really looking forward to that quality time with her & helping her in any way I can. I also appreciate that today she turns 87 years old & that she has been a remarkable Grandma to me my entire life.
My parents are healthy & happy & I am fortunate enough to be blessed with many very wonderful friends.
My bills are paid & I'm employed.
I guess I'm doing ok. I need to keep remembering that.
Have a great day!
I just read an interesting article on Yahoo about the fact that Fall can bring unease because it's the end of carefree summer & back to a more rigorous routine.
Fall is actually my favorite season so I don't think it's to do with the time of year for me but the change that's happening ~ that's always happening.
My friend wrote something very poignant on Facebook the other day. It almost brought me to tears because I understood it so well:
"Woke up and asked the air around his head, "when is normal?" Then, I realized that I was in the new normal...and I wept for a moment for old normals passing."
His life change was significant ~ his father had just passed away. I think of him often & hope he eventually finds peace with his new normal.
My changes are minor but still significant to me.
My son's in kindergarten. My job is incredibly slow. My hormones are just out of whack & I'm not feeling right. My Grandmother is in tenuous health for the first time in my life.
My childbearing choices are causing me grief. And I have never, ever questioned my decisions in the past so this is very uncharted territory for me to experience.
My only child decision is one I will ultimately be fine with. We are able to give our son the best of everything & he gets to experience more than most children do. He also has my niece, 18 months younger than he is, & they are almost as close as siblings & spend a great deal of time together. And he gets such valuable time with my parents that he might not get if he had a sibling.
It's me being selfish & wanting another child. The hubby & the kid do not. And without them on board it would make it even more challenging. I'd rather be pissed at my hubby for not wanting more than have him quietly resent me for having another. I'm used to being pissed at him a lot of the time anyway. He's used to it to ~ no big deal.
I'm trying not to drink very much these days, which is also quite new to me. And no meds. wtf?
I am having such an uneasy grasp on my moods & general uneasiness that adding very much of any kind of substances is making the slippery slope even slipperier (let's see what spell check has to say about that :)
All in all my life is great so I really don't know why I can't snap out of this. I need to count my blessings & try to get some perspective:
My child is healthy & happy & remarkably well adjusted in spite of having me as his mother.
My marriage is peaceful & happy although the hubby is getting annoyed with my case of the blahs. He's out of town all this week so we are missing each other right now & that will help with the weekend. We have a fun Saturday planned without the kiddo & then will be golfing on Sunday. Quality time is so good for us.
My Grandmother is doing better & expected to leave the rehab hospital in the next week or so & then I'll be staying with her for 6 days as soon as she gets out. I am really looking forward to that quality time with her & helping her in any way I can. I also appreciate that today she turns 87 years old & that she has been a remarkable Grandma to me my entire life.
My parents are healthy & happy & I am fortunate enough to be blessed with many very wonderful friends.
My bills are paid & I'm employed.
I guess I'm doing ok. I need to keep remembering that.
Have a great day!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Decisions, Decisions...
Some choices we make we wonder about forever. Like whether or not to have more children or not to have more children, as my example. And I know if I had decided to have more I would not have ever regretted it but since I chose just one, I will be haunted about it forever.
Some people likely feel the same way about lost loves. The "what might have been" aspect. I never feel that way about that choice. I could never have found a partner more suited to me.
But the children part I always wonder about. I always will.
Some people likely feel the same way about lost loves. The "what might have been" aspect. I never feel that way about that choice. I could never have found a partner more suited to me.
But the children part I always wonder about. I always will.
Boy World...
I find myself in Boy World quite a bit. It's funny because that just seems to be where I tend to wander.
My household is all boys. My kid, my dog, my cat & my hubby.
My job is mostly with boys. I'm usually the only girl in the room or on the job site. At least 90% of the time.
And then at the poker table, it's very common for me to be the only girl. At least 90% of the time.
I like the insight into boy world. I find that boys are mean. But at least they're mean to the face. They're quick to tell each other how fat they're getting or anything mean that pops into their minds. We girls say these things but we almost always do it behind each others' backs.
Playing poker on Friday night I saw a couple of really funny things. The party host & birthday boy was asked several times from several different people if he was going to watch football on Sunday. Each time he replied that he didn't know. Although there were a lot of funny follow-up questions, the best was as follows:
"Oh, do have a lot of crocheting to catch up on?"
And then the same fellow, one of the funniest guys I have EVER met, said the funniest thing at the table.
Birthday boy caught his card on the river & caused funny guy to lose a big pot. When the card came funny guy said, deadpan, "Nice shot, fluffy."
I'm using that line at the table.
There were actually three girls out of nine players & the final two of us were both girls heads-up. I lost going all in with a suited queen king & she had pocket aces. She'd had pocket kings the hand before. wtf? It was a really fun game & I loved how I played.
Anyway, the two other girls were talking about some jewelry party that was happening the following week. The hostess is one of my best friends & the other girl asked if I was coming. I said I had told her to please stop inviting me to that crap because I wouldn't ever come & it looked like she had. Thank goodness.
It was just like the time that this very best friend of mine was sewing curtains & her sewing machine broke & she called me to ask if I had a sewing machine she could borrow.
My reply was, "You're fucking kidding me, right?"
Now I love my friends. Especially the girly, crafty ones because they are so different from me & I truly appreciate those differences. But I'll always be the girl playing golf with the boys & playing poker with the boys while the wives are at the spa.
I love boy world.
But my hubby still has to kill the bugs.
Have a fabulous day!
My household is all boys. My kid, my dog, my cat & my hubby.
My job is mostly with boys. I'm usually the only girl in the room or on the job site. At least 90% of the time.
And then at the poker table, it's very common for me to be the only girl. At least 90% of the time.
I like the insight into boy world. I find that boys are mean. But at least they're mean to the face. They're quick to tell each other how fat they're getting or anything mean that pops into their minds. We girls say these things but we almost always do it behind each others' backs.
Playing poker on Friday night I saw a couple of really funny things. The party host & birthday boy was asked several times from several different people if he was going to watch football on Sunday. Each time he replied that he didn't know. Although there were a lot of funny follow-up questions, the best was as follows:
"Oh, do have a lot of crocheting to catch up on?"
And then the same fellow, one of the funniest guys I have EVER met, said the funniest thing at the table.
Birthday boy caught his card on the river & caused funny guy to lose a big pot. When the card came funny guy said, deadpan, "Nice shot, fluffy."
I'm using that line at the table.
There were actually three girls out of nine players & the final two of us were both girls heads-up. I lost going all in with a suited queen king & she had pocket aces. She'd had pocket kings the hand before. wtf? It was a really fun game & I loved how I played.
Anyway, the two other girls were talking about some jewelry party that was happening the following week. The hostess is one of my best friends & the other girl asked if I was coming. I said I had told her to please stop inviting me to that crap because I wouldn't ever come & it looked like she had. Thank goodness.
It was just like the time that this very best friend of mine was sewing curtains & her sewing machine broke & she called me to ask if I had a sewing machine she could borrow.
My reply was, "You're fucking kidding me, right?"
Now I love my friends. Especially the girly, crafty ones because they are so different from me & I truly appreciate those differences. But I'll always be the girl playing golf with the boys & playing poker with the boys while the wives are at the spa.
I love boy world.
But my hubby still has to kill the bugs.
Have a fabulous day!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Seasons Change...
It's fall. At least it feels like fall. At night anyway.
Shit's been going down. And it makes me feel my mortality. My vitality. My strengths & my fears.
My grandmother fell down & broke her hip. Or she broke her hip & fell down as our surgeon friend told us was more likely. He said most elderly people actually react & snap their hip & then fall down. They don't actually fall down & then snap their hip. Interesting bit of trivia, I suppose.
My Grandmother & I are close. Really close. I talk to her several times a week if not more. If something pops into my mind I call her & she's there & we talk. We chat all the time. And when I visit her we are even closer in person.
She's the only Grandma I've ever had. My Mom's Mom died when she was 6. And my Great Grandmother who raised my Mom died when I was 4. I remember her though. She used to watch General Hospital & the villain's name on that "story", as she called it, was named Lisa. She was so mad my Mom named me Lisa that she called me Litha. She gave me a beautiful locket that I treasure to this day. And my Mom says she still feels her presence. Especially if she's doing something of which my Great Grandmother would have not approved.
It's been odd this last week, not having my Grandma to call. I called her at the hospital but it wasn't the same. She wasn't the same. Her voice was flat. I've been near tears all week. Shed them a few times.
I'm going back as soon as she gets out of the rehab hospital in a week or two to spend time with her. Today she was worried about how she would feed me while she was laid up. It's my turn to proudly feed her. To help her. To treasure her. To love her.
And I do. I always have & always will. She's actually one of my very best friends. And here's just one example of why we're so close ~ so alike:
When I was in my late teens or early twenties, she told me to go through her jewelry box to see if there was anything I liked. I squealed with delight as I found a small gold turtle pin. I said "it's two turtles..." big pause as I examined them. "And they're making love."
My Grandma laughed & said "I call those my 'Fucking Turtles'."
The next year, for my birthday she gave me those turtles & a matching set of earrings. I love all four of them!
I look forward to another decade or so of my Grandma's companionship. Of her counsel & her ear. I hope she's here at least that long. But I know she'll always be in my heart & on my mind. And I'll always feel her presence. In fact I've told her she's always welcome to stop by, anytime she'd like. Now or in the future ~ wherever she may be.
Have a great night & cherish your loved ones ~ Lisa
Shit's been going down. And it makes me feel my mortality. My vitality. My strengths & my fears.
My grandmother fell down & broke her hip. Or she broke her hip & fell down as our surgeon friend told us was more likely. He said most elderly people actually react & snap their hip & then fall down. They don't actually fall down & then snap their hip. Interesting bit of trivia, I suppose.
My Grandmother & I are close. Really close. I talk to her several times a week if not more. If something pops into my mind I call her & she's there & we talk. We chat all the time. And when I visit her we are even closer in person.
She's the only Grandma I've ever had. My Mom's Mom died when she was 6. And my Great Grandmother who raised my Mom died when I was 4. I remember her though. She used to watch General Hospital & the villain's name on that "story", as she called it, was named Lisa. She was so mad my Mom named me Lisa that she called me Litha. She gave me a beautiful locket that I treasure to this day. And my Mom says she still feels her presence. Especially if she's doing something of which my Great Grandmother would have not approved.
It's been odd this last week, not having my Grandma to call. I called her at the hospital but it wasn't the same. She wasn't the same. Her voice was flat. I've been near tears all week. Shed them a few times.
I'm going back as soon as she gets out of the rehab hospital in a week or two to spend time with her. Today she was worried about how she would feed me while she was laid up. It's my turn to proudly feed her. To help her. To treasure her. To love her.
And I do. I always have & always will. She's actually one of my very best friends. And here's just one example of why we're so close ~ so alike:
When I was in my late teens or early twenties, she told me to go through her jewelry box to see if there was anything I liked. I squealed with delight as I found a small gold turtle pin. I said "it's two turtles..." big pause as I examined them. "And they're making love."
My Grandma laughed & said "I call those my 'Fucking Turtles'."
The next year, for my birthday she gave me those turtles & a matching set of earrings. I love all four of them!
I look forward to another decade or so of my Grandma's companionship. Of her counsel & her ear. I hope she's here at least that long. But I know she'll always be in my heart & on my mind. And I'll always feel her presence. In fact I've told her she's always welcome to stop by, anytime she'd like. Now or in the future ~ wherever she may be.
Have a great night & cherish your loved ones ~ Lisa
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Mugshots As Teaching Tools...
I recently posted a link to reddingblog.com/mugshots as my Facebook status & it's gotten a lot of attention. One of my friends mentioned that she would like to find a way to use it as discipline for her children & I had to comment, but not on Facebook.
I did use the mugshots as a form of "discipline" for the kiddo one time. He was mad at me about something I was making him do & he angrily told me "I want a new Mommy."
It seriously hurt my feelings but after I thought about it for a while I brought him into my office, sat him down & showed him the Mommies that were available because they lost their kids.
He didn't find any of them appealing so he'll likely never say that to me again. It's sort of a joke now when I ask him if he wants a new Mommy he says no way.
My Mom says we all find our own way to parent. She was not a fan of my tactic but I thought it was amusing & effective.
Have a great day!
I did use the mugshots as a form of "discipline" for the kiddo one time. He was mad at me about something I was making him do & he angrily told me "I want a new Mommy."
It seriously hurt my feelings but after I thought about it for a while I brought him into my office, sat him down & showed him the Mommies that were available because they lost their kids.
He didn't find any of them appealing so he'll likely never say that to me again. It's sort of a joke now when I ask him if he wants a new Mommy he says no way.
My Mom says we all find our own way to parent. She was not a fan of my tactic but I thought it was amusing & effective.
Have a great day!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Why So Quiet?
I think the reason I'm more quiet now is because my son is so loud all the time & I am seriously allergic to little boy noise.
(But I do seriously yell my head off at soccer games!)
All the banging & the booming & the running trains & the crashes. Now when my hubby & I have a date night I am quiet in the car. We totally chat at dinner ~ we still have great conversations ~ but I'm quiet in the car.
A lot of the time I don't even like the radio on. When I drive alone I like it on, I love to sing loudly to fun music. But when it's just us a lot of the time I like it quiet.
I think we used to have a lot more silence in our lives than we realized. And now those opportunities are much less frequent so I appreciate the few that we have.
We talk on the phone 10 times a day & we're chattery then. I'm just not the chatterer that I used to be. Although my friends would tell you I am, my hubby would not.
He's even more sensitive to the boy's loud noises than I am so I would think he would like our quiet rides. But he worries there's something wrong with me.
I think when I drive I have to pay attention to the road & when he drives I can totally zone out & just think or not think. He always laughs at me because it will appear that I'm watching TV next to him but when he asks me about something that was just on I frequently have to tell him that I didn't see it because I wasn't paying attention. I just zone out in the direction of the television.
Things always change. That's one thing I can always count on. I'll probably change a thousand times more before we're done with our 50+ year relationship. "God willing & the creeks don't rise" as my Grandfather always said.
My hubby is just a "fixer". If he thinks something is wrong he wants to identify the problem & fix it. I don't think there is a problem so there's nothing to fix. So that creates a problem for him. Vicious circle.
Have a happy Sunday ~ I know I will!
(But I do seriously yell my head off at soccer games!)
All the banging & the booming & the running trains & the crashes. Now when my hubby & I have a date night I am quiet in the car. We totally chat at dinner ~ we still have great conversations ~ but I'm quiet in the car.
A lot of the time I don't even like the radio on. When I drive alone I like it on, I love to sing loudly to fun music. But when it's just us a lot of the time I like it quiet.
I think we used to have a lot more silence in our lives than we realized. And now those opportunities are much less frequent so I appreciate the few that we have.
We talk on the phone 10 times a day & we're chattery then. I'm just not the chatterer that I used to be. Although my friends would tell you I am, my hubby would not.
He's even more sensitive to the boy's loud noises than I am so I would think he would like our quiet rides. But he worries there's something wrong with me.
I think when I drive I have to pay attention to the road & when he drives I can totally zone out & just think or not think. He always laughs at me because it will appear that I'm watching TV next to him but when he asks me about something that was just on I frequently have to tell him that I didn't see it because I wasn't paying attention. I just zone out in the direction of the television.
Things always change. That's one thing I can always count on. I'll probably change a thousand times more before we're done with our 50+ year relationship. "God willing & the creeks don't rise" as my Grandfather always said.
My hubby is just a "fixer". If he thinks something is wrong he wants to identify the problem & fix it. I don't think there is a problem so there's nothing to fix. So that creates a problem for him. Vicious circle.
Have a happy Sunday ~ I know I will!
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